Was he Lost in a World of His Own?

“Val, do you think that I’ll ever get better?”

“Oh Harold, sure you will. This isn’t the final episode of your life.” Val kissed her husband of 56 years on the forehead. “It’s only the beginning.” She continued to put clean sheets on his hospital bed as they talked about his pain.

“The beginning of what, Val?”

“The beginning of your new life, dear. You’re just beginning.”

“Then why do I feel so much pain? When I was born, I didn’t feel this much pain. Do you feel this much pain?” Harold was lost in his mind as to why he couldn’t go to work anymore at the age of 75. Every morning he wanted to get dressed for work.

“No, I don’t feel the same pain as you. My pain is primarily inside of me, dear. Of course, your pain is inside too, but it’s showing on the outside as well.”

“Can you see my pain?” Harold was confused. His dementia was in its final stage..

“No, I can’t see your pain. I can only feel your pain, dear.”

“Then why did you say you don’t feel the same pain as I do?”

She always answered him truthfully, but sometimes his questions didn''t have a good answer. So, she skipped some of his questions and just smiled at him.

Val had finished cleaning his bed with fresh sheets and was ready to put him back in his bed to take a nap. For a year, he spent most of his time sleeping. She always wondered what he was thinking when he wasn’t thinking about his pain.

“Val, can I have this dance with you?”

Fighting back her tears, she answered, “Harold, it would be my pleasure to dance this last dance with you. Just the way we did when we were young.”

She knew his time was ending because the hospice nurse told her it was only a matter of days. As she laid his head on the fluffed-up pillow, Harold stretched both his arms out the way they did when they danced in their younger years. She hugged him. His hands dropped slowly to his side as he fell asleep.

Val was covering him with the top sheet when she noticed he had stopped breathing.

She now knew that he was never lost. He had forgotten so many things and so many people, but he had never forgotten her. He was always dancing with her to the music.

She called the hospice nurse.