Kindle Edition Amazon Obscene Thoughts -- official book website Paperback Audio Book Category:  Relationships Publisher: CreateSpace ISBN-10:  1479203068 Type: Non-Fiction Pages: 342 Copyright: June 13, 2013 ISBN-13: 9781479203062 Price: $7.95 (eBook) Sorry, ladies, says pornographer; men are just natural cheaters -- an iconoclastic, argument-starting take on the battle of the sexes. Obscene Thoughts: A Pornographer's Perspective on Sex, Love, and Dating examines progressive, intellectual and academic constructs regarding mate selection, sexual behavior and the reasons why people cheat. Obscene Thoughts investigates and deconstructs core socioeconomic and biological values and the sexual behaviors of men and women, in a fresh, distinct manner.

Clarion Review
Sorry, ladies, says pornographer; men are just natural cheaters.

Men are “hard-wired” to cheat on women sexually, says pornographer Dave Pounder, who explains why in Obscene Thoughts. Pounder says that evolutionary biology teaches us that the hunter-gatherer ancestors of modern man had sex with as many women as possible to propagate the species—an impetus still alive in men today. Because of this, women need to accept that it is instinctive for men to seek multiple sexual partners, even when they’re in a supposedly monogamous relationship.

Pounder has vast experience in adult entertainment, along with a bachelor’s degree in finance and a master’s degree in information management. He has also conducted an independent study of the biological, anthropological, and psychological aspects of human sexuality. Because of his background, the perspectives Pounder offers on subjects like love, dating, and equality between the sexes are entertaining, informative, and polemical.

Obscene Thoughts invites argument from female readers and anyone caught up in the romance of mating. For example, along with the theorem that infidelity is programmed into men, the types of males that today’s women choose as mates are predetermined from past practices of their female hunter-gatherer ancestors. They chose men that were the most physically fit, thus, good providers. In the case of twenty-first century women, the best providers and the “fittest” mates are men with the most wealth.

This potentially controversial stance also provides much food for thought. Pounder uses unorthodox, but logical, analogies that push buttons and also show humor amid his explicit teaching techniques. For example, in the following passage, Pounder compares women and men to cats and dogs: “It is not just the obvious physical and biological differences that separate men and women; it is temperament as well … Like dogs, most men want to have sex with anyone … are eager to meet almost everyone, are happy chasing balls for hours … Women … are much more like cats. They are clean, sophisticated, and are hesitant to jump onto just anybody’s lap.”

Pounder applies his expertise in economics and his insider’s understanding of the porn industry to all elements of male and female relations. This includes long-term domestic partnerships and marriage. Where it might be easy to slip into a callous and jaded tone, Pounder comes across as realistic and pragmatic. That said, some readers might take offense at his casual attitude and seemingly immoral positions. Pounder addresses this with a quote from Freakonomics, a book by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner: “Morality represents the way that people would like the world to work—whereas economics represents how it actually does work.”

Readers who enjoy Steven Pinker’s The Better Angels of Our Nature and Jared Diamond’s The World Until Yesterday will be enthralled by Obscene Thoughts. It strips away the thin veneer of civilization and knocks humanity off the top rung of the evolutionary ladder. Sex, once again, becomes all about fecundity and continuing the species.

Kirkus Review
A director and producer of pornography offers his thoughts on subjects ranging from dating to marriage to career management.

Contrary to the title of Pounder’s brisk, enjoyable dissertation on the ways of love and lust, there are no truly obscene thoughts here; instead, using a variety of devices—from the boardroom-speak of business manuals to an analysis of the films of Julia Roberts—Pounder analyzes the often hypocritical ways Western society views sexual relations between men and women. He notes, for instance, that a man who walks into a bar and asks the nearest attractive woman to have sex with him would be “slapped or publicly harangued as a pervert”—which strikes Pounder as irrational, since “sex, assuming the normal types of protection, is a far more healthy form of interaction than the consumption of alcohol and tobacco, but our society condemns the former and embraces the latter.” The book features a good deal of this type of somewhat naïve candor, as well as several dubious assertions—that well-sexed people are happier or that “the majority” of men in relationships have affairs, for instance—offered as scientific fact (nebulous “findings” from organizations like the Pew Research Center are mentioned but not documented). A somewhat cynical attitude—perhaps learned in the porn trade—is often visible, as when he flatly declares that “in order to have a sexual transaction, the truth must be distorted.” In various hypotheticals, women are compared with inanimate objects—automobiles, cellphones and the like—often enough to bother some readers. But Pounder’s prose is clear and engaging throughout, and his frequently irreverent ideas about “inconsistent society norms” are not only incendiary but thought-provoking. Sometimes he oversteps, as when he claims, “Denying that the majority of men cheat is tantamount to denying that the majority of drivers speed,” but even those excesses make for interesting reading.

An iconoclastic, argument-starting take on the battle of the sexes.

Amazon
The practice of ignoring evolutionary influences in favor of fashionable social convention when exploring human sexual behavior has always seemed absurd, particularly when we would never discount basic biological factors when explaining other common human behaviors such as stress reaction, beneficial dietary practices, and a variety of other physiological human actions and reactions- the evolution of the species on a biological level is relevant to everything we do and it is illogical to assume that we could ever escape that.

While in theory the concept of monogamy is very neat and tidy, I think if one takes into consideration almost any period in history one is bound to find society has always been rife with infidelity, although the very idea of infidelity throughout history has most often been shrouded in shame, largely due to the fact that the practice of monogamy is often deeply rooted in religious belief.

This book is brilliant- forthright and thought-provoking, it presents a valid new approach to sexual conduct (and misconduct) that one simply can't help but entertain, although I would argue that on a certain level it is not entirely accurate in its portrayal of the female perspective on dating and sex; modern women (and women from many societies throughout history) are very firmly men's sexual equals and I think that men may be in for a surprise if they were indeed aware of the extent to which that is true- I'm sensing a bit of a 'Sorry Ladies!' mentality in some of the passages and reviews and I would argue that that is highly unnecessary- there is enough statistical evidence out there to bear out the claim that modern women are every bit as lusty and open to sexual adventure as our men although we clearly don't operate according to the same criteria and we may have the luxury of being slightly more discerning about it.