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Category:
Literary Fiction
Publisher: Lulu
ISBN-10: 1312193492
Type: Fiction
Pages: 91
Copyright: 2014
ISBN-13: 9781312193499
Price: $5.99 (eBook)
“Destiny’s Stereo” is a unique, literary blend of poetry and narrative writing telling the story of a man’s struggle with a debilitating, mental illness, Schizoaffective Disorder. With delusions, hallucinations and paranoia of a schizophrenic and erratic mood shifts, as if swinging on the emotional pendulum of Bipolar, Sapieus Holmes fights to maintain healthy relationships with those closest to him - desperately trying to return to earlier states of sanity, spirituality and connection with reality.
If you were walking down the sidewalk where the lounge, The Astral Pit, is located—on any given Saturday night—you would hear acid jazz that’ll send your spirit to places unimagined in the universe. The band you would hear is a unique trio called, The Maya. Each time their melodies, beats and spoken word are infused with elements of jazz, hip-hop and funk.
The group relies on the direction of the powerful, Edgar Logos who plays the piano. Eric Teller is rhythmic and earthy on percussion. However, the most attractively interesting and eccentric element of the group is their trumpeter, Sapieus Holmes. Together their music is poetic but their brass section is problematic.
Sapieus has a cancerous, mental illness called Schizoaffective Disorder which has been slowly destroying his life, all his relationships and finances for years without diagnosis. That is, until a year ago when major schizophrenic and manic-depressive episodes escalated to critical levels. Now, Erosa, his compassionate girlfriend, attempts to redeem herself from her fear-driven actions of abandonment during that time and provide unconditional support for Sapieus and keep unwavering faith in their relationship. Rather than embrace the love of
his life’s sincere whispers of love and admiration, Sapieus ignores the echoes of Erosa’s sweet voice and finds himself searching elsewhere for love—despite its presence by his side and deep within him.
In Destiny’s Stereo, you’ll see how Schizoaffective Disorder disconnects Sapieus from reality. He must find the strength to not indulge the demands of the voices that only he can hear. He can’t give in to sporadic, promiscuous urges and the pressing need to excessively spend money, delusions of being a superman or intrusive feelings of hopelessness, to the point of having suicidal thoughts or making attempts. He has to gain control of his illness or manage it so that he can function in society. Sapieus needs to reconnect with the truth found in love in order to keep his dreams from becoming nightmares and keep his life from sinking in the dismal sea of desperation and damnation.
Excerpt
The Maya touches heaven with its liveliness. The concert ends in euphoria—equilibrium of vibrations, voice and soul. The band receives a standing ovation before they can finish playing their last measure. Erosa and Topper run to the stage from their VIP seats in the audience tossing flowers at the band’s feet. Then, from nowhere…
BLINK!!
Sapieus Holmes stares at his faithful best friend of eight years, Edgar Logos and at Eric Teller behind his hi-hat and snare. He looks at the beautiful smile of his ever-so-understanding lady in red, Erosa Isle. He watches Topper Tuney struggle to pop the cork from a bottle of champagne. Sapieus even looks down at the long-legged Thantosia, sitting seductively in pink on the front row. Hoping that this is not an illusion, he forces himself to smile at what he sees as a beautiful gathering of friends and lifts his trumpet to the air proudly. As the words “I made it” start to form on his lips, he sees his face reflected in the freshly polished brass of his trumpet and slams it down to the floor.
|MY REALITY|
As reality slips into my world full of imagination and dreams, I gasp for breath as I sadly realize that my dreams, hard to reach like stars, taunt my esteem
Success is a treasure, a state of mind where pleasure dwells
As my head swells with thoughts of uncertainty, it seems I’m stuck in the womb of insanity
Reality for a world full of anxiety
The mentality of one lost soul is inside of me
Sapieus has hit the violent extremity of his manic state. He storms out of the club; leaving a trail of shattered glass and overthrown chairs behind him. No one knows where he’s headed. He wanders thuggishly through the streets, yelling at the air, breaking beer bottles on the sidewalk and destroying storefront windows with any hard objects he can find. His public displays of affection to insanity, however, are short-lived as the police have Sapieus in custody by sunrise.
Holmes sits tightly handcuffed to a cold, steel table in the downtown precinct’s interrogation room. What in hell happened to Sapieus last night?
|LAST NIGHT|
Last night
I thought I was going to die
I hurt my friends when I didn’t say “bye”
Last night
I was at my rope’s end
I guess my run from the truth led me to sin
After all I said
Life is hard
And I just wanted to die in bed
Last night
I thought I had no reason to understand
Last night
People asked me
“What is wrong?”
I looked at them and told them
“Leave me alone”
The streets I roamed
Confused, I was
Last night
Last night
The 45 mm sat on my lap
I cocked it
I cocked it
I cocked it
I cocked it
I dropped it!
Do you believe after that?
I lost it
My mind
We made it they said
I love you she said
Last night
I thought it was all good
But it was “I” that was shrinking
Did I commit a crime?
Not again
No, not this time
Last night
My life, will it never change?
On a thin string I hang
Wanting to survive
With not even a dime
To buy myself away from pain
Like other people
It’s something inside
Keeps me continuously drowning in my tears
Me, myself and my fears
My future flashed
Danced with destiny before me
Last night
Last night
BLINK!!!
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