Amazon Mike's literary pages W H Smiths Category:  Family Publisher: iUniverse ISBN-10:  0595224954 Type: Fiction Pages: 264 Copyright: Jan 1 2001 Tales of Yorkshire (Herriot country) by a true Yorkshire-man My tales will bring a tear to your eye, a smile to your lips, and a warm glow to your heart A novel of very interesting short stories from the beautiful countryside of the Yorkshire dales, easy reading with a Cuppa!   The sun shone brightly through the coach windows, causing the inside of the coach to become unbearably hot.  After removing our outer garments, ‘Can we have some windows open?’ I called to the driver, ‘I feel like a tomato in a greenhouse.’ The driver turned to look at me briefly, then opened the cab windows, causing a blast of fresh air to enter and cool our already sweating bodies.  Pulling over briefly, he opened the side windows of the coach as well, and then we continued on our journey.  He didn’t speak a word, reaching for the dashboard; he turned on his cassette player and pounded our eardrums with “country and western music”. ‘Can you turn it down a little please’ I shouted over the sound of the music. ‘It sounds like I’m sitting in the front row of the Grand Oprey’. The driver must have heard me, as he promptly turned down the music so low, you would have needed a hearing aid to know what was being sung! I began to have grave doubts about this driver, I had a feeling that he didn’t want to be driving the coach, he must have wanted to be elsewhere, but had been ordered to take us to Blackpool by his firm. By now we were almost half an hour into our journey, the wind coming through the open windows, blew refreshingly on my rugged but handsome features.  I was thinking about what I was going to do first when I reached this holiday resort that I had for so long awaited.  ‘Would any of the attractions that were there when I visited as a child, still be around, I wondered.  When suddenly! I was brought out of my reverie by a jolt that threw me forward, causing the straps of my harness to dig deeply into my well-muscled physique.  The pain in my shoulders, for a second was unbearable, my mouth opened wide to utter some profanities, when I was thrown roughly backwards with another jolt!  The backrest on my wheelchair, dug into me just below the shoulder blades.  The sound that left my lips was one of pure agony!  After a moment, I looked quickly around to see if everyone else was all right?  The looks on their ashen faces told it all, they were petrified and their fingers grasped the seats in front of them tightly, not one of them dared let go! The driver pulled to the side of the road and turned around to see if everyone was all right!  Apparently, he had been driving so close to a car in front of him, that when the driver of the car applied his brakes, the coach was so close up his backside that our driver had to apply his brakes as if in an emergency stop, then when the car in front turned left, our driver pushed his foot down on the accelerator so hard, it caused us to be thrown back in our seats, all this happened in seconds!  ‘Sorry!’ said the driver, ‘my foot slipped!’  He gave a nervous laugh and carried on with the journey. The beads of sweat that ran down my forehead onto my cheeks, were not caused by the heat, my shoulder were sore, the driver had fastened the harness to hold me in the wheelchair, so tightly, that I hardly had room to manoeuvre. My relatives assured themselves that I was okay and adjusted my harness so that I could sit properly and all this while the coach was still moving!  They sat back in their seats and fastened their seat belts. I could see that they were not enjoying this journey and regretted getting on the coach.  I thought it was time for a rest.  ‘Driver!’ I called out, ‘pull over at the next rest stop, we want a cup of tea’ I didn’t really want one, but I thought the others would be glad to get out and stretch their legs, which would also give them time to regain their composure and get their confidence back to carry on with the Journey. A few minutes later, the driver indicated a right turn and pulled into a roadside lay by.  Here was parked a caravan, when new, would have been white in colour, but now it was a very dingy dark grey. In seconds the bus was empty, except for the driver and myself. ‘Who was your driving instructor?’ I asked him sarcastically.  ‘Damon Hill?’  By now I was annoyed that a journey that was supposed to be a pleasant run taking the scenic route, was turning into a night mare, at this rate we would all be nervous wrecks and would need a holiday to recover from the holiday! The driver looked at me and smiled. Was it a smile that he enjoyed putting the fear of god into our almost panic stricken brains?  Or was a genuine smile of remorse for causing us unnecessary suffering? ‘Where’s the toilet's?’ Kathleen asked as she passed me a hamburger and a cup of tea. ‘I can’t find them!’ I looked at the driver who had undoubtedly overheard my wife. ‘You’ll have to go into the bushes,’ he stated.  ‘That’s where I’m going!’  With this, he jumped out of the cab and walked over to a row of thick bushes that lined the side of the road and quickly disappeared! ‘What is this guy?’ I thought to myself, ‘a pervert? Did he actually think that four ladies where going to pull down their knickers in bushes at the side of a road and especially when he was in there!’  No way! The ladies had decided to wait, as we weren't too far away from our destination. I was now regretting booking this coach; it was evident to everyone that the driver couldn’t give two monkeys about his passengers.  I watched as the driver reappeared moments later picking his nose!  He climbed into the cab and began searching around.  Raising his head, ‘has anyone seen my sandwiches?’ he asked, as he once again bent over to search under the dashboard. ‘If he offers me one of his sandwiches,’ I informed Kathleen. ‘I’m going to punch him in the eye!’ By now the rest of the family had gathered around and had heard my remark, they immediately fell about laughing!  Tears streamed down their cheeks ruining their make up.  Kathleen held her sides and almost fell off her seat, laughing so hard. I sat there watching all the laughter, a smile appeared on my face.  ‘What are you laughing at?’ I asked, now joining in the laughter.  ‘What’s so funny?’  It was several moments before my sister in law could explain why they were laughing. ‘The drivers sandwiches fell to the floor when he slammed on his brakes,’ my sister in law, Ethel, informed me.  ‘When I tried to steady myself, I accidentally put my foot on them and squashed them.’  This brought about more laughter and it was several moments before she could carry on with the explanation.  ‘Anyway, I don’t know what was in the sandwiches,’ she added.  ‘I saw this brown stuff coming out of the sides and a peculiar smell oozed from them, so I picked them up when we stopped and put them in the rubbish bin!’  She held onto Kathleen to steady herself, ‘I didn’t realise it was his lunch!’ ‘Has anyone seen my egg and brown sauce sandwiches?’ asked the driver.  A puzzled look had appeared on his craggy half-shaven features. This brought about more rapturous laughter.     Excerpt If you think my stories are true, then they probably are If you think my stories are fiction, then just relax and enjoy the tales

Jack Hargreaves
This is novel by English writer Michael Coatesworth. A prolific short fictional and pastoral essayist in his own right, Mr. Coatesworth, or "Mike," as he prefers to be called by readers and critics alike, has made a logical and hard-bought evolution as a writer.



His short story romance / Adventure is in the finest tradition of the genre. This is one of those rare works that deserves the title "Inspirational." An outstanding novel and we look forward to more from Michael Coatesworth.



Jack Hargreaves