Everyone gets fired at least once in their life. And if not, well, they're just not trying very hard. And we all think of brilliant and immature 'shoulda saids' and 'shoulda dones' for weeks after. (Okay, years.)
In this collection of loosely related stories, Brett shows again and again that getting fired is really quite easy.
“Ya made me snort root beer out my nose!” – Moriah Jovan, The Proviso
“Sharp and pointy.” – Peg Tittle, What If…
Available in Kindle* and on Smashwords(for the price of a box of crackers)
Also available in print at Amazon(for under ten bucks)
Excerpt
Spunky Doo was running ahead and back, barking at the waves. Little Miss was walking on the other side of me, careful not to get her tootsies wet, lifting them higher than was really necessary. And Hunk. Hunk was a surprise. I don't think Dobermans are known for their swimming ability. And suddenly he was out there, howling, and yipping, and squealing, and splashing at the surface with his huge paws, having the time of his life, and gulping water - oh my god, was he drowning? I looked at Chum, who, as part lab, was our designated Lifeguard. Until this moment, he had been repeatedly plowing through the waves with masterful and determined strokes after his soggy and increasingly forlorn beach ball. But upon hearing Hunk, he stopped, looked, and listened. And then resumed plowing through the waves with masterful and determined strokes. After his soggy and increasingly forlorn beach ball. Okay then. Little Miss had also looked to Chum. She understood he was not concerned, but she wasn't entirely convinced. She kept her eye on Hunk as she walked beside me.
Apparently Spunky Doo didn't get the memo. He dove into the water after Hunk. Whether he intended to rescue him or whether he just thought he'd join in the goofiness, we'll never know. We do know that once Spunky Doo reached Hunk, the rescue situation had to be reassessed. Again Chum stopped, looked, and listened. I looked at Chum. As did Little Miss. Even Snookums paused. (Kessie used the moment to put her ball securely into my hand.) But by then Hunk had extricated himself from Spunky Doo and had struggled ashore, muttering. ("Dumb ass dog," no doubt.)
Professional Reviews
Hysterical!
“HYSTERICAL! I'm so glad I was able to read this book. There are really no words to describe how funny this book is. I loved reading about someone else’s experiences in the work force. I was beginning to think I was the only person absurd things happened to. I enjoyed how the chapters were labeled by type of job, I really looked forward to reading the chapters about types of jobs I've had. It made it funnier being able to relate to the stories (sales was my favorite!). Really excellent book.” – Alison, www.goodreads.com
Runniest thing I've ever read
If you want some droll (adult) humor, go buy this. Seriously. It’s the funniest thing I’ve read this year, and I’m not sure, but it may be the funniest thing I’ve ever read, period.
My Chaotic Ramblings Blog
First, let me just say I was glad I was not drinking anything while reading this. I refrained from that. My husband said he never heard me laugh so much from reading a book. At one point, I was literally in tears.
Jass Richards is brilliant with the snappy comebacks and the unending fountain of information she can spout forth. And I do mean that quite literally… the spouting part.
Jass takes you from job to job, from the psych halfway house, where her absolute sense of logic helps more patients than the people trained to work there, to the maintenance of a summer camp, where the woman weaves in and out of the kids, dancing, saying, “I don’t have to deal with you! I don’t have to deal with you!”
The quick wit, the sharp tongue, the acid words and sarcasm that literally oozes from her pores… beautiful. I laughed so hard I cried in some places. I do admit, there were a few parts where I got just a little lost, (sort of like when she traveled in Europe) but quickly regained my bearings as I read on.
Would I recommend this book? Do dogs have squeaky mice and bright green tennis balls? Yes. Yes they do. So yes, I would definitely tell you to read this book if you want a fun romp, a good laugh and a couple of pointers on how to get let go of a job you can no longer stand. You can get fired with style.
