Joey Turner, a mentally challenged young man, inadvertently witnesses the murder of his roommate in the Crawford Care Center where he lives. Scared for his own safety, he goes on the run. The care center sends a security team to bring him back because he knows too much and he must be silenced. Joey manages to elude capture for some time, but the men sent to find him are closing in fast…
At a nearby high school, the body of a young girl is found in the bushes, stunning the community. Prompted by an unproductive police investigation, Marc Andrus and Chad Murphy, classmates of the murder victim, begin an investigation of their own. Their efforts eventually lead them to the Crawford Care Center, but before they can gather enough evidence to satisfy the police, their main suspect turns up dead. Now they must dig even deeper to find the truth behind the murders and they must act fast because the next victim has already been chosen.
Excerpt
...She slipped through the opening and began crawling along the ground. She knew she had to stand and run, but her strength was almost completely spent. Suddenly, a cluster of bright lights flooded the area, temporarily blinding her. She covered her eyes with her hand to protect against the sudden glare. When she was able to focus again, she saw that Wells was only twenty feet from her, running at full speed. He had turned on the lights and seen her immediately.
The sight of Wells coming at her restored some energy and she struggled to her feet.
The rain continued to fall, making it difficult to see where she was going. She gathered her wits and began to run. She didn't know where she was going, she only knew she had to get away from him. She stumbled across the uneven ground, and then found herself running across the smooth concrete of the patio and barbecue area, her sock sloshing with every step. She headed for the trees behind the house, hoping to lose Wells in the darkness. She could feel him getting closer with each step.
She reached the end of the patio and Jumped down onto the rain-soaked ground. Once her feet hit the mud, she no longer had any traction. She took two steps then felt herself falling. She held her hands out in front of her to try to brace herself against the impact. As she splashed face down into a large puddle, she realized that she had fallen into a good-sized hole. It was about three feet deep and was filled with six inches of rainwater. She turned expecting wells to jump down onto to her any second, but was surprised to see that he had given up the chase.
She wasted no time in wondering why he had quit. She struggled to her feet and began clawing at the sides of the hole. As she did so, the walls began caving in around her. She watched as the mud slid down into the water. She squinted her eyes and saw that a tree root was slowing emerging from the wall of mud. She hoped if she could get a hold of it, she could use it to pull herself out of the hole.
She gripped the root with both hands and began lifting herself up. As she did so, one end of the root came loose almost hitting her in the face. She fell back into the water with a disheartening splash. She immediately got back to her feet and went for the root again. As she reached for it, she noticed that it wasn't a root at all. The pale gray object protruding from the mud had a hand on the end of it--a hand with only a thumb and a pinky finger. She screamed as she recognized the deformed hand of Nancy Burke; the hand she had shaken in greeting and congratulations just the night before.
Janey's scream ended suddenly as she felt herself failing back into the puddle and into shock. She was barely aware of the rain that pelted her face, or of the thunder that rumbled menacingly around her. She made no attempt at resistance when a pair of hands grabbed her under her arms and lifted her out of the hole.
Paul: Excellent writing, very well done. The tension & suspense are palpable. I'm impressed & hope to add this one to my "to read" list.
Reviewed by Lou Ma
7/29/2003
The excerpt from your "Final Breath" left me breathless and ready for more. Great flow-the reader can really feel the girl's terror. Can hardly wait for more!
Your narrative voice is compelling and the dialogue flows so naturally. The preview was a pleasure to read even though it was filled with suspenseful tension. I look forward to reading more!
Reviewed by M. Toone
12/19/2002
Chilling. A nightmare come to life. This promises to be a best seller murder mystery! I could feel the terror and shock of her discovery.
Reviewed by Renee Bagley
12/9/2002
The synopsis sounds sounds wonderful, strong suspense story, I look forward to reading all of this book!!
Each sentence rolls nicely. I love your style. Short descriptive sentences. One WANTS to read the next one! Nice suspense building too! Sounds like a possible best seller.
Good luck and write on!
GUS