Kindle Edition
markcSuttonauthor
Category:
Humor
Publisher: Mark C Sutton
Type: Fiction
Pages: 280
Copyright: apr 24, 2014
Price: $4.27 (eBook)
You'll never feel safe on your allotment again...
Brian Miller is a devoted family man in his seventies, with a sinister secret; in the nineteen sixties, he murdered three people and got away with it. But Brian put aside his murderous ways, focusing instead on enjoying a happy life with his new young family. Many years later, a personal tragedy results in Brian's long dormant blood-lust to rise to the surface again, and the ageing serial killer is reborn, leading to a trail of death and destruction with an increasingly high body-count. Grandad Miller seeks revenge on all manner of victims, from a loutish fellow member of his local allotment, to a trio of violent muggers, from a former school bully who made his life a misery many years ago, to a feisty, ageing, hairdresser who has given his wife a disastrous perm down at the local salon. Will the lovable, homicidal grandfather be able to avoid capture by the authorities, or will his increasingly bad back put paid to Brian's nefarious ways for good?
Excerpt
I stood over the dead body of auntie Wendy. We were in one of my favourite locations, the 'haunted woods' near to Hogswood, and not too far from where I'd buried Amanda, all of those years ago. Wendy was about to join her, in the ground. I'd decided that it would be fitting to beat Wendy to death, so that's exactly what I did. I punched and kicked the life out of the nasty old bitch, and I didn't feel an ounce of guilt as I did it. Au contraire, I'd given uncle Wally some justice, and I felt absolutely at peace with the world as I stared down at the woman who I'd killed. It had been the right thing to do. And enjoyable, too.
Coaxing auntie Wendy from her home had been a piece of piss, just like I knew it would be. Despite being a heartless, vicious old cow, one thing about Wendy was for certain; she doted over her niece, Lydia. So, when I asked if she could come over to ours, to comfort the inconsolable girlfriend of mine, Wendy, who was a little bit unsteady on her feet and stank of booze, was in my car like a shot. Granted, there were a few awkward questions during the ride, when auntie Wendy realised that we were heading in completely the wrong direction, and things certainly got a bit ugly when I had to pull the car into a lay-by and slap the old fart a bit, but, apart from those few minor irritants, the whole plan went like clockwork. I was pleased with myself, and felt like I'd done a good nights work. Especially when I'd finished burying auntie Wendy. Bless her cotton fucking socks.
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