“In love, all kinds of love, we wait. If I can't be your dawn, I will be your sunset!” Rossana Condoleo
Watching the night outside the window, I tried not to worry about where Ben might be or what he was doing. It was the height of the rainy season and the river waters had once again risen so that residents within a half mile of its banks had been evacuated. Ben had remained behind to lend assistance as he so often did during times of crisis, despite knowing how quickly the river waters could overcome a boat searching the shore. His willingness to help others was something I took great pride in, as if he were my husband. But such was not the case.
Ben Night Horse was the light of my life. It seemed as if I'd loved him forever. Never mind that he saw me as nothing more than a friend. Once years ago I had tried to convey my feelings but if he had understood me he never let on and I never tried again. A teenage girl's pride will only stretch so far. I had other relationships over time but nothing that ever went beyond an occasional date and good night kiss. My heart just wasn't open to anyone else.
A second reflection joined mine in the darkened glass.
“You need to get some rest,” Tamara murmured as she laid a hand on my arm, “Worrying won't do you or him any good.”
At nineteen, Tamara was Ben's youngest sister. I had babysat her many times when she was growing up. Perhaps that was the reason she seemed to be the only person who knew how I felt about her brother.
“I know,” I replied tiredly, “But I can't help it.”
We stood in silence for a few minutes.
“At least come get something to eat,” she urged, “You haven't eaten since you got here and its been more than a day,”
I sighed as I silently refused. My appetite just wasn't there.
“It will make you feel better,” she promised, “Whenever I get hungry my mood plummets. I'm sure your worry would be easier to bear if you would just eat.”
I continued to stare out the window without saying anything and I heard her sigh impatiently.
“I wish my brother wasn't such a dolt. I still believe he has feelings for you. He just doesn't realize it.”
I felt the sad smile cross my face.
“Well, I tried to let him know how I felt but he did absolutely nothing in response. If he has feelings they're buried deep.”
“But, Debra, that was years ago. Have you tried since then?
“Maybe if I'd noticed an iota of interest on his part I would. But that last time hurt too much. I'm not willing to try it again.”
She harrumphed but said nothing further. Finally, I glanced at her teasingly.
“So when are you going to give Tommy Walks Far the time of day?”
She grinned before assuming a regal expression and tossing her mane of long black hair, “Only if he ever asks nicely for it.”
I chuckled. The ongoing dance those two were doing around one another never ceased to amuse me. It had been going on since they were kids with neither being willing to take the the relationship to the next inevitable level. At least not yet. I knew they would eventually, just as I knew that they were enjoying the mutually flirtatious sparring in the meanwhile. I envied them the security they felt in their relationship.
“C'mon, Debra, “Tamara cajoled after a moment, “at least have some soup and a sandwich. You can even watch the window from over there.”
Finally I nodded and allowed her to lead me across the community center's open hall to the area where the Red Cross had set up a feeding station. Shortly thereafter I was sitting on my cot with a cup of tomato soup and eating a chicken salad sandwich. Tamara had left to help those trying to keep the kids occupied and their boredom at a minimum. About half way through my meal I had to concede she was right. I was beginning to feel better.
Suddenly, with relief, I saw Ben walk in with a group of men. They all looked exhausted as they made their way to the table where the food was being dispensed. When he turned with his plate and a styrofoam cup of coffee, I watched as his eyes scanned the room then felt my heart begin to pound when our eyes met. He began walking in my direction, skirting people and other cots along the way.
Watching him approach I couldn't help but sigh. Tall, dark, and incredibly handsome. Every woman's dream.
“Hi,” he greeted me with a tired smile.
“Hi yourself,” I replied and scooched over, “Have a seat. You look like you could use it.”
He accepted my invitation and sat down, leaving several inches between us, “Thanks.”
I waited until he'd taken a few bites.
“How are things going out there?”
He shook his head and looked down at his sandwich, “We found bodies.”
“Oh no,” I laid my hand on his arm, “Who?”
“The Goforths.”
“All three of them?”
He nodded, “Yeah.”
“Oh god, that's terrible. Could you tell what happened?”
“We think the river rose so quickly they didn't have time to get out. Their house was washed away, apparently with them in it.”
I squeezed his arm, feeling the tension in his hard muscles. Setting aside the remains of his sandwich, he lifted the cup of coffee from the floor and took a sip.
“It makes me think about how quickly things can change,” he said quietly, “how quickly life can end. I can't help thinking about my life and what I would be leaving behind. What I'd leave undone.”
I nodded, my hand still on his arm, “That's natural.”
Then I laid my hand over his where it rested on his thigh. I didn't think about it. I just wanted to offer comfort as I had many times before. He stiffened and I immediately started to draw my hand away, but he quickly covered it with his own. Looking up I found him staring at me with an odd expression in his eyes.
“It makes me think about what I have and what I'd be giving up.”
My heart began to pound.
“Like what?” I asked breathlessly.
“Friends. People I love who love me.”
I nodded, unable to take my eyes from his.
“You have many.”
“Yes,” he agreed, then looked away and took another sip of coffee. But his hand never left mine. “I've taken so many things for granted. Never questioned their existence.”
“We all do.”
He continued on as if he didn't hear me.
“But after finding that family in those muddy waters I couldn't stop thinking about it.”
He looked back at me.
“You've been my friend since we were kids. You've never wavered in that friendship.”
I couldn't think of anything to say so I just waited, my heart fluttering wildly.
“I never considered what would happen if you were suddenly not there.”
He stared at me for a moment before collecting his plate and stood without another word. I watched him carry it and his cup to a garbage can and throw them in, then he returned to stand in front of me.
“Will you come with me for a minute?” He asked, holding out his hand.
I couldn't have refused if my life depended on it so I accepted it and allowed him to help me to my feet. He led me across the room then outside where the rain had stopped for the moment. The air was heavy and humid, making it seem warmer than it actually was, and the only light came from a few street lights. But I barely noticed.
I followed him until we were standing under a large maple at one end of the packed parking lot. There, he turned to face me then lifted my other hand.
“I thought I loved you as a sister,” he began gruffly, “You were always there somewhere nearby. I never really thought past that. Until tonight and I was suddenly forced to take stock of my life. As I did so, I began to see how large a part you have played in it. I realized just how important you are to me.”
He drew me closer until he could put his arms around me. My cheek came to rest just beneath his collar bone as I slid my hands around his trim waist and held on, unable to believe what was happening. After a moment, he lifted my face with gentle hands and gazed directly into my eyes.
“I realized that I love you as something more than a sister and I promised myself that I'd tell you, regardless of how you felt about me.”
Then he kissed me, a mere brushing of his lips, and I began to tremble with the strength of my emotions. In spite of this I couldn't help teasing him a bit.
“Someone wise called you a dolt earlier because you had never really seen me or noticed what I felt.”
He slowly shook his head and watched me closely.
“How do you feel?” he finally asked as if he were holding his breath.
I could only whisper, “As I always have.”
“And how is that?”
“I've loved you for as long as I can remember, Ben Night Horse.”
Leaning forward he rested his forehead against mine. I felt his breath against my face and I breathed it in like a benediction.
“I think I have you as well,” he told me hoarsely, “I just didn't understand it.”
We stood like that for a while before he shifted to kiss me again, his lips softening against mine and I moaned as I opened to him. Then he pulled away and once again took my face in his hands.
“I think we need to explore this further.”
I nodded, my head still spinning, “I would like that.”
“After this is over, will you go out with me?”
I nodded without hesitation then lifted my hand to caress his face.
“Yes.”
We smiled at one another for a long time before he drew me close and held me tight.
“Hang on to that thought, my love. I'll be holding you to it.”
I had never felt such joy as I hugged him back, feeling his hard body pressed to mine as I had longed for for so long. Then, with a last kiss, he led me back inside and found his sister.
“Take care of her,” he told Tamara, “until I come back.”
As he walked away I met Tamara's smiling eyes.
“Maybe,” she said, “He isn't such a dolt after all.”
Dive into an enchanting adventure! This light-hearted romance will transport you to 17th-century Scotland, where a free-spirited 21st-century heroine brings love & laughter to a stressed-out laird's life - with a little help from the Fae!
Zara’s Bois:
When the powers-that-be make the decision to return a selfish party-girl to Earth on three missions of redemption, can romance and mayhem be far behind? One hot and trendy gay nightclub, two bickering angels and three unlikely p
Watching the night outside the window, I tried not to worry about where Ben might be or what he was doing. It was the height of the rainy season and the river waters had once again risen so that residents within a half mile of its banks had been evacuated. Ben had remained behind to lend assistance as he so often did during times of crisis, despite knowing how quickly the river waters could overcome a boat searching the shore. His willingness to help others was something I took great pride in, as if he were my husband. But such was not the case.
