Who knows what it feels like to be lonely? Imagine spending most of your time alone without anyone special to share your thoughts, feelings and dreams with. This is the story of such a person. His name was Oscar Mindell and in the end, perhaps his luck will change.
It was a cold blustery day in the small town of Tucksville. Oscar was running late for his appointment. His alarm clock was on the brink and it seemed to have a mind of its own.
"Freakin clock never works when I need it to," Oscar mumbled angrily as he scurried off to the wash room.
He lived with his father who was around 60 years of age with a white beard that was reminiscent of Santa Claus. Mr. Mindell was a Preacher in the local church. He spent most of his time reading the Bible in order to prepare sermons.
"Oscar! Dammit, boy you couldn't be on time if the last woman in town was offering cherry delights could you?"
His father's words cut through Oscar like a hot knife.
Oscar lashed out in his room as he rushed along to get dressed,
"Why don't the ole man just read his Bible and shut up?" Oscar was tying his shoe, seated at the foot of his bed and he did not expect that his father would hear the comment, but his father had managed to silently get upstairs and he was standing in Oscar's doorway.
"What did you say boy?" he asked in a belligerent tone with his hands folded sternly across his chest.
"Nothing Pop," responded Oscar embarrassed that he did not have the courage to stand up to his dad after 35 years of insults about everything from A to Z.
"Watch your mouth boy or I will knock you out of my house!" Mr. Mindell's eyes squinted as he made the proclamation hoping that Oscar would see that he was not kidding.
Oscar and his father often went through this ritual whenever Mr. Mindell became angry.
Oscar sighed and paused as he stood from the bed. He looked over at his father in the doorway nodded and forced a smile. He wanted nothing more than to one day have his own place so that he would not have to deal with his father everyday.
Next, Oscar grabbed his keys and coat from the closet as his father turned away from the doorway and defiantly walked off.
As he pulled his keys from the shelf of his closet, a small snapshot of a girl he met 5 years ago fell to the floor. Her name was Carmen. Oscar met her at a town carnival where he worked as the roller coaster attendant.
As he reached for the photo lying face up on the floor, passionate heat came over him.
He remembered her soft curly brown hair, perky breasts, deep green eyes and pouty red lips. Her mouth was similar to the Betty Boob caricature that was a sex symbol of yesteryear.
And the imagined smell of her perfume brought a smile to his face as he studied the photo more intensely. Oh how he dreamed of making passionate love to this brown-haired dream who had entered into his life and left after the first spin on the roller coaster.
The day he met her at the carnival, he immediately fell in love. He remembers the red halter-top that exposed her navel ring and the snug shorts that fit perfectly in all the right places. How Oscar longed to be with this woman who was now only a fragment of his imagination.
"Oscar!" get the hell out of here now boy! and get to that job," yelled his father from the bathroom which was adjacent to Oscar's room.
Oscar was startled by the piercing voice of his father and did not want his father to see him fantasizing over a faded photo of a girl he saw only once 5 years ago.
Quickly, Oscars placed the photo in his coat pocket, rushed down the stairs and out of the house.
Oscar had a difficult childhood.
He was considered a nerd throughout middle school. He never had a date in high school. The one girl that told him she was attracted to him was soon scorned by her friends after they found out she liked an “other.”
They made jokes about diseases she might catch if she got too close to him. Oscar liked her too, she was very cute, but he did not pursue her because he was so inexperienced and he did not want her friends to continue making her life miserable.
Oscar let her down roughly by being mean to her, but deep down he did not want to hurt her. His young mind reasoned that she would eventually give in to the taunts from her friends and find someone better than he. Oscar did not want to get hurt and he cried for weeks after he pushed her out of his life.
During his senior year of high school, Oscar became a good athlete. To overcome his nerdiness he lifted weights profusely. His weight went from a frail 125 pounds on his 5’10” frame to 195 pounds with heavy training and wholesome eating. He eventually earned a letter on the varsity football team and was pursued by several colleges.
However, he did not have parental support and his chances of playing college ball faded away. Oscar’s father was always so attached to the Bible; he hardly noticed that his son had the ability to do anything except be a failure.
After high school, Oscar drifted through life. He did not have any direction nor was there anyone available to mentor him. He spent the next 17 years of his life working laborious, menial jobs and dreaming of the days when he was somebody.
Oscar was going through a severe psychological crisis because he had no idea who he was or what he really wanted to do in life.
Now he was a grown man still living with his hyper-religious daddy. He owned nothing and he was all-alone---especially within the presence of his aloof father.
Oscar resented his dad because he is convinced that his father's alcoholism drove his mother away 12 years ago.
His mother, 10 years younger than his father, never seemed to appreciate the life-style she lived with Mr. Mindell. There was never enough money. Her family denounced the relationship because she was Jewish and Mr. Mindell was a devout Baptist.
And Mr. Mindell was always reciting Bible verses whenever he felt the need to regain control over his wife. During one of the many, many arguments between Mr. and Mrs. Mindell, Oscar recalled his father breaking a glass at the dinner table after Mrs. Mindell refused to re-heat his supper.
It did not take much to anger Mr. Mindell. He had a hot-temper. And the angrier he became, the more he turned to the bottle for solace. After 15 years of tension, Mrs. Mindell left her husband and returned to her home state of Chicago.
Oscar was 24 years of age when his mother walked out on his father.
It was early Saturday morning. Oscar remembered the cabby beeping the horn as if he were playing a concert honoring Bach in C major.
He never recovered from the scene of watching his mother walk out the door carrying one suitcase and a handbag filled with her collection of Raggedy-Ann dolls.
Mrs. Mindell always had kind words for Oscar, but she did not have the courage to stand up to Mr. Mindell. And she seemed worn out from many years of mental abuse.
Before she left, Oscar remembers the hug she gave him and the tears streaming down her face. Her brown eyes appeared lifeless. Mrs. Mindell had had enough. She reminded Oscar she would call for him when she got settled in Chicago. He never heard from her again.
Oscar remained in deep thought about his past as he hurried down the main streets of Tucksville to make his bus, which was scheduled to leave at 8:59 A.M.
The rush-hour traffic with beeping horns and aggressive drivers brought him back to his immediate reality.
He glanced down at his watch. Oscar’s watch looked as if it had really taken a licking, yet somehow it kept on ticking. The time read 8:53 and Oscar still had to cover three long blocks.
At the intersection, just as he began to run to his bus…“Excuse me sir,” mumbled the motorist as he attempted to get Oscar’s attention. “Do you know where Mermaid Lane is?” The driver was a middle-aged man with a thin and neatly trimmed mustache.
His car got Oscar’s attention because it was the kind Oscar wanted. It was shinny-red with chrome wheels and it was all over the billboards and the commercials in the small town.
“Um, yea…yes,” Oscar was at a loss for words partly because he was thinking about his past, running late for his job interview and fantasizing about how the girls would swoon over him if he drove a car like the lost motorist had. “Go three blocks south and make a left at the 3rd traffic light,” Oscar told the motorist with confidence as he pointed to his watch.
He was slightly out of breath from reflective thoughts of his life and the directions he gave to the motorist.
Oscar wondered if the driver could tell how much he loved his car. He did not want to seem so obvious.
The driver sped off without acknowledging Oscar’s assistance. “Not even a thank you, Oscar thought to himself what a piece of shit that guy was,” Oscar watched the car until it was out of view.
But he soon got over feeling insulted by the driver who was obviously suffering a mid-life crisis.
Besides Oscar had grown accustomed to let downs. That was the story of his life. No friends. No family. No respect. And what was most hurtful to Oscar was that there was no woman in his life.
He was lost like a ship at sea. A man full of potential, but lacking direction. His life always seemed to be a day late and a dollar short.
Oscar arrived at the bus depot where his bus idled. The time was now 8:58:54 according to his Timex.
It was cold outside on this day and Oscar was happy that he reached the bus stop just before it departed. The next bus would not leave for fifty-one minutes and it was too cold to stand there waiting in alone until the next bus arrived.
Oscar knew that had already missed far too many in his life.
He smiled as he looked through icy window on the bus.
The bitter words from his father and all the discomforts of life stopped racing through his mind. Oscar was on the bus and riding onward with new determination.
Although today started as an old day, Oscar felt a new beginning.
