An ordinary character up against the rich and famous...

            Interview with a Ne’er-do-Well

World Renowned Luminaries, otherwise known as WRL because we like to keep things simple, is happy to broadcast a radio interview with someone you may find extraordinary. Or, to put it another way, someone who is out of the ordinary. As a rule, we are proud to broadcast interviews with people of accomplishment…people who have achieved significant success in various pursuits. Those pursuits include business, sports, the arts, politics and so on. Many of them enjoy fame and fortune. All of them are very well known. However, our guest today has nothing in common with any of those people…

Welcome to the program, sir.
Thank you.

First of all, allow me to point out to our listens that you have asked us not to reveal your name.

That’s correct.

You wish to remain anonymous?

Exactly.

But, with all due respect, nobody knows who you are anyway.

So?

Well, if nobody knows who you are then, you already are anonymous.

And I’d like to keep it that way if you don’t mind.

Very well, sir. As you may recall from the intro, this program is accustomed to interviewing people of prominence…people of noteworthy accomplishments.

Yes, I do recall. It was only a moment ago and I was sitting right here as you spoke.

Ah, yes. So you were. What is extraordinary about you…

Out of the ordinary, you mean.

Yes. What is out of the ordinary about you is your utter lack of noteworthy accomplishments.

I’m not out of the ordinary…let’s just say ordinary. A has-been, so to speak?

Well, not really, sir. I mean, by definition, a has-been was, at some point in his life, somebody of merit…somebody of consequence.

Could I be considered an also-ran?

Not unless you were actually in a race running for something.

So, neither a has-been nor an also-ran?

I’m afraid not. But, let’s forget about what you haven’t done and focus on what you have done. Perhaps you could describe for our audience what you do on a typical day.

Ah, let me think…oh yeah, I wake up.

There you go. Now see, that’s a start. Then, let me guess…you get out of bed, right?

Eventually, but, not right away.

Oh?

I lie in bed and dream.

Most people dream while they’re asleep.

Those dreams are difficult to remember and even more difficult to understand.

Read Freud’s Interpretation of Dreams. Wish we could have had him on our show but, no radio back then.

Actually, Marconi initiated the first radio transmission in 1897…two years before Freud published that book.

Very limited, I imagine.

The first transatlantic broadcast was in 1901.

Yes well, be that as it may, World Renowned Luminaries was not around back then.

Probably because there were no world renowned luminaries back then. Without movies and television the world consisted of ordinary people like me.

Although, some of them did or were doing extraordinary things.

Many of them still are. They’re just not on your program and they’re not interested in being on your program.

Why?

Because they have their own program.

I see. So, where were we? Oh yeah, you wake up and dream. Dream about what?

About having someone to love.

And someone who loves you, right?

That would be a bonus, yes. But mostly, just a wife and a child because I have so much love and no one to give it to.

Well now, that’s a noble ambition.

Indeed it is. And, ironically enough, it’s also a very ordinary ambition…testimony to the nobility in the souls of ordinary people. Most probably an ambition shared by many of the rich and famous luminaries that your show promotes.

Yes…yes, most probably. Not to get too personal but, are your parents disappointed in you.

Not now…they’re both dead. Otherwise, why should they have been? Because I’m, as you say, a ne’er-do-well?  My parents didn’t raise me to become rich and famous. They raised me to be a decent human being…to be the best human being I could be. One of the many lessons I learned from them was to appreciate the distinction between style and class. This world is full of people with all the style of boutique mannequins and not a thread of class. Style is easy to acquire and easy to define. Class is something else entirely. To a great extent, you either have it or you don’t. I emulated my parents because they had both…both style and class. The only person in the public arena I felt that way about was Fred Astaire. He was a genuine luminary.

Agreed. He was a guest on this program three years before he died and several years before I became the host. I’ve listened to the interview many times and been so impressed with the humility of a person who accomplished so much…the greatest dancer of all time.   

He was a true luminary and a personification of the kind of both style and class that is so sorely missing in our world these days…in politics, the arts and simple basic inter-human relationships.

Again, I agree. Perhaps, we should have more ordinary people as guests on our program.

Ne’er do-wells, like me?

Perhaps.

Anything else you miss?

Yes, I miss the water…I was ten months and ten days in my mother’s womb. Have always enjoyed the sea and been scared to death of eternity. But, I take solace in Byron’s remark from Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage that the sea is the “image of eternity”. I could live and die with that.

Do you watch TV news programs?

Back when they focused on reporting the news, yes. In the last few years, however, they have increasingly become propaganda affiliates hosted by bogus journalists who are far more interested in becoming the news in lieu of reporting it. They are a disservice and a disgrace devoid of both integrity and credibility.

Would you care to identify a network you think behaves in such a fashion?

I’d be happy to if you would first identify a network you think doesn’t behave in such a fashion.

Well, as I consider myself to be a proud member of the journalistic community…

You would tend to refrain from criticizing members of that community, right?

Yes. Can you blame me?

It seems to me that the primary responsibility of journalists is to the general public; not to their fellow tradesmen. And, tradesmen are exactly what they have become…merchandizers, speculators, traffickers, take your pick. Advocacy journalism has usurped the honest and factual reporting of the news. The general public did not appoint nor are they interested in journalists who consider themselves as missionaries hell bent on changing the world in accordance with their personal biases. Their mission should be to report world events as truthfully as possible and let the general public decide the merits for themselves.

So you would suggest…

I would suggest that journalists focus exclusively on what the truth is and not upon what they would like it to be. Unfortunately, members of the general public have been infected. I’ve even had members of my own family who have lied straight to my face. My guess is that they do so because it relieves the stress of telling the truth. Where I live there is such a thing as karma. Karma will catch up with those people and when that happens, God help them.

I mentioned earlier that perhaps our program should have more ordinary people as guests.

And, now?

Now? Not so sure. Nevertheless, I appreciate your being on our program and, most of all; I wish you all the best with your ambition, your noble ambition, your dream, of finding someone special to love. I’m certain that whoever it is will be a better person for it and will love you in return.

Thank you for that. And, all the best to you, as well.