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Category:
Mystery/Suspense
Publisher: KDP
ISBN-10: 137005128X
Type: Fiction
Pages: 24
Copyright: Jan 21, 2017
ISBN-13: 9781370051281
Price: $0.99 (eBook)
Straight out of the Cold War comes this hard-hitting tale about a hard-fisted, hard-nosed private eye who bashes commies and saves America -- the land of the free and the home of the hard!
The Russians are out to steal America's space secrets, but they haven't reckoned with Brass Bannem. Whether he's facing KGB agents, pinko college students, commie librarians or phony pastors, Brass Bannem is more than a match for all of them, and with the help of FBI agent Throb Drubbins he's sure to save the day.
Excerpt
A couple of scrawny college boys were sitting at a table on the left side of the room, toking pointy cigarettes. They wore black T-shirts emblazoned with the scruffy likeness of Che Guevara and were poring over the latest issue of Granma – which was not filled with heartwarming stories about somebody’s grandmother; it was named after the yacht that brought Castro and his followers back to Cuba on the eve of the revolution.
“Can I help you?” the woman said as Bannem approached the counter.
He held up the little red book. “This was checked out by a guy named Crimley Stone. I need to find him. Can you help me?”
“Who are you?”
“Bannem. Brass Bannem.” He showed his ID. “I’m a private investigator.”
“I don’t like investigators. Get out.”
“Would you rather be grilled by the FBI?”
“I won’t talk to them either.”
“It’s your duty as an American citizen to...”
“I’m a citizen of the world. Now kindly leave my establishment.”
“Nah, I think I’ll stick around.”
She spun around. “Lester? Dalton? I need some muscle over here!”
The two potheads set down their newspapers, stood up and walked toward the counter.
“What’s the problem, Lucillia?” the taller boy said.
“This guy’s been leaning on me,” she said, “trying to get me to fink on a comrade. I want him gone. Now.”
The two fairies fluttered toward Bannem.
“You heard the lady,” the tall one said.
“Buzz off, sissy-boys,” Bannem said.
The shorter boy put his hand on Bannem’s arm. “The lady said leave.”
“Get your pinko paws off me,” Bannem snarled.
The punk smirked. “Come on, old man. Don’t make it tough on yourself. There’s two of us and one of you. Do the math.”
Bannem threw a left jab at the punk’s mouth, smashing his joint -- and his lips – and followed up with a haymaker. The punk fell to the floor, out like a light, and before the other punk could react, Bannem nailed him with an uppercut, launching his joint into the air like a little rocket ship as the punk collapsed in a heap at Bannem’s feet.
The private eye put his hands on his hips. “Do the math, huh? Lemme see. Two sissies divided by one real man equals a pair of zeroes.”
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