“The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you.”
David Foster Wallace
“What the hell have I done?” I asked myself, coughing violently. “What the hell was I thinking? It was just a child's chemistry set, for heaven's sake! There's no way anything in it should have exploded like that!”
Sitting up from my prone position on the floor, I continued to cough and wave at the acrid smoke as I looked about the room. God, what a mess! I'd be cleaning for weeks!
Reaching out, I used the kitchen table to pull myself to my feet then moaned and closed my eyes as nausea roiled in my gut. I'd never fainted in my life but I felt perilously close to it now, so I pulled out a chair, sat, and put my head down on the table. I felt so strange.
After a few minutes I sat up straight. Sort of.
“Tomorrow,” I decided, “Tomorrow I'll worry about the mess. Right now I'm going to go lie down.”
I rose to my feet and made my way unsteadily to my bedroom, coughing all the way.
The incessant ringing of the doorbell woke me the next morning. It took a few moments for my brain to engage and remember where I was and what day it was. Oh crap! I was supposed to go with Madge to the flea market this morning.
Rolling stiffly out of bed, I reached for my robe and pulled it on over my nude body before making my way down the hallway to the front door, yawning all the way. As I passed the kitchen I suddenly remembered my misadventure of the night before and wondered how I was going to explain my moment of middle-age madness to keep the chemistry set I'd bought for my nine-year-old nephew for myself.
Yawning I opened the door.
Madge stood outside, admiring the pot of impatiens hanging from a hook in the porch ceiling.
“Hi, sorry I'm not ready...” I began.
She turned with a smile and started to reply. Then her face turned white, her expression went slack, she let out a blood curdling scream...and fainted dead away at my feet.
To say I was startled would be a gross understatement! Rushing forward, I knelt beside her and started patting her face,
“Madge? Madge! Madge, wake up! Madge!”
She finally started coming around and I breathed a sigh of relief.
“My hair must really be a mess to cause you to faint,” I joked, “Guess it's a good thing you're not a man or you'd be permanently impotent!”
Madge moaned and I watched as her eyes fluttered open, only to widen immediately in horror. Now I was totally baffled.
“What's wrong?” I asked and looked behind me, half expecting to find someone there. I turned back as she started trying to scuttle away. “Madge? What is wrong with you?”
“Get away from me!”
“What...?”
A second later she was on her feet, whimpering and running, and nearly falling off the steps on her way off the porch.
I stood there, stunned as I watched her disappear down the sidewalk. What the hell?
Finally, I shook my head and retreated back into my house. Closing the door slowly behind me I stared blindly into space, not knowing what to make of the whole episode, then decided just to call her in a few minutes to make sure she was okay.
Giving my head a final shake I made my way back down the hall to the bathroom. The first thing I needed to do was fix my hair if it looked that bad! I grinned wryly to myself, my humor restored, and turned on the bathroom light.
Then screamed bloody murder!
In the mirror was my robe. That was it. Just my robe. No face. No wild hair. Just a ratty pink robe. I nearly fainted myself! Instead I closed my eyes and shook my head, but when I opened them again it was still there. A free-floating ratty pink robe. I watched a sleeve rise toward the collar and again shook my head as realization hit. My God! I was invisible!
As my shock began to subside, fascination took over. How...? Then I remembered my chemistry mishap from the night before. Wow! Who knew borax could carry such a punch? My robe moved closer to the mirror as my thoughts began to race. Strangely enough, they weren't alarmed. Instead, after a moment I felt deviltry begin to dance mischievously through me. It had been a long time since I'd wanted to play! I tipped my head to one side and watched that side of the robe's collar move to accommodate it. If I wore clothes over my invisible self, shocking people would be fun for a while but then what? My grin grew. When I'd been a kid, streaking had been all the rage. Here was my chance to streak around town. And not get arrested for it!
The robe fell to the floor.
The day passed in a glory of childish glee. I'd never felt so, so free! So unencumbered from fear of scandal. Who knew how sensuous a warm breeze or a rose petal felt on bare skin? Who knew how much one learned when people didn't realize someone was close enough to hear, or see? I didn't spy intentionally, I swear! But I will admit that it did my heart good to learn good old self-righteous, holier-than-thou Bea Perkins was a kleptomaniac! Or that Carlton Templeton, who always seemed so meekly devoted to his tyrannical wife, was in truth a wolf in lamb's clothing? The man couldn't keep his eyes to himself!
The sunshine lasted to mid-afternoon before clouds started to gather and I decided that cold rain on warm skin wouldn't be such a good thing, so I began to make my way back home. I was about half way there when I felt the first drops fall, and they were as cold as I thought they would be. I started to jog as they dropped faster and faster.
Suddenly I heard the squeal of breaks followed by the unmistakable sounds of two cars colliding. Looking around I saw more cars collide and others careen off the pavement. Pedestrians seemed frozen in place, and I slowly realized everyone was staring in my direction.
Glancing around I couldn't see anything of interest behind me, then I looked beyond the group of giggling teenagers across the street to the front of Madame Jules Retro Boutique. There, reflected in the sparkling clean glass, was my own nude self, wild hair and all!
No one would ever have accused me of being an athlete but I swear I made it back to my house in better than Olympic time! I raced up the steps onto the porch faster than Madge had raced down them that morning and the doorknob punctured the wall when I bodily hit the door. I don't remember ever touching the knob!
Seconds later I confronted the truth in my bathroom mirror as I stared at my reflection. Who knew you could still get sunburned while you're invisible?
I love the playful nature of this. And, the unique opportunity that speculating about being invisible might bring. I think the devil would make most of us do it. ;-)
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“What the hell have I done?” I asked myself, coughing violently. “What the hell was I thinking? It was just a child's chemistry set, for heaven's sake! There's no way anything in it should have exploded like that!”
