First, the car. The Astin Martin is to be replaced by a large Cadillac lowrider with a Zodiac sticker on the rear window and gold trimmed wheels.
There will be a few other minor tweaks and changes of course to meet the new racial image. For example….no more Pussy Galore! What? Say it ain’t so! Yep, it’s so. Look for a new adversary known in the hood as Booty Galore! Goldfinger himself will now be Bling Finger. Remember Miss Money Penny? Forgetaboutit...now she is now known as Shirley Temple Black.
Other changes to film and TV icons are in the mix as well with Maxine Waters assuming the role of Lt. Uhuru on Star Trek, with the newly signed Al Sharpton as a Klingon activist whose 5 year mission is to boycott White Castle Hamburger joints throughout the galaxy. Also there will no longer be any Black Holes in space, but can be found along with some White Holes at the Mustang Ranch, Lunar Branch, Area 51.
TV spies will also undergo a face lift. “The Man from U.N.C.L.E.” will now be referred to as the “Man from Da H.O.O.D” who will face off with a whole string of bad guys including David Duke who only wanted to join the Ku KLux Klan so he could have clean sheets everyday as he joins forces with Steve Bannon, the Dudley Do Right of the Alt Right as they infiltrate the dreaded Antifa movement in a van with its left turn signal broken.
This whole interracial Darwinian evolution will have its drawbacks. For example there is talk of Broadway producing and all white cast of “Porgy and Bess” now spray painted “white” as “Bob and Michelle” as millennials who lose their condo to the evil Asian landlords, Mr. Wong and Mrs. Wong. This will be a hip Broadway musical featuring the smash hit “Two Wongs Do Not Make a White.”
There are rumors of plans to do a film with a white Martin Luther King, played by Leonardo DiCaprio who in the film will not be a civil rights activist, but a tennis pro at a restricted country club...and don't miss Lisa Bonet as Snow White and the Seven Basketball Players.
Coming in 2019....I Spy staring Bill Cosby as Robert Culp ad Robert Culp as Bill Cosby Moby Dick: the Hunt for the Great Black Whale starring Oprah Winfrey ... for laughs it's the new Black Three Stooges starring Wesley Snipes, Idris Elba, and Denzel as Moe...slapstick galore and finally Roots Revisited with an all Asian cast ..hell why not....coming soon!