A bitter-sweet tragi-comedy that recalls the first year of a British gay couple living in a Muslim land.
Just imagine the absurdity of two openly gay, recently ‘married’ middle aged, middle class men escaping the liberal sanctuary of anonymous London to relocate to a Muslim country.
Jack and Liam, fed up with kiss-my-arse bosses and nose-to-nipple commutes, quit their jobs and move to a small town in Turkey. Join the culture-curious gay couple on their bumpy rite of passage. Meet the oddballs, VOMITs, vetpats, emigreys, semigreys, debauched waiters and middle England miseries. When prejudice and ignorance emerge from the crude underbelly of Turkey’s expat life, Jack and Liam waver. Determined to stay the course, the happy hedonistas hitch up their skirts, move to the heart of laissez-faire Bodrum and fall in love with their intoxicating foster land. Enter Jack’s irreverent world for a right royal dose of misery and joy, bigotry and enlightenment, betrayal and loyalty, friendship, love, earthquakes, birth, adoption and murder. You couldn't make it up.
Excerpt
ASIA MINOR - A CONTINENT IN MINIATURE
Just imagine the absurdity of two openly gay, recently married, middle-aged, middle class men escaping the liberal sanctuary of anonymous London to relocate to a Muslim country. The country in question is not Iran (we had no desire to be lynched from the nearest olive tree by the Revolutionary Guard) but neighbouring Turkey, a secular nation practising a moderate and state-supervised form of Islam. Even so, Turkey provides a challenge to the free-spirited wishing to live unconventionally. Openly gay Turks in visible same-sex relationships are as rare as ginger imams.
There are more parallels between Britain and Turkey than many realise. Both are historic nations once united under Ancient Rome, fiercely independent and suspicious of a new pan-European empire formed by a Treaty in modern Rome. Both are anchored to the edge of Europe but chained to it economically. Both have a political and cultural heritage so immense that they transformed the world. Both have emerged from the long shadow of an empire destroyed by world wars and both are trying to forge a modern role in a rapidly changing world.
Türkiye means ‘land of the strong’, an old Turkic/Arabic compound. Anatolia translates as ‘sunrise’ from ancient Greek. Both poetic epitaphs are fitting depictions of a vast land blessed with striking physical beauty, wrought by the brutal force of Mother Nature, and fought over, won and lost by invaders across all of recorded time. Turkey is a nation familiar to many Brits: the beer-swigging tattooed tourist seeking cheap fun in the sun with chips on the side, and those of a more scholarly hue who wonder at the unparalleled scale and depth of Anatolian culture and history. Traditional Turkey is the true crossroad of civilisations, the evidence of which lies casually underfoot, and a land where kinship and community reign supreme. New Turkey is a reinvigorated, rising, regional power, the ephemeral playground of pallid-skinned, sun-starved Northern Europeans gorging themselves on expensive imported bacon, cheap local plonk and one-upmanship. Islamic majesty sits uncomfortably alongside bargain bucket tourism. It was precisely this compelling contradiction of the captivating and the comical that lured two culture-curious gay boys out from under the cosy duvet of laissez-faire London life.
This book began life as a monthly email commentary of our experiences in our foster land and the extraordinary people – the sad, the mad, the bad and the glad – we encountered along the way. I called my dispatches ‘witterings’ and shared them with my wish-you-were-heres. As the witterings grew, high and low drama unfolded around us. So began a rollercoaster ride that amused, moved, surprised and ultimately changed us forever.
BELLE EPOQUE
A year in the making and our voyage had barely started. What began as an exhilarating journey into the unknown soon became a raw test of endurance. We survived the fall of the Raj, separated the wheat from the chavs, distanced ourselves from the emigrey closets and cried a river over Adalet. Charlotte and Alan had been hung out to dry and still didn’t know who dished the dirt. The senseless murder of an innocent man came close to capsizing our boat. But the turbulence that swirled around us only served to bring our sainted existence into sharp relief. Through it all, as if fixed at the eye of the storm, Liam and I remained solid, together and optimistic. Lady Fortuna favoured us. It was, beyond question, the best year of our lives.
In twelve concentrated months, our lives had been touched by the good, the bad, the foolhardy and the heart-wrenching. For a while, we wondered which category we fell into, but then the truth slapped us about the face like a wet towel. We could have our place in the sun, but not as fully paid up members of the embittered emigrey imperials. They might dump their unwanted pasts at check-in and blame Blighty for all their woes, but we weren’t about to join them. Nor could we become plastic Turks. Our dismal language skills and very obvious union precluded it. No, we occupied the space in between, neither fish nor fowl. We were content with that. For now.
We had made a decadent choice to retire early, against the advice of many. Our financial health had been compromised but our emotional health had soared. There was no going back. Besides, we were fond of our exotic foster country and her many puzzling paradoxes. Dire warnings of imminent religious zealotry had proved premature but we would keep a watchful eye.
Our move to Bodrum Town had changed us. We were happy in the Bohemian oasis with its progressive vibe and liberal tinge, though we did wonder what the town really made of us. A message from a Turkish-American Bodrum Belle gave us hope.
“There will be envy among your neighbours that there are two very polite gay yabancilar who pay on time and are courteously living in the family’s stone house, both of which have already singled you out from many. Whilst the older generation counts the pesos, you are setting a path of freedom for some of the very trapped sons (and daughters). If it were easy, you would not be doing it.”
Dina Street
Turkey is a magical land graced by a rich culture, gorgeous people and an intrinsic love of the family. A respect for difference won’t destroy that. It’s okay to be queer. It won’t bring down the house, though it might bring in a little more style. At times I think we’re floundering about like idiots but now and then I think we’re making a real difference. Time will be the judge. In the meantime, rising inflation and falling interest rates may yet force us to perk our pansies elsewhere. I hear Bulgaria is nice.
Professional Reviews
Something of a Miracle Worker
Jack Scott is something of a miracle-worker in that he’s managed to persuade a non-Turkish publisher that there’s a market for a story about life abroad in somewhere that’s neither Tuscany nor Provence. For the general reader, the book’s originality lies more in its honesty about the grubby reality of expat life that conventional travel literature prefers to gloss over. While it makes for comical reading, this picture of right-wing Brits putting down roots abroad will have some readers hanging their heads in shame.
Time Out, Istanbul
A Refreshing Change
The book includes a list of colourful characters, British and Turkish...almost Dickensian in their eccentricity, humour, melancholy, self-delusion, kindness and casual cruelty. There is heartlessness and tragedy here but also a generosity of spirit and a positivity, along with a dogged determination to see the best in humanity.
Polari Magazine
Hilarious, Saucy, Witty, Heartwarming and Incredibly Moving
Jack Scott deftly weaves vividly accurate images of expatriate life, capturing the idiosyncrasies and foibles of this all-too-human group of eccentric characters. Jack proves that wherever in the world we may be, it is the relationships we surround ourselves with that matter most. No wonder fans await a sequel with bated breath.
Global Living Magazine
