Mr Johnsson is down in a mental abyss, when a rock change his life.
Haven’t you done anything today? Only played video games?
Is she blind or just ignorant? Mr Johnsson cleaned the house, did the dishes and made dinner. He has taken care of their children. They were out in the park, playing in the Playground for a few hours. Mr Johnsson was away for three hours grocery shopping too. He just happened to sit down after a long day and relax, playing one of his favorite games when Mrs Johnsson came home from work and immediately she started nagging and criticising him.
Is this something that just happens now and then? No, unfortunately not. This is how it is several times a week. Sometimes every day. It doesn’t matter how much Mr Johnsson does, it is never enough. If he just happens to do something for himself sometimes, he is egoistic and doesn't care about her.
When something is wrong or broken, Mr Johnsson usually has a solution for the problem. What do you think now? Why do you think that? Always! He gives up and they, or rather she, asks an expert on whatever matter it is, and often they say what Mr Johnsson just said. Thank you, now we know what to do. Etc etc. The Johnssons do as recommended, the same solution that Mr Johnsson proposed, but she never recognized it. Never. So he stopped trying, why should he?
If they are going to do something, rent a movie, go on a weekend trip or whatever. She asks him what he wants and he tells her. Why do you want that? Why do you think that? Why, why, how, when… He gives up and she always gets what she wants. When he is notably disappointed she asks him why. We discussed this and agreed we wanted this. Yeah right! He doesn't answer. Months and years go by and Mr Johnsson didn't realise that he had completely stopped trying. He never says what he wants to do but agrees with her. And we have decided. Everytime, no exception.
He often asks himself why he married her. The signs were there from the start, but he ignored them. But Mr Johnsson knows why, deep inside. He was, and still are to some extent, shy. Dating didn't work for him, if he actually managed to get a date, it didn't take long before he got told: You are nice and kind and a really good guy, but… Always that but. He did have sex now and then, although very scarce. Almost always drunk, with a drunk woman from a bar or a party.
Then Mfr Johnsson found her. In a club, drunk, ending up in his apartment. But as a change she actually wanted to start dating, so they did. He saw the signs but ignored them. He found someone that wanted to be with him and that was more important than what he actually felt about her. It ended up with marriage and a ten years long relationship is quite amazing.
It sort of worked as long as Mr Johnsson worked as a seaman, being away four to six months every year. When he got home he was told that he destroyed her routines every time he got home. Mr Johnsson felt like a satellite, hovering out in space above his family.
When Mr Johnsson was home he was like a house wife. He did just about everything. Dishes, childcare, cleaning, laundry, shopping, cooking. He cooked so much food so she had boxes in the freezer during the time he was out working. Mrs Johnsson didn't have to cook even then. But he was selfish and egoistic when he wanted to do something for himself. Even as little as playing Xbox for an hour or two a few times a week.
Sex, yes they had sex. She is receiving, he giving, never trying something new, always the same. It faded out to one or a few times a week rather quickly. IMr Johnsson fantasized about hotter scenarios and other women every time.
Mr Johnsson often thought to himself why he stayed. They had children and they are the priority. That is what most people said.
Mr johnsson went on for years and it broke him down bit by bit and then came the final blow. He stopped working as a seaman and started working ashore. Now they live together every day and he never gets time away from the nagging. It broke him down faster and faster and one day he realised he didn't know what he wanted anymore.
On his way to work Mr Johnsson passed by a big rock. He started thinking about driving into it at full speed, taking his life. Many times he thought to himself, is this the day he will do it? He never did. But that rock did something else to him. It made him understand how bad he felt and how far it had gone.
That rock changed his life. He started to think about what he could do with his life and soon realised that everyone was wrong. You cannot stay in a miserable marriage for your children. Better to be happy alone than miserable together was the major realization and after that thought got into his head the divorce was not far away. A few days before Christmas was the time he told her. After that there was no turning back.
Life didn't get better after the divorce, it got worse. They argued like never before and she did everything she could to put all blame on him. And he took the blame. That rock, on the way to work, looked more inviting than ever. But he wanted to live more than he wanted to die, so he never tried. Until this day, the only one he has told about his plans with that rock is his current wife. She is everything his ex wife wasn't. Mr Johnsson doesn't think he has loved and trusted anyone else as much as her. Of course he loves his kids over anything else, but that is another kind of love.
Mr Johnsson met a woman during that time after the divorce and had a real crush on her. He being desperate and lost after those years of marriage probably made him far more clingy than he normally is. That it scared her and made her uncomfortable wasn't something he understood then but does now.
She sent out mixed signals, sometimes she seemed very interested just to turn and be distant. That was very confusing and made Mr Johnsson more uncertain and clingy. It was a bad spiral.
But that started to change when he met another woman at a party. She was very beautiful and what he normally would consider way out of his league. They ended up in bed together and had a rematch a few weeks later. She was clear that she didn't want a relationship with a newly divorced man. She had tried that a few times and it never worked out. It was fine with Mr Johnsson and he accepted that. What she gave him was far more important than a relationship.
She gave Mr Johnsson his confidence and self esteem back.
The situation with was ex-wife was better, but not good. That was mainly due to the fact that he had once again surrendered and didn't have energy to fight her.
She was very good at finding his weak spots and stabbing her knife there. But it wasn't as bad as when they lived together. Living on his own, he could just pretend to agree when she called and told him everything that he had done wrong that time. When they hung up he could shake it off like a goose shaking the water off its feathers.
It was a tough one and a half year, with too much partying and drinking but then one day something amazing happened. Mr Johnsson was going to a party at a friend's apartment. You know that woman he had a crush on. Mr Johnsson told one of his colleagues on Friday, when she asked if there would be any single women there, that women are only good for one thing. How wrong he was. When she, Mr Johnssons current wife, came into the apartment he just melted. She was so beautiful and it was like she was glowing.
The story will stop here, Mr Johnssons life took a dramatic turn for the better and he has had the best ten years of his life together with her. Looking forward to growing old together.
But his change for the better started with that rock, on his way to work.
I met Jerome on a busy city street in Baltimore, Maryland, when he was forty-five years old. On that particular day, I was out and about, enjoying a much-needed day off from work.
I wanted to purchase a sukiyaki sub. I parked my car in an area of
Haven’t you done anything today? Only played video games?
