The lives and loves of several different characters attending a Pilates exercise class for the first time.
The Pilates Class is a quick read, and a humorous look at the lives and loves of several different characters that attend a Pilates class for the first time. Roger is a down-to-earth builder type, Judy is the harassed single mother of four teenage boys, and Thelma is a librarian who usually looks as though she's been sitting on a wasps’ nest for most of her life.
Neville is on the lookout for a woman (any woman will do), and Julian just wants to be young again. Edie is the wrong side of 70, and Roz is a size zero fitness queen.
These characters, together with one very overweight Alice, all meet up for the first time at their local Pilates class. Petra, the class instructor, has no idea what she has let herself in for!
Excerpt
Roger Harvey could taste blood. He had bitten the inside of his mouth to stop himself from screaming.
“How was the injection for you?”
“Bloody awful. The pain’s worse now, doc.” Roger rubbed his aching shoulder and tried not to panic on finding that he could no longer raise his arm at all.
“The pain will ease after a few days as the steroid works its way in. You’ll need to keep the joint moving, or the injection will be of no use. Start by moving the fingers of the affected arm upwards along a wall every day and see how far you can reach. Make another appointment to see me if there’s no improvement after a couple of weeks.”
“Thanks doc.”
“Blimey Dad – you look a bit white!” Lewis stood up as he saw his father gingerly walking out of the consultation room.
“So would you if you’d just had a foot long needle shoved into your shoulder joint.”
“Ewwww…..that sucks.”
“Yeah.”
“I told Mum where I was taking you today, and Barry said he had the same thing a while back. He joined something called a plates class at the leisure centre, and said it really helped.”
“The wonderful Barry can go fuck himself and mind his own business. Come on; get me out of here.”
Lewis manoeuvred the van down the exit ramp of the hospital car park, and joined the rush hour traffic along the main road out of Norwich:
“When shall I tell Bill that you’ll be back at work then?”
“I’ll go back on Monday. I’m going to the GP later on to get a certificate for the rest of the week.”
“We’ll be starting on the footings for that new housing estate.”
“Yeah. I’ll be there.”
“Sure you’ll be all right Dad?” Lewis swung the van into Meadow Close and turned off the engine. “Want me to come up?”
“No, you get off home. Thanks for the lift. I’ll see you on Monday.”
Roger turned the key in the lock of his one bedroom second floor flat, and gave a rueful laugh: Two years ago before the divorce it was a detached house with three bedrooms. Amanda had worked it all out to her advantage.
He sank down on the bed and closed his eyes. The pain was intense in his shoulder, making him irritable and bad tempered. Thank God he could raise his arm up a bit more now though. For a moment there he thought he was buggered.
He must have dozed off. Waking suddenly and glancing at his mobile phone, a reminder was showing for his GP appointment in half an hour. Roger leapt off the bed, and ignored protesting stabs of pain from his newly injected shoulder joint. There was just enough time for a quick cup of coffee; the doctors’ appointments usually ran late anyway.
“I’ll sign you off until Monday. Keep the joint moving and keep stretching the arm. Do you belong to a gym?” Having taken a quick look at the burgeoning beer belly on the patient, Dr Khan thought he already knew the answer to that question.
“No.”
Surprise. Surprise. “I’ll give you a 6 week gym prescription.” The doctor handed Roger a piece of paper. “ Give this to the manager of your local leisure centre. Your best bet is a Pilates class that will help stretch and tone your muscles. You’ll be amazed at the results if you stick to it.”
Roger sniffed as he took the piece of paper. If Dr Khan thought that he, Roger, was going to prance about in leggings and a stretchy leotard with a load of skinny women, then he could fuck right off.
“Is it going to cost me anything?”
“No. It’s free for six weeks. After that you can decide whether or not you want to carry on with it.”
Well, if it’s free then it might be worth having a go? Who knows? Perhaps one of those skinny women might even fancy him in his leotard……
Professional Reviews
Review by Queen of Spades/The Review Board
Blurb: The Pilates class is a humorous look at the lives and loves of several different characters attending a Pilates exercise class for the first time.
There is a bit more than meets the eye with this blurb, and that is what I adore about this short, yet delightful write.
Strengths:
Pleasant Hook: I really like how the author doesn’t waste any time in luring the reader into the story, yet she is able to outline each of the main participants in the story without it feeling overly rushed.
Consistent Conflict: Amidst the comedy, there was quite a bit of individual conflict with the characters as well as group conflict once certain characters began getting deeply involved with each other.
Engaging Characters: I really like that a lot of the characters went beyond how they were stereotyped by Petra (the fitness lady). I loved Roger. He was rough around the edges, yet I really adored how down to earth he was. He never censored himself for the sake of others. I had a lot of respect for Neville’s character. You hear so much about guys that don’t care about the substance of a woman if she tends to look good. He really seemed to know what he was looking for. I’m also glad that the author dared to make him a virgin. You rarely hear about guys his age being one. Each character invoked some type of emotional response from me, and that is a sign of awesome writing.
Setting/Mood: As I was reading this work, I found myself trying to pull “in my navel” and “my pelvic floor”. (Well, the mental image of me was trying to.) That is how engaged I was in the book. I was actually at the Pilates class, watching Roger tumble off his ball, and Edith looking in disdain.
The comedic value, intermingling storylines, and inviting characters make The Pilates Class a definite win for me. Although it is marketed as women’s fiction, I could see something in there for the men, too, due to how narrative strength of the male characters.
From her bravery to address the issue of pornography in The Porn Detective to the lighthearted zeal of The Pilates Class, Stevie Turner is effectively demonstrating her range as a writer. She is definitely an indie writer to be on the watch for, and I will wait in anticipation for her next work.
Review by Amy Hildebrand
I received this book for free, in exchange for an honest review. *
Who knew a Pilates class could be so interesting?
Each person who attends Petra's Pilate class at the local gym has their own story. Their own reason for being in the class. Roger and Julian their arms aren't working properly and they need to stretch it. Judith because she needs to get away from all the boys in her life! Edie, she needs something to do. Neville to pick up chicks cause he is striking out. Thelma, because she is a spinster who needs to get away from her mum. Roz, well because she is addicted to exercising.
But as the book goes, their lives entwine. The people change from resistant to the Pilates class to enjoying it because they have grown. Each character has their own wit and charm. I love Roger for being a clout. The things that he thinks of in class are a RIOT! His part alone made the book. I was upset that Edie just faded away, I thought for sure she'd be in the thick.
This is a quickie, but a good quickie! I was surprised at some of the ending. Not shocked, just didn't want it to end that way.
Review posted anonymously on Barnes & Noble
This book is 150 pages long. It was very well edited and the word smirk, in any of its forms was not used. YIPPEE! There are not any sexual details but sex does occur. Thete are lots of thoughts of sex also. There is a small amount of swearing. Some bullying and no violence except for an accident. This book is set in England. It is a bit cheesy, but enjoyable all the same. It has some of that dry British humor and the the rather odd ( to us on this side of the pond) names for things. At times, this book was a bit on the sad side. I wish it had been longer and more detailed. It is more chick lit then any other type of fiction. For readers 16 and up.
The Wholly Book of Genesis is a humorous satire on the first book of the Old Testament where the Story of Creation, the building of Noah's Ark, Sodom and Gomorrah and the families of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are thoroughly spoofed and broadsided.
Farctured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces, Part II satirizes popular children's stories into adult-oriented renditions. FFFF &FF, Part II is also available in Amazon Kindle and Barnes and Noble e-book formats.
