A book that finally allows men to tell the truth and answer questions that all women want to know.
Inspired by two of the biggest issues we face in America: marriage and infidelity. What if you could really know the deep down secrets that men keep buried inside that only God, themselves, and a few close friends know about? What if you could really find out the true reason why men cheat? In this book, men are finally at liberty to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Women can finally get true confessions to questions they've always wanted to know. They learn not only to think like a man, but to be the kind of lady that men cherish in long term relationships.
Excerpt
Introduction
Why write another book about male/female relationships? Why regurgitate the same relationship myths and assumptions? Why do we need another one? This book is for those who want to add structure back to their families, to make relationships stronger, to make marriages affair proof, and to provide a roadmap for change in the lives of our children. We believe the way to accomplish these changes is through the hearts of men.
Since the beginning of time, men believed actions spoke louder than words. We are known to be action oriented individuals. We are protectors and providers. If there is a problem we try and fix it. If our family is in danger, we protect them. It is what we’ve been taught from our youth. We are taught to become a pro: a protector and a provider. We were never really allowed to express how we felt about certain things. When we were kids playing a sport, if we got hurt we had to tough it out. Crying was not an option. We may have stepped out for a play or two, but we had to get right back in the game. We learned from a young age not to express our true feelings about things. As a result of this we stand in the position that we do today: though we are physically the stronger of the human creation, yet we are unable to express our most intimate feelings. This is a real challenge to our manhood. It’s not so much that we are unable to express our feelings. It’s more so that we are not “allowed” to express them. All of our life it has been prohibited. Part of it is due to our protective instincts as men. We don’t want to emotionally hurt the person that we are dealing with so we withhold the truth. The other part of it is our upbringing. We just simply have not been raised to express intimacy or our true feelings. These true feelings are what make up the deep confessions of faithful men. It’s how we really and truly want to respond to things, but haven’t been at liberty to do so. We believe that if we can uncover the layers of true confessions buried deep within men, our families will turn around. Our children will respect their elders once again. Our little girls will know the true worth of their bodies and not throw them away in an attempt to gain attention. Our young men will learn to respect themselves and others. Our marriages will be rooted in love and bounded by a spiritual truth that is blessed by God. The only way to begin the process of rebuilding families is to uncover the deeply rooted confessions of men. These confessions are only known to a few: God, himself, and his closest friend.
One must ask why it is or how is it that these confessions have laid dormant within the hearts of men for all these years? The answer is simple: all for the sake of trying to find a sense of peace. We bottle up a lot of things inside of us for the sake of peace. Now here is a way to begin to release all of the stress, all of the pain, all of the suffering that we’ve held onto for years. We want to give men the opportunity to be open and honest without being judged by the women in our lives. We want men to finally have the opportunity to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We want to give women an understanding of what men are faced with on a day to day basis. It does not matter what religious organization a man belongs to, he is still faced with the same challenges as any other man. Once you peel back all the layers of religion and race only one thing remains; a man.
We want to first of all thank God for giving us the vision for this book. We want to thank all our brothers and sisters, our mother and father(s) for giving us the motivation to write this book. We want to thank all of our friends for participating in the surveys. We are grateful for other books out there that have paved the way for a book such as this one. We feel as if now is the time to build on what has been laid by those books. We wanted to go a little deeper and provide priceless information to the readers. In most books, men typically remain on the surface because they are afraid they will get questioned by their wives or girlfriends. In this book, we deal with questions and answer them honestly knowing that our wives/girlfriends will ask us the question(s): "Is this you?" "Is this book talking about you?” "Have you cheated?" We will have to give the answer to these questions honestly. In all actuality, it should help relationships in reading this book.
The nature of this book is what caused us to be reluctant about coauthoring it. We were afraid that being so truthful would cause our wives to believe that we were messing around on them, but this is not true. We did not even want them to think that there was even a possibility that we would. We know that there are many books out there already that get into why men cheat and are very good books and we would go as far as saying that they are great books. Most have reached the best sellers list of the wall street journal and have made money many times over, but we want to give people a top seller that not only directs us to the problems in our relationships, but gives us the reasons why the problems are happening and possible solutions to correct them. This is so important to us that we are willing to expose our deepest thoughts and feelings about things that most men only talk about in the company of other men. This information is scary but truthful and will feed the starving souls of women that are hungry for the truth and finally will be able to be set free to hunger no more. You will now have the keys to the car that was off limits and locked away in a secret place exclusively for men. You can now get in and drive to a destination that will only lead to success.
Professional Reviews
AAMBC Book Review
“First of all, I will definitely recommend this book to others and I also see it as a book that I would read again. As I first read the title, I thought another book about relationships. However, the authors added another spin to the book that is not shared with many other relationship books. This book just didn't discuss how men are but why they are the way they are from a biblical perspective and took it back to Adam and Eve. Dotting on how men from day 1 blamed others in lieu of accepting responsibility and how they are not encouraged to express themselves.
There were points that I believe woman have heard many times, such as the weight gain issue of women and how it can impact their marriage; women basically letting themselves go by not maintaining their hair, health and overall body; and holding out on sex due to various reason. But, what I really like was that the authors indicated, while they recommend women not hold out and maintains their overall body that does not guarantee a man still will not cheat. What it does is help men daily with their struggle to cheat since men are very visual and it's important that their woman remain visually stimulating to them.
There were also several points that I had not heard or that I don't think women hear often and were worth reiterating, such as how often mean think about sex; men need sex to take the pressure off of himself from being stimulated in the moments of the day; men are very visual; women can keep themselves looking their best and men may still cheat; women leave too much communication in place when they are supposedly through with a man (email, phone); why sex is really so important to men; men need to be allowed to express themselves; and what men really mean by a submissive women. If anyone is looking to gain a better understanding of any of these from a men's perspective, I highly recommend they read the book.
As a married women, the book made me think about many things but my most important take way is to allow and encourage my husband to express himself and be willing to accept his true confessions and work with him and not against him by starting an argument. I am looking forward to reading the book again. In addition, the book is an easy read, short and to the point.”
I met Jerome on a busy city street in Baltimore, Maryland, when he was forty-five years old. On that particular day, I was out and about, enjoying a much-needed day off from work.
I wanted to purchase a sukiyaki sub. I parked my car in an area of
