Crackle, Snap! - Chapter 1, written by Sandie May Joyce (Sandie Ange). Please scroll down to read the story.
Oh, those loud crackling noise!
Crackle, Snap!
Chapter 1
That's it! Old man Charlie has finally snapped!
While his wife Edith was out shopping, he went and gathered up all her sunflower seeds - there were about half a dozen bags of them - and dumped them all out into the neighbour's garbage bin. He was sick and tired of Edith eating those damned sunflower seeds, making loud crackling noises which pierced through his brain! He could no longer tolerate her cracking those seeds.
"Edith! Why don't you crack them more quietly? Jeeze! I can't even hear myself think for crying out loud!"
"Don't tell me what to do, Charlie! Just sit there and watch your damn TV! I've slaved over the stove for a nice dinner for you, at least I deserve to sit down to eat my sunflower seeds!"
"Yeah, but can't you just crack them quietly? I can't even concentrate! All I can hear is crack, Crack, CRACK!!! It becomes louder each time!" Charlie said, "And then I've got to listen to you chewing them damned seeds in your mouth!"
"You over exaggerate everything! There’s no way you can hear me chewing!" Edith defended herself. "It's all inside your head."
But Edith was wrong! Inside Charlie's mind, he could see Edith taking each blasted seed between her fingers: he could see it as though a magnifying glass were held up to her mouth! She would put that seed in between her upper and lower teeth and then bite down hard on it, and then that loud crackling noise would come like a hammer hitting on top of his head: "CRACK!" It would shoot right through, like a bullet to the brain! Then that magnified, gaping maw would show the chewed up remnants of those very seeds which were becoming the bane of his existence in slow motion – as if her jaw itself had become some sort of a twisted torturing device! There it was again, that horrid sound! Crunch, Crunch, CRUNCH!!! Charlie was slowly becoming a man unhinged – he could even hear her cracking away in his sleep!
It was not like this at the beginning of their marriage. Edith was a sweet and petite woman. Whenever Charlie came home from work he would often find her in the kitchen, bare naked except for an apron. Yes, that was how he would find her, in the kitchen every evening when he came home from work. Their world would only consist of two people - him and Edith. With all the drapes drawn, they would parade naked around the house, lay in bed after dinner, and made love until both were exhausted and fell asleep. It was all fun and harmony during those days. Then along came their first child - a baby boy! They named him Michael. Michael was a bundle of joy. Charlie was so proud to be a father. He felt like he was just promoted from a boy to being a real man! He remembered how pinkish Michael's skin was when the nurse brought him over to see his daddy. She even said that Michael has Charlie's blue eyes. He looked at the little bundle and said, "Yeah! That's my boy!"
He went home and prepared the room for Michael, making sure there was ample supply of everything a baby boy would need. He also called to tell his parents and Edith's parents about the birth of Michael. All were happy for them both. Then they all came to the hospital to see Edith and the baby. His time with Edith and the baby was cut short by the constant visitors. He couldn't be happier by the time Edith could come home with Michael.
"Welcome home, honey!" He hugged and kissed the weary Edith. Without the baby in her tummy, he could now once again wrapped his arms around her. Edith looked around the room and was pleasantly surprised and pleased with how Charlie had prepared for her homecoming with the baby. The young couple was so much in love.
Then the two people's world had now become a three people world. Edith was always busy with the baby. Charlie now seemed to have demoted to someone of less importance. In Edith's world, everything revolved around the baby, not him. It would be hard for Charlie not to get jealous. Edith hardly had time for Charlie anymore. They had not the time to hug each other in bed and just lay there like they used to. Every time the baby cried, or even made a noise, Edith would jump right out of bed to go check on Michael.
The time for intimacy grew less and less. Not only that, sometimes Edith would take one little problem and turn it into something huge, and they would end up having a big argument about it. There would always be little problems, like who was going to feed the dog? What kind of dog food to buy for the dog? Whenever they disagree on something, it would become a huge argument. Then Edith would accuse Charlie of not being helpful enough or didn't do enough to help her with the baby. Charlie, on the other hand, felt Edith no longer loves him as much as she did after Michael was born. He wondered if life was just about all that - just having a baby and no fun!
Despite all that, Charlie stayed with Edith. Just a look into Michael's blue eyes, and his curly blond hair, and that sunshiny smile made it all worthwhile to be a daddy. That's my baby! He's going to grow up looking just like me! Charlie thought.
As the years passed, they had three more children. Two boys - Marvin, and Matthew; and one girl Jessica. They are grown children now and all have their own families.
So it came back to the two people's world. Yet now, this time around was not as much fun as the two people's world that they had started from years ago. After the youngest child Jessica moves away, the two were left by themselves again. Now their two people's world consists of constant arguing and fighting. They could not stand each other's presence. Edith felt the only time she felt relieved was when Charlie was at work. Her heart would skip a beat whenever she heard Charlie's key in the door even though she was fully expecting him home at a certain hour after work. Now she's always fully-clothed, and not wearing just an apron; and Charlie, who, when not working, usually sits around the house with a beer in his hand, wearing a tank top underwear with half of his sweaty man boobs hanging out. She wished he would put a shirt on himself. The way he would often criticize her for eating those sunflower seeds is ridiculous! He just wanted an excuse to start a fight.
Hahahaha!!! Ya ain't gonna find them over here now! At least I will have an evening of serenity around the house! Charlie thought, secretly congratulating himself. He gave himself a satisfying smile.
As he turned around, he saw, out of the corner of his eyes, that Nosy Nellie - their next-door neighbour - peering out from behind her window, looking directly at him!
Oh, shit! NO!!! I hope she didn't see the sunflower seeds I dumped into the bin! That would be deadly if Edith found out. Charlie's heart almost leaped out of his mouth. He straightened up his tank top and his shorts, walked with his chin up, back to his own house, pretending that he had not done anything. I hope she didn't see it anyway.
He went back to sit in front of his TV as he always would do, waiting for Edith's storm to arrive with baited breath. She should quit eating those seeds anyway.
Edith came home about an hour later, put all groceries away - she even had a nice cool shower before she came back to the living room. She just loves to crack those seeds while sitting beside Charlie. As she tried reaching for the packages of seeds from the side pocket of the lazy-boy chair, she realized the pocket was empty! She couldn't find any seeds!
WHOA!!! No seeds to crack! What is she going to do with herself?!
"Where are the seeds? What have you done with them?"
"What seeds? What are you talking about?"
"The sunflower seeds! What have you done with them? I have at least six or seven packages here. What have you done with them?" She was becoming angry.
"I don't know what you are talking about. I have not seen any sunflower seeds. I don't like them and don't eat them. You must have eaten them all already."
"Charlie, I'm not that old, and I don't have dementia! I know where I've put my seeds. I've put them over here in this slot. Funny, they must have grown legs and walked away by themselves!"
"You might have finished them all off. Go out to buy some more tomorrow. They should have tons of them in the store," Charlie said.
"But I want them NOW! Don't think I don't know what you are doing. You hate the noise and you're hiding the seeds from me," Edith was mad now. She stomped all over the house, turning cushions and chairs upside down, inspecting every drawer, but she could not find them.
"Charlie Robinson!" She was really mad now, calling him by his full name. "Don't think I don't know what you are doing! I will NOT stop eating those sunflower seeds! You just wait and see, I will crack them even louder when I come back!" She gave up hunting after a while, put her jacket back on and stomped out, slamming the front door behind her.
An hour had gone by, and now Charlie could hear Edith's SUV coming up the driveway. He jumped up from his chair and peeked out from the front window. To his horror, found Edith tugging a HUGE bag of sunflower seeds.
Charlie's eyes almost sprung out of their sockets. There were at least 3 to 4 bags of those seeds!!!
OMG!!! She going nuts! Those HUGE bags are not for human's consumption. They are raw, unroasted seeds! Those are meant for feeding the birds!!!
Well, Edith! This means war! Charlie thought. And I'm well-prepared for it!
Wow, this is totally mirroring a situation in my life, only not with my wife thankfully. I know exactly how Charlie feels. Like that one cartoon with Donald Duck and the leaky faucet. As exaggerated as it seems, it's not. It really does feel like cymbals being crashed on your head.
I also get a bit of an Archie Bunker vibe. Is that why you named her Edith?
Yes, I can relate to those early years of marriage, when neither of us thought about the problems of money and parents. Making love was fantastic. But my wanted to have four children before the age of thirty... And try we did,and succeed until I could not longer stand the sight of a huge stomach and hanging breasts and distended nipples... Oh, well, those days are far behind with my eldest now sixty-three... The only habit my new wife (nine years now) has is that she is a mutterer. When she is angry with me she mutters which kind of ticks me off because I know she is angry about something that I did or said and do I want to press her to see why? Actually, no... Sunflower seeds? For years I had been into squash seeds, the ones covered in salt, but no longer have any annoying habits. Just ask Bonnie. No, on second thought, do not...Nice story and well written, Sandi...I'll look for part two to see what he does to Edith.
Thank you so much for your reviews! This is one of the stories that will be in my new book, "Tales of Horror" which I'm compiling along with all my other horror short stories. I'm trying to write more stories into this new book. Another book I'm compiling is my short stories of Fantasy, the title to that is "Saving Princess Alethea and other stories". I'm writing as many stories as I can to fit into these two books. Wish me luck!
Since you labeled this story, "Chapter 1," I have to assume that it is part of a book. Does the book have a title? I also have to assume that while you have covered their entire life up to this point in the first chapter, that the real story starts when Charlie gets fed up with Edith's love of sunflower seeds.
It seems like almost every marriage goes through phases like you have written. Some couples tolerate each other throughout life, and many these days, divorce, some more than once. But I think this story will get quite diabolical as Charlie struggles with his demons already manifesting themselves by making his hearing, combined with his emotion, very intense whenever he hears sunflower seeds cracked in his presence.
You've pinpointed with humor what can go awry with long-suffering married couples: magnification of each other's flaws to where it's all consuming. In this case, sunflower seeds.
Great story line....Very typical of a couple that was once madly in love with one another....Then they have a one child after another....Those children grow up and they end up with the empty nest syndrome....By that time Charlie & Edith are older and have found other things to occupy their time....Edith's new favorite thing is eating sunflower seeds to satisfy the emptiness of what use to be a happy and loving relationship and of course Charlie took resentment to it....And of course life for those 2 goes spinning out of control....
A very interesting story, Sandie; somehow humorous and realistic at the same time with a hint of horror. With a little editing, this has the makings of a fine story. Thank you for sharing. Love, peace, and best wishes,
Crackle, Snap!
