Karen Lee, whose autobiography is the first to be published by a gay person in Singapore, says although she's back in her home country after being away for 14 years, she's "bound to flock to another country with her partner in a few years.
Excerpt
"This is the most important chapter of my life which I will never forget. The period or phase that made me wonder if being gay was actually about being honest to oneself and living life outright as it was, or a see-no-evil-hear-no-evil-and-do-no-evil kind of philosophy. I thought I was born gay so why would I want to “ungay” myself? Wasn’t a gay lifestyle what I had been searching for half my life?
Unabashedly honest, passionate and poignant, this book chronicles the life of Karen Lee, a tenacious woman born into the traditional half-Burmese and -Chinese roots, who had been through an arduous journey in search of the most wonderful treasures known to man – love and acceptance from God, family and friends and most importantly, herself. Her fighting to be accepted as a lesbian Christian in the current society ensues as she matures and goes into womanhood."
Professional Reviews
No More Daddy's Little Girl
“No More Daddy’s Little Girl”- a book by Karen Lee.
Before i read Karen Lee’s book, i received plenty of comments pertaining to it.
Most of them were negative, criticizing aspects from grammar and style of writing to content.
I bought the book anyway, complete with her autograph on it. You never know till you read it, i thought to myself. Besides, i believe in supporting the first Singaporean lesbian autobiography. In the same train of thought [to support local queer writings], i bought the Chinese publication “tong lei” by OC. I finished the book in a couple of days, snatching moments before bedtime and during dinnertime.
The first half of the book touched on her early crushes, with a heavy emphasis on her involvement in Girls’ Brigade. Parts of the book provided information in somewhat random chunks. Sometimes the pieces were too brief to comprehend in detail. A characteristic, i surmised, as a result of length constraint. After sharing childhood memories, the story segued into her stints in Australia, Sweden and eventually Canada.
The greatest criticism was probably on content. Someone commented that the book is screwed up because Karen implied that she is gay as a result of being molested in her childhood. Indeed, in her coming out email to her parents, the uncanny pairing of the coming out declaration with the molest incident hinted at perceived causality. The person went on to say that the book gives fundies ammunition to target the lesbian population: you are gay because you are screwed up in your childhood. It was also pointed out that the book reflects badly on romantic relationships in the community. You can imagine a fundie going “look at how many flings Karen had! This is evidence that lesbian relationships are unstable.”
“She’s probably a screwed up lesbian,” was the concluding remark.
Coupled with Karen’s continuous struggles with reconciling her faith and sexuality throughout the book, it’s easy to see why some do not find the book uplifting.
But there were little entertaining bits here and there that amused me greatly. Karen’s ego and narcissism had me guffawing. Her confidence exuded from the very pages. She declared her own leadership, discipline and attractiveness. The audacity of demanding for someone’s girlfriend was appalling and amusing at the same time. In retort to any reader’s immediate question “how can you do that? She’s attached!”, Karen’s justification was one of standing up for her affections.
The book has several ingredients for a grabbing piece: horrifying incidents [e.g., lesbian almost-stabbing drama], the agony of being at odds with God, love, fleeting attractions, sex, eventual familial acceptance and so on. It’s certainly not a boring piece. No More Daddy’s Little Girl sent me through a torrent of emotions, ranging from exasperation to amusement. I raised my eyebrows, rolled my eyes, laughed and melted. I felt like i was sitting down with an acquaintance over coffee, listening to her life stories. Somewhat conversational [which might explain the writing style/grammar/sentence structure].
As i put the book down, sweetness overflowing from the last chapter on familial acceptance, i mulled over the merits and demerits of the book. Yes, i agree the book does not help the current negative stereotypes of lesbian women in Singapore. Yes, it is sad that people still attribute homosexuality to some childhood mishap. And certainly, it is rather sobering that some people cannot reconcile their sexuality and faith. But the book is about Karen’s working paradigm of her sexuality, spirituality and the world. Some lesbian women do think in such and such a way.
I define an autobiography as a life story worth a read.
As an autobiography, i think No More Daddy’s Little Girl has delivered.
A Review of ‘No More Daddy’s Little Girl’ by Karen Lee
The first is to empathize with the struggles of people in the LGBT community and their difficulty in order to gain acceptance into society/religious beliefs. In a country like Singapore where gay marriage is not legalized, gay and lesbians may have to work harder to obtain eventual acceptance. There is a big debate as to whether people are born gay or whether they turn gay due to environmental factors. However, this is not covered in the book.
The next important fact is to learn to respect the LGBT society as they have the right to love and attain happiness through romance. As in Karen’s case, she clearly describes the pleasure and love she felt during the courtship and subsequently marriage with Dorothy. Being more open-minded will allow you to better understand others and learn to walk in their shoes.
For Karen and perhaps some of the LGBT community, much exploration may be needed before one can eventually settle on a same-sex life partner. From the book, one can appreciate Karen’s fear of commitment issues that are associated with marriage. Before her marriage, she also had other girlfriends. It is important to understand that physical attraction and sex do matter in relationships even for LGBTs. So are issues like infatuation, flings, platonic relationships etc. Relationships are an art and always requires hard work to make them flourish. This is so whether for bi/hetero or homosexuals alike.
Finally, you can live by your decisions more easily if you gain the respect of your community/religion. Whilst this is important, it is also crucial to be able to take a stand and stick by your decision. If your heart and mind are in sync, you will be less likely to look back with regret. This also involves the need to have a strong value system to ensure that your actions will be consistent with your values.
My memories as an immigrant professional woman in Ottawa, Canada 47 years ago. A new life after having survived the liberal war of a new country Bangladesh on December 16, 1971.
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