Kindle Edition Download to your Nook (eBook) Amazon Amazon.co.uk Category:  Young Adult/Teen Publisher: Hetman Publishing ISBN-10:  0956159249 Type: Fiction Pages: 84 Copyright: 11 Feb 2010 ISBN-13: 9780956159243 Morris Kemp was a 'normal' fifteen year old schoolboy until he discovered Time Travel 'The Adventures of a Teenage Time Traveller' is a time travel comedy staring Morris Kemp, who thought he was a 'normal' fifteen year old schoolboy. Whilst on his 'boring' work experience as a Double Glazing Salesmen Morris and his mentor, Huxley Scragge, are given magic beans by a customer as a form of payment. The beans are actually time travel pods and Morris is suddenly thrown back in time to the Shakespearian age where he must find a way to help 'Willamina' Shakespeare complete her latest play before returning once more to the twenty first century. However things go wrong and he becomes trapped in time..... In addition to Willamina Shakespeare and Queen Elizabeth I, Morris encounters the President of Europe (in the 2650), Alien Security Guards, an Assassin/Hairdresser and the entire Royal Family of Atlantis. Excerpt “This Shakespeare stuff is all about Double Glazing, ‘Content your pains’, see? Act two, scene one.” PROLOGUE. I. K. Brunel High School, Worthing Morris Kemp was an unremarkable school boy. In fact there was nothing at all remarkable about Morris. He was average height, of average looks and even according to his school report of average intelligence. In a word, he appeared to be in fact ‘unremarkable’. However what did make Morris remarkable was what was about to happen to him. The sun seemed to snigger at Morris as he sat in the school science lab. Rays shone through the sealed windows so fiercely that, in his view, the room had turned from a lab into greenhouse and he had become a ripe tomato. Mr Moresden, oblivious to the heat, read on un-dramatically from a science text book entitled ‘The Joy of Chemistry’ about Valeant and co-Valeant bonds or something else that Morris didn’t understand. Morris fought to keep his eyes open. It was on days like these that he cursed the government for insisting that: a) All children should attend school, and b) All children must follow a course of study in science. He hated science. Always had and always would. It wasn’t that he did not like enjoying the benefits of science such as his PS3 and McDonalds – no, it was just that learning about it was so boring. Once he’d been instructed to make shaving foam and had ended up with washing up liquid. No science was not for him. Mr Moresden put down the text book and removed his glasses. “Please copy this from the white board.” He turned and in doing so raised his right arm. There were sniggers from several pupils at the large wet patch that spread out from his armpit. Morris wrinkled up his nose and said nothing. Forty agonising minutes later the bell sounded and there was a mad rush for the door as the class tried to leave the room as quickly as possible. Morris headed out of the science block and made for his tutor room in the music department. He was allowed by his form tutor to eat his sandwiches inside, a rare privilege and one he had earned for offering to get the register twice daily. He sat at his usual table and bit into a salami roll. “Ah, young Kemp!” Mr Claxton wore a wide smile beneath his untidy beard. “Just the man I wanted to see.” “Oh.” Morris was instantly worried. “Do not fret dear boy, you’ve done nothing wrong.” Claxton handed him a piece of yellow paper. “Read, read.” Morris put his roll back in his lunchbox and looked at the sheet. “Work Experience Placement. You have been placed with Longman & Short for your two week work experience placement.” He looked up at the still grinning Claxton underwhelmed. “Wow.” Claxton nodded. “I thought you’d like that.” His voice showed no hint of sarcasm. Morris read on. “Double Glazing….Windows? They sell windows?” “I know you said that you were looking for something to do with design, but this was the closest we could get. Just think, you’ll be able to help people design the look of their houses!” He turned to leave the room before saying over his shoulder, “if anyone wants me I’ll be in the staffroom.” Morris finished his roll. Work experience was two weeks out of school with the highly amusing aim of giving fifteen year olds ‘experience’ of the work place. Students who could not arrange their own placements were sent to one of the school’s ‘insurance’ companies, which incidentally did not include an insurance company, but did include a local garage, a pet shop, a bank, the hospital and Longman & Short.

Funniest Book I've read in ages!!!
I bought this book for a friend's teenage son but ended up reading it myself! It is an easy and quick read, very original and pantomic in it's humour. There are jokes that both pre-teens and teens will enjoy as well as those for the older reader. I laughed out loud at some parts and groaned at others. If you want cheering up buy this book.

Funny and helps with GCSE English!!! Watch out Doctor Who!
I added this to my Kindle for my daughter to read on holiday. She thought it was `for boys' but read it anyway, and loved it. There are many references to Shakespeare plays so it even helped her with her GCSE English. I read it too and it is a bit like Douglas Adams meets Monty Python meets Blackadder. It is basically about a schoolboy who inadvertently travels through time selling double glazing, sounds mad? Yes and it is. A good bit of fun and worth a read. Doctor Who is now not the only `comic time traveller'.