An entry into a 500 word story contest that didn't win.
Ylandra, head mage of the Folded Hand,tried to scream, but her lips had been magically bound. She tried to use her hands to get her mouth open, but they were gnarled and wouldn't function, bumping into her mouth like club heads.
Her widened eyes began to shed tears when she laid them upon the demon lord, Gahl. His large frame was made up of flowing magma and approached her menacingly. His eyes and open mouth were that of bright hot lava. He was just 20 feet away, and she could already feel the searing heat. She swiveled her head around, but she knew she was trapped. She looked down and saw that she had only rags covering the important parts.
Gahl laughed through his gnarled, black teeth as he continued to slowly approach her. "This is the end of the road, I'm afraid. There is no one left to save you, my deary." Gahl's deep, booming voice echoed in the antechamber, sending chills down Ylandra's spine.
Ylandra let out a short gasp. More tears welled up in her eyes. This wasn't how it was supposed to end. She tried to remain stoic, however, she couldn't handle the fact that evil was going to win and her eyes shed fountains of tears as she sobbed through her nose.
"I bet those tears taste so good." His body shivered, reveling in the feeling of victory. He stopped within just a few feet of her and smiled a crooked smirk as he watched the tears flow. "Don't worry, Darling, it's not going to be the end of the world. However, things will change dramatically, first with the destruction of your Alabaster Tower. No longer will anyone wield bright magic." He clenched his fist as he spoke the last sentence.
The heat was unbearable, and she could feel her skin start to blister. Her tears were evaporating and she put her clubbed hands in front of her face to protect it, but the heat seemed to penetrate through.
"This isn't the end for you either. I have a lot in store for you, my dear. But first, we must sear those memories away. No more pretty little spells for you."
Ylandra screamed through her bound mouth ending it in several sobs. Gahl's hand neared her head and she screamed from the pain of her hair melting to her head. Her scalp began to blister and she screamed several more times until she heard Gahl yell out.
"Oww. What the—" He turned his head around and his brow furrowed, "No! You're—" The pain in his back was unlike anything he had ever felt. He tried to turn towards her, but fell to his knees in pain as he reached back to assess the pain.
Ylandra let out more tears and sobbed as she looked upon Brea. She had completed her quest. In her hands, was the Bow of the North Wind. It's magical arrow was now freezing Gahl into a black statue.
I would not join a contest that limits me to writing only 500 words. I would need more words than that to express myself in writing.
In my new novel - the Kingdom of Largo - the word count of each chapter is between 3000 and 4000 words.
That's the problem! When a writer is limited to writing only 500 words to a story, it is hardly any opportunity for good writers to express themselves. Such is the case in this story.
This story reminds me of the Terminators series of movies. I've seen them all, and I can relate to your writing - the feeling of the heat and the melting.
In my opinion, this can easily be converted into an action scene by a scriptwriter if a movie is called for. It takes a Fantasy or Science Fiction fan to appreciate this story.
The limitation on the word counts had somehow done an injustice to this story. It is good! However, it could have been better.
I assume you were writing to the image? Or, the image was created after the writing. I guess either way will work. But the story, with only 500 words, doesn't work for me. I don't like superheroes although I've seen some humans with or without, prothesis do rather miraculous things like Alex Honnold free climbing El Capitan, Serena taking the grand slam multiple times, and even runners amputated below the knee with springs for feet and ankles outrunning the best sprinters.
Defeating the devil in the form of a fiery monster does not interest me.
Maria, raised in the Mafia and educated by the gangs of New York, is hunting the man who killed her Akalina, and she will kill anyone who gets in her way.
