I Smell a Rat
As a child, we owned two white rats. Once, we left the cage door ajar. They crawled up Mom’s leg, claws snagging her nylons, causing her “eeking” rage.
Years later, Ralph, and I lived in California. It started when Ralph lifted the BBQ lid. Branches, leaves,and fuzzy stuff dangled over, accompanied by squeaking. “What the heck!” (Of course, he didn't say heck.) without another word, I scooted closer—pink, wrinkled, squealing baby rats wormed around the nest.
“Get me the blow torch!”
No! I didn’t let him.
The next day, our cockers barked incessantly, raced around. then wouldn’t leave the back door. An intruder? I opened the door a crack. The dogs slammed against the door, blasting it open into the garage. I’d never seen dogs so frenzied, running in circles. Then I saw it—a rat clenched in Brutus’ mouth, Bogey at his heels, yapping, with me chasing them around the garage.
Oops! Back door ajar! Brutus pushed into the house, rat in mouth, with Bogey behind. What to do? Would he drop it in the house? I grabbed the broom and charged after the marauding yapping dogs—me screaming with the broom waving overhead, just in case the mouse escaped.
Inside, they led me parading up, down and around ending upstairs. Brutus leaped on the master bed with Bogey nipping at his share.
“Give me that rat!” Shocking! Brutus dropped the lifeless beast. His expression said, “Did-I-do-good. Huh?”
Breathlessly, I grabbed its tail, headed for the toilet, dropped him in, and flushed. A sudden thought, “Specimen!” Being the school science coordinator, I plucked the dripping specimen out of the toilet by his tail. “He’s kicking!” I screamed. Now, I lead the chase, racing downstairs with the dogs yapping at my feet! The next day, our science lab displayed a large jar of baby rats and one adult.
Not over yet!
A week later, Ralph noticed chips under the car—like hard rubber. He swept them up. “Hope nothing’s falling apart on our new car.”
The next morning, at 7:30 AM on my way to work, it was already 75 degrees.
“Glad I wore a sundress for yard duty today!”
The temperature soared to 100 degrees after school. I dreamed of blasting the AC in the car.
As I crossed the parking lot, I paused. “What’s that smell?” When I opened the door, the fetid stench whooshed out. I almost threw up! A little air-conditioning should clear this. On with the AC. Mistake! What flew out of the vents that I had purposely spread wide open? Bits of fur, teeth, mangled body parts, and the tail infiltrated the car before I shut off the AC.
To avoid breathing the smell, I hung my head out the window. I drove directly to the Cadillac dealer.
As I drove in under the reception overhang, people jumped away from the car, held their noses, and
scurried indoors. The minute the car screeched to a halt, I jumped out and approached the service desk.
The bottom line: the air-conditioning system needed a dismantling, cleaning, fumigation, and deodorizing. The price? $1500. It took two weeks. Now, you aren't going to believe this. Days later, the entire story repeated itself. After a month, our car returned, smelling of deodorizer plus a lingering mystery scent.
Proudly wearing his pressed khaki uniform and ominous grin, the pest-controller set his traps, absolutely delighted with his efficiency. In the next few days, we caught 12 rodents in the traps.
