Who Do You Think You are? – The Power of BELIEVEING in Yourself is an excellent roadmap to guide you in understanding what drives your thoughts and behavior. The Author has used the “BELIEVE” concepts along with easy assessment tools that will allow you to critically think about your life and the intrinsic motivation of what actually drives you. “This book became the mirror that helped me to understand who I am in a society and a world that is constantly changing around me”, Dillon states as he proclaims that you will find change in your thinking and clarity in your life.
Who Do You Think You Are? Can you answer that question with confidence and truly Believe it? Nicholas Dillon has put together a proven roadmap that will redefine your thinking and give you better clarity in your life.
Excerpt
Who do you think you are? I start this book by asking that very personal question, because I need to get your attention and I don’t happen to be sitting across from you in the comfort of your local coffee house.
I might put it another way. Do you ever wonder how well you know yourself? Are you ever uncomfortable with who you are and the individual you have become? Are there times in your life when you question your feelings, emotions, or thoughts and where they might have come from? Do you ever find yourself questioning your relationships or your career choice? Are you sometimes baffled by your own behavior? If you answered yes to even one of these questions, then you’re reading the right book.
The key to knowing who you are lies in a true understanding of what I call your “Frame of Reference.”
Frame of Reference, as a matter of definition, is the sum total of the principles, values and points of view that you’ve picked up over a lifetime that are now affecting how you communicate and how you behave.
More to the point, your frame of reference is where you are in your head. It culminates, where you are in your life at any time based upon everything that has happened to you and all the environmental and cultural things that have made you the man or woman that you are.
These are the things that drive your thinking and your behavior. This is your frame of reference, and it will impact everything that we talk about throughout this book.
Here’s some good news. Your frame of reference is an ever-moving target that changes day to day which means you’re not held hostage by your frame of reference. You can use it to become the person you want to be. So whether you’re confident or angry, sad or energetic, indifferent or ambitious – whatever the emotion – all are tied to your frame of reference. The moment you identify your frame of reference you will be able to answer even the hardest questions: why am I depressed; why am I so driven; why do I feel hopeless; why are my relationships so stuck.
When I was a teenage, I didn’t like who I was. I didn’t feel loved. I was often bullied. I lacked confidence and had a very low self-image. Why? The reason is my frame of reference had been shaped by my home environment and childhood experiences. And it wasn’t until I began to recognize this that I gained control over my view of the world and my view of myself. A boy who is brought up to accept the status quo is very likely to end up in a job he doesn’t like as a man. A girl who is neglected by her parents might very well end up in an abusive relationship as a woman.
The point is this. There comes a time in our lives when we all find ourselves reflecting on exactly how we got to where we are right now. The answer is very straightforward: choices. It is the choices that you’ve made throughout your life that have gotten you to this place and time, just as surely as the choices I have made have gotten me where I am right now.
If you’re in a jail cell, you can trace it back to the choices that you made. If you’re staring at a stack of bills and facing bankruptcy, it is a reflection of past choices. If you’ve just been elected valedictorian of your graduating class, rest assured your choices impacted that. If you’ve just been promoted, the same is true.
Anything you do in life is a choice. Every choice has ramifications down the road and impacts your frame of reference at any given time.
Thinking – or not thinking – is directly related to the process of making choices. I have always taught my children to think through every decision to its logical conclusion before moving forward. Another father might encourage his kids to rely on gut instinct. In either case, those lessons will help shape each child’s frame of reference and the choices that they make moving forward in their lives.
If, for example, your parents assigned you weekly chores – mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, loading the dishwasher – you learned the value of responsibility. This value impacts your frame of reference. Identifying your frame of reference is a starting point in making choices and accepting you for who you are.
It is not enough to want your family and friends to love and accept you for whom you are if you don’t know who you are yourself. You need to understand yourself and your daily life motivation. It is my goal to provide you with some tools on how to really understand your “Frame of Reference.” Once found, you will be able to look yourself in the mirror and say, “This is who I am.” And, you’ll be able to shout it boldly to the world.
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