With my nephew, Michael, when I finally gave the 73 Monte Carlo [Larger] to him in 2004. 

Four brothers were all car buffs. They were not very religious. Alas, eventually they all died and went to the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter sat in Judgment. Roger, a professional engineer, consultant, and highly successful in the Stock Market, was married in church, twice. He drove his 1980 Mercedes 280SE on the Autobahn at 100+ to the Gates, more pristine than the day it was built.

St. Peter looked down and said. "I'm sorry, you can't come in, too much fascination with the toys of the Third Reich."

Thomas, named after a Saint and a converted Catholic, was a computer scientist extraordinary and explorer. His one-of-a-kind BMW 965 CSX turned the treacherous mountain road to the Gates into the straight and narrow.

Once again, St. Peter turned Tom away: "I'm sorry, your trip computer's clock is off by a nanosecond, affected by some sort of mystical force."

Timothy, named after a Disciple and also a converted Catholic, was the owner of a highly successful worldwide trucking company. With top down to the brilliant sun, drove his XK8 straight to the Gate as if on cloud rails. St. Peter wearily noted Tim's appearance and said, "Sorry Brother, you knew where Hoffa, Elvis, and even Styx were and never told, not even to the Tabloids."

Ronald, Runnie to his Aunts, and Ron to his friends, was an atheist. Paralyzed in his misspent youth, he was over educated and didn't amount to much. In spite of failing health, he was the last to go, driven by his attendant in his 73 Chevy Monte Carlo on the much-crowded Expressway of Life. The rusted out, muffler-dragging Monte Carlo wheezed and coughed on the last steep grade, back fired, and died at the base of the Gates.

God, hearing all the commotion, came to St. Peter's side and looked down. St. Peter said, "I'm afraid...."

God cut him off: "Oh, let him in, he's had enough Hell with that car!"

Adapted from a Joke by RWH 12/3/96

Copyright 1996 © Ronald W. Hull