Category: Humor Publisher: Luis Mario
ISBN-10: 9781466418868
Type: Fiction
Pages: 314
Copyright: April 1, 2012
ISBN-13: 9781466418868
A taxi cab driver, who dreams of a better life for his family, transforms himself into an online XXX entrepreneur.
The Family Secret
Jose Torres is a tired thirty-five year old man who dreams of leaving his job as a taxi cab driver, and moving his growing family out of the inner city.
With no idea what he is doing, he convinces his wife to spend their last $2,000, and build a XXX website on a crazy new thing called the Internet. She then tells her parents and they ask to be partners. Jose suddenly finds himself in an erotic online businesss with his Jewish in-laws.
Confessions of an Internet Pornographer is a humor filled novel aboutdesperation, sex,greed, family and God. A story about a family’s adventures in online erotica, and a website named fantasiesonline.com. Inspired by a true story.
Excerpt
The church is empty, and the darkness provides a cool escape from the Caribbean sun. Dust plays high above the empty pews, within the fat beams of sunlight shining through the stained glass. Two huge wooden doors engraved with saints are closing behind me. I can still see the palm trees I befriended outside motioning me in with encouraging sways, reminding me to be strong and trust in God’s infinite ability to forgive. I am alone.
I sit down to wait, but only minutes pass before I hear a voice say, “Excuse me Sir, excuse me. Senor? Habla ingles?” Startled, I turn to my right and see a tall man, built more like a fireman or a boxer than a priest.
“Yes Father, I speak English.”
“Great. Good morning, you can come in now,” he says.
I rise slowly and begin to exit my pew, suddenly feeling that the Book of Life has opened to my name. I am ashamed and frightened.
The confessional is a damp box. A small square window, covered with a metal mesh, separates my booth from another. Soon the priest’s dimly lit face appears behind the screen. It’s been a long time since I’ve said confession. I cannot remember if I talk first, or wait silently, but I summon up some courage and say the only part of the ritual I remember.
“Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been fifteen years since my last confession. The reason I am here is to seek absolution for what I have done in the last few years. I was no saint before then, but I know I will be going to hell for what I did in the last four.”
“What have you done?” he asks.
“I sold sex. I produced strip shows and packaged pictures of naked people engaging in every fetish imaginable. I wrote, filmed and sold pornographic movies, some of which starred a member of my own family. I profited from helping people to indulge in their most graphic desires and perversions, and then posted them on the Internet for the entire world to see. I created a business built on men, having sex with men, and lesbian lovemaking—a lot of lesbian lovemaking. Without regard to person or purpose, I’ve paid people to engage in the wildest fantasies of my clients, everything except child pornography, bestiality, and acts depicting violence against women. I wish I could say it was for some great cause, but it wouldn’t be true . I did it all for the money.”
Through the screen I see the priest’s chin fall slowly onto his chest, and fear rushes into my heart.
“Simply put Padre, you are about to hear the confessions of an Internet pornographer who longs for God’s forgiveness.”
“Well. Let’s start at the beginning. Who are you?” he asked.
“My name is Jose Torres. I am in my early forties. I was once a cab driver in the borough of the Bronx in New York City. My wife’s name is Rachel. She is a Jewish-American, also in her forties. We have two daughters, Isabel and Rose.
“So, Mr. Torres, what happened?”
“It started…well, before the greed there was desperation.”
The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me is adult satirical humor featuring adult language and adult content, and the work is a parody of the Old Testament Book of Deuteronomy.
