Kindle Edition
Category:
Humor
Publisher: Mark Sutton
Type: Fiction
Pages: 34
Copyright: Feb 8, 2014
Price: $1.27 (eBook)
For all of you stalkers living in this modern day and age, it can be difficult finding the time to sit down and compose greetings messages for the object/s of your desire/s. You need worry no more! Veteran stalker (and indeed, 'stalkee') Jeremy Felliwell, star of 'Jeremy and the Summer of Stalking', has taken time out from his busy schedule of spying and making anonymous telephone calls to share with you his favourite customized stalker greetings card messages, covering all sorts of occasions
Are you stalking someone who is about to celebrate their birthday, and you don't know how to convey a message of congratulations? Are you wondering how to broach the subject of Christmas with your prey? Or perhaps it's Valentines Day, and you want to send an appropriate message to your victim? Then worry no more, 'Jeremy's Little Book of Stalker Greetings Card Messages' covers all of these joyous occasions and many more, with sixty messages of unhinged obsession with which to titillate your quarry. It also includes a handy 'Do's and Don'ts' guide to assist the Stalker when sending their greetings card message, which will prove invaluable to novices everywhere.
The following e-books by Mark Sutton are also available from Amazon:
Jeremy and the Summer of Stalking.
Poems of Desire and Murder by Jeremy Felliwell.
Gilbert and Sulliman and the curse of the Red Spider.
Anne, They Say...
Anne, They Reckon...
Jeremy's Complete Stalkers Collection.
The Round Guide to Morality.
Moments of Morality by Horace Round.
Excerpt
Birthday greetings (generic)
Celebrate! Enjoy yourself!
Birthdays are such fun!
I’ll be over very soon!
And I’ve got a gun!
18th Birthday
You’ve come of age!
And I’ve just come!
21st Birthday
You're 21! You've got the key to the door!
And so have I....
40th Birthday
Life begins at forty!
That’s really what they say!
I’ve walked past your house as well,
Forty times today!
80th Birthday
I can’t believe you’ve reached the age,
That many just don’t reach,
They die so very suddenly,
At home, or on the beach,
You’ve shown that you are healthier,
It’s helped extend your life,
And though I really fancy you,
I much prefer your wife…
On passing a driving test
Now you’re fit to drive that car,
I bet you feel elation,
I’ve been watching from afar,
I’ve got your registration.
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