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thoughts life of a suicide
authorhouse
Category:
Biography
Publisher: authourhouse
ISBN-10: 1438921861
Type: Non-Fiction
Pages: 143
Copyright: January 2009
ISBN-13: 9781438921860
Thoughts: Life of a Suicide
Dillan Kane
AuthorHouse (2009)
ISBN 9781438921860
Reviewed by Carol Hoyer, PhD, for Reader Views (5/09)
Author Dillan Kane’s book is one of the most incredible books I have read on suicide. His brother
killed himself at the age of 16. Like most persons who have experienced this, the author is trying to
understand why such a thing could happen.
He begins his book with ‘Commonalities of Suicide’ that have helped him try to understand a
suicidal person better. He shares the story of his own brother and many others he has worked with
that have attempted or completed suicide. When you read this book, it will be just like you were
having a conversation with the author. He provides much in-depth knowledge about depression,
suicidal thoughts and the healing process.
During this conversation with readers, Kane talks about how individuals who feel lost and hopeless
can’t work out their problems and often don’t seek the help of others. He also addresses how those
who are left behind feel hurt and anger- why didn’t they see what was happening? Many of us have
looked back as the author did and realized there were signs, but we couldn’t believe that someone
would deal with problems in that way.
The last chapter in the book addresses life after death. As the author states, depending on your
beliefs and spiritual thoughts, we all have different views on this.
“Thoughts: Life of a Suicide” by Dillan Kane is a very moving and thoughtful look at why suicide
happens with a lot of great information on signs to look for. As a Psychology instructor for several
colleges, this is a book I recommended to my students to read and share with others
Thoughts" chronicles moments of your experience over a period of time,paying special attention to certain social,emotional, and spiritual considerations normally associated with suicide. You consider the people and instances seemingly influencing your perspective over time,highlighting qualities relating to identity,determination and love in various forms. Juxtaposing personal observation and research,you also explore the relative complexities of human nature and interaction.
You begin by citing a particular study and identifying "some common behavioral or warning signs of suicide" such as "loss of health(real or imaginary)," "alcohol or drug abuse," and "depression". While death may be viewed as "a way out of a current situation or a way out of future situations for the suicidal person," you point out the level of "stress and strain" that might cloud a person's "choices." Drawing upon your own experience of your"brother's ending of his life" and of your father's "battle" against cancer,you note,"that process of trying to seek answers to what happened was intertwined with seeking closure with the funeral." For you suicide creates a boundary between the answers and the questions that can leave everything in a holding pattern,where things remain where they ended or in just retaining the memories of what was or could have been. Over a period of time your working with individuals who have mental illness seems to have furnished a degree of comprehension,as you point out,"when the pain exceeds the coping skills, the balance is out of whack and the risk of suicide is greater."
Additional pages of "Thoughts" recount some of your "conclusions so far" emphasizing your belief that "life can be rough" and" seem to go in cycles with the ups and downs along the way." Among closing comments you note," We are all important and connected in ways we may not even recognize. Take the time to let others know how important they are to you for who they are." Overall your offering is designed to mark phases of your own journey as well as to enlighten and provoke thought for the reader who might express an interest in a related idea.
| The main intent of this book is for suicide prevention. It's story about my brother who committed suicide when he was sixteen and an assortment of suicides and attempts while working in the mental health system. One area of suicide prevention that is often overlooked is what happens to a suicidal person, if there was such a thing as an afterlife. Part of my story entails that and just trying to understand the impulses of suicide. What thoughts go into creating the impulses of a suicide, and how it affects those left behind. |
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Excerpt
That's when it first made it real for me, it was just like Jason if he would of been there. He still had the personality, the feelings and emotions that Jason would of had. At first I knew he wouldn't of wanted to talk to me if he was "alive" Why wouldn't that be the case, wouldn't he have to start at where he was, just like I had to start out with at that moment in time. He still had feelings and emotions of being angry, frustrated and confused. He talked about some angry feelings toward my Dad, some feelings of how Mom had been trying to get into his space, or always commenting they didn't have money for this or that. He wasn't trying to blame anyone for his actions but thoughts in his mind were scattered and he had to place himself back into those last moments of time and try to put the pieces together and felt a need try to defend what had happened. It was described like trying to put together shattered glass. Things were fragmented in his mind still.
He still had some of his humor, commenting or asking me why I was hiding. The medium described my position in the basement in which I was more or less in a hiding position because I didn't want to be disturbed during the reading or found out I was trying to talk to the dead. It was put in a humorous way with my brothers' personality. I knew then my brother was okay but he was dealing with the emotions and had to deal with the thoughts of his physical death. He said it was just like school. He didn't like to go to school, he would rather be out playing, but had to be in a place like school or where he had to look at his life. He had work to do. He said your mad at me, but I felt like that all of my life. He wasn't really angry all of his life but those were the emotions that were running at the time from him. He had a hard time wanting to connect to me because as he phrased it ,I don't want you to think of me as a loser. Those words hit me in the heart because that would of been what Jason would of said and I could feel that. It wasn't something I was thinking but I knew it would of been something Jason would of been thinking. Jason brought up how he had looked up to me as kind of a father figure. I was quite a bit older of him and he had looked up to me as an older brother or fatherly figure. That is something that I knew on some level but didn't really think about much or Jason and I didn't talk about until these moments. It was like being able to talk about issues that mattered even through he wasn't here anymore, at least in the physical. These are some of the moments that I would of liked of been able to talk to Jason. To connect more to him and know what Jason had been feeling and thinking. I had felt that connection but never was able to really discuss things with him. Those quick brief moments of talking on the phone with a stranger that never truly knew the impact of the words spoken. I asked the reader how I could let him know I hadn't or didn't think of him as a loser and she said you just did, he can hear and feel you. I could just feel his presence in the room within that moment and the impact of being able to say those words and a knowing that he had heard me is a feeling that stays with me. I wish in life I was able to have more of these talks with him. He mentioned he had always felt a good connection with me, where you just look at each and know what the other was thinking without having to talk, just that glance of the eyes or catching the humor in something alike that maybe others didn't get.
But I didn't get to be around him like same age siblings, I was sixteen years older than him and already out of the house
Dillan Kane gives his own account of his brother's suicide at the age of 16. He talks about memories with his brother, his own feelings and fears, as well as the impact it had on his own life.
Far too often, as in this case, suicide is overlooked. In hindsight all the signs were there but when in the moment the signs become invisible.
While reading and after completion of this book, I had to personally take a long and hard look at suicide. I've known people that committed suicide and looking back at their lives prior to the act the signs were there. They wanted a way out of their current situation and the only way they felt they could do it is through death.
I encourage you to read this book. If you know someone that commitment suicide it will give you more insight as to what led him or her to the final decision. If you don't, then I encourage you to read it anyway. The information and knowledge presented may be the catalyst for you to see the warning signs of someone you do know that is contemplating ending the present life.
Reviewed on 08/12/2010 by ReviewTheBook.com Member Irene Watson
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