Yesterday's story was a little heavy, so here is a light hearted story. It is also traditional written as a fiction story. Let me know which is better?
Kat and Bob were married three years ago. It only took a year to save money for a down payment on a house. Their home was a condo set in a square. There was a common space for the four condos with an entrance to the courtyard from each condo. Two sides had outside high wooden privacy fences with gates. Each home had a small patio. There were tandem garages in the middle, splitting the homes on each side.
The layout of the interior was unique and unusual. The architect wanted access to the courtyard from both the kitchen and the master bedroom. They both saw it and fell in love with the house. Most home owners only lived their homes for about five year as they were starting a life together. There were a few homes occupied by the same couple for longer but not many.
They were both engineers. Kat was a chemical and Bob was a mechanical. She claimed Bob got the easier degree and he claimed he had a better GPA. The story of their weird week began at the beginning of this year when the topic of having children didn’t sound so scary. They were both about 50 percent scared and 50 percent optimistic at the idea. Which was a market improvement from the year before. As their desire for children overcame the fear of children, the discussion became more detailed.
When they discussed the subject three months ago, Kat was 80/20 and Bob was 70/30 in optimism over fear. Neither of them thought their attitude would change much from there and they threw caution to the wind and tried to become pregnant. A few weeks later, at the end of a cycle, it was clear it didn’t work. Being an engineer, Kat decided to look at the science of becoming pregnant. She found out that ovulation occurs anywhere between the tenth and twentieth day of her cycle. The second month of trying to become pregnant, they tried every day for 10 days straight.
At the end of her cycle, proof she was not with child. Bob noticed through her scheming that she was better than 90/10 on the optimism/fear level scale. She suggested if once a day did not work, they should try three times a day. At first, this sounded great. When Bob was a teenager, it was a fantasy to have sex all the time. After, the first day, the luster of this fantasy wears away. By the third day it became a chore. The forth day, Bob fell asleep before completing the mission.
The fifth day was Saturday and they lounged around the house all day. Kat wore shorts and T-shirt and Bob had his house pants with tank top. They achieved their third try for pregnancy in just before five in the evening. As they were getting supper ready, the phone rang and it was her friend Annaniel. Kat thinks she is fun and Bob think she is kooky. Annaniel and her husband Brady lived directly behind across the courtyard. Don’t get Bob wrong Annaniel was a caring person who will help anyone in need, but Bob thought she is Kooky.
They rushed over in a hurry. Bob thought something was wrong. When they got to her house, she informed them, her husband Brady bought her a generator for when the power goes out. Brady brought it home that afternoon and went to the ball game with customers. They lost power for an evening several weeks ago and Annaniel was without air-conditioning for the evening. She asked them to help her install it. She showed them the spot in her bedroom she had cleared for it. Between Kat’s chemistry and Bob’s mechanical degree, they had no idea how to install, but knew it cannot stay in the house.
Chuck, in the next complex over, is an electrical engineer with an electrician license for the state. Chuck had time to install and came over quickly. His going rate for doing work around other’s home is a steak dinner for him and his girlfriend. Bob purchased steaks from the local butcher and Brady purchased from an online premium store.
Chuck look at the generator and marveled because it is one of the best on the market. That is Brady, Bob quipped. Chuck went home and came back with a handful of tools and spool of wire. He asked Bob to help. He positioned the generator just outside the garage and started running the electric wires into the house. Bob climbed into the attic. The access to the attic is in the dining room of all the houses. After pulling the electric lines through to Chuck in the Master bedroom where the electric box is located, Bob climbed back down into the dining room.
Annaniel was waiting with some of her cream. Being a health nut, she had organic creams and lotions for every occasion. She started wiping Bob off. He tried to explain it was just cellulose and she exclaimed to hold still as she wiped the dust off him. She said this stuff will negate any of the effects of the insulation. She wiped down his arms, shoulder, and exposed areas of his torso. Then she proceeded to dust his clothes so she only had one spot to vacuum. As she was doing her thing, Bob was talking with Kat who was feeding Annaniel’s baby in the kitchen.
Bob was not paying attention to Annaniel when she did one of her kooky stunts. She pulled open the slot to his pants and took a peek inside. It was only a moment, but it felt like an eternity. Embarrassed, Bob turned and walked out of her house. Bob didn’t even say goodbye to Kat. Kat followed him home a few minutes later.
Kat, “Annaniel said she looked inside your pants.”
Bob said, “I was there. Your kooky friend just went weird.”
“Don’t ever leave me alone with her again,” Bob commanded.
Kat mentioned with a smile on her face, “Annaniel offered for you to see her naked.”
Bob looked incredulously at Kat and she had a smirk on her face thinking the whole thing was kind of funny. So, Bob retorted, “Fair is only fair.”
Kat rolled her eyes and knew he would be okay.
Chuck showed up about half hour later and mentioned he was looking for Bob. Bob had to go was his only reply. Chuck finished the installation except Annaniel will need to get a plumper to install the natural gas. She will do that Monday.
On Sunday, Bob only did two thirds of his job for Bob did not have the ability to do more. Monday became the irony of this weird week. During lunch one of the guys asked if Bob would like to watch the preseason Monday Night Football with them. “No, I have to get home tonight.” Another guy commented Bob been leaving every night promptly at five and the jokes and innuendos about him being a married man flew around the table.
Bob’s boss asked him later if they were trying to become pregnant. To which Bob said yes and wonder how he knew. The boss saw him wince when the jokes went around the table. He figured Bob was having problems at home or they were trying to become pregnant. He went through the same thing fifteen years ago with his son. Upon Bob asking a dumb question if it worked, he replied, “Yes, he is 14 years old.”
Bob started home at five o’clock sharp. For the entire twenty-minute trip, Bob was psyching myself up for the chore commanded of him at home. It reminded him of high school athletic program where the strength and conditioning coach pushed the players to lift more weights. Then too, Bob psyched myself to meet the expectation of his coach. However, that coach was not as lovely as his wife nor as strict in accomplishing the goals.
When Bob arrived home, Kat who did not like to cook on days she worked, had dinner almost done when Bob arrived. Without saying a word, Bob chalked it up to a performance enhancement. She had baked potatoes in the oven and green beans steaming on the stove. There were a couple of steaks resting on the counter waiting to go into a sizzling pan when ready. After dinner, when Bob thought his meal was done, she brought out a dessert. A cheesecake from his favorite restaurant. This cheesecake has a strawberry-brandy sauce that is out of this world.
Just after taking his second bite of the cheesecake, Bob realized something was wrong and asked her about it. She explained when she arrived at work this morning, she became sick and threw up her breakfast. Bob’s anxiety went to caring upon hearing this and asked if she was okay. She felt fine as soon as it was over, but decided to visit Ann the company nurse and EMT.
Ann insisted on doing a pregnancy test before prescribing anything for her upset stomach. Kat assured her that they been trying to become pregnant for the past couple months. As of a couple weeks ago she was not pregnant since she had her period. Ann asked if it was full or short and spotty. Kat admitted, it was the latter and Ann proceeded to test her. Well the stick showed positive for being pregnant. Ann explained that sometimes there can be a small period after getting pregnant, it is not that unusual. It is more likely than not, Kat was a month along in her pregnancy. Kat made an appointment with the obstetrician in two weeks and the doctor’s nurse making the appointment confirmed what Ann said they are probably month into the pregnancy.
She sat there sheepishly looking at him. Bob could only reply, “It is a good thing I love you.” Bob had never worked so hard to accomplish something that was already done. It is worse than still looking for your keys after you find them. That concluded the weirdest week Bob and Kat had ever lived through so far in his life. However, hearing stories from other men who have children, Bob supposes it will probably be surpassed by one of his kids.
This is the trade paperback edition of the mythopoeic paranormal novel recounting the attempts of one Danny Blue and his friends to come to terms with a series of unusual events in his life. A Kindle eBook edition is also available.
London: Lashed, Lacerated, Lampooned and Lambasted satirizes 18 popular Jack London novellas with adult content and language and the work is author Jay Dubya's 37th published hardcover/paperback book.
