Many years ago my friends and I would sit around and play what we called "Jerry Springer: the Home Game". The object of the game was to see how many upcoming shows we qualified for, with the story to support our claim, and whoever had the most at the end of the program won. I was the reigning champion. This book started off as just a lighthearted collection of anecdotes, stories shared with friends over the years to both the horror and delight of my audience. But as I began to write I realized that the humor of my life comes not from the light moments, but the dark, and without those moments being included much of the humor would be lost without that context. This book is a bit darker than I initially intended, but I hope that while reading this I can make you smile, even on occasion laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of the situations I have found myself in over the years, and that you, like me, can find the humor in all the dark places. I do not believe I have any wisdom to share in this telling, nor is it even an inspirational tale of achievement by overcoming adversity, it is simply my life that I have survived. For better or worse, this is the mostly true, fairly accurate, and almost completely factual account of my life. Some liberties have been taken to protect the somewhat innocent and a few small embellishments were made for the sake of a good story.
Professional Reviews
‘Like mist slipping through my fingers, I was once again losing myself in someone else's life.’
Illinois born Lisa Orban has walked, run, been shoved through a wild beginning life and she is here to share that life with us. Not only does she write well (as though we were sitting next to her chatting) but she opens windows onto foster care, child abuse, domestic violence, teenagers’ angst at what exactly is an ‘adult’ and yet mixes all of this grim reality into a memoir that is profoundly involving and moving - and entertaining and full of some zingers that will have you howling. And despite all this she earned an Associates of Arts in Psychology and a minor in Art. ‘Over the years she has held many jobs, but never quite found the right one. She has written poetry and short stories on a variety of subjects from raising children to finance for online publication.’ And all this crazy quilt of background she now has written as a dark comedy that is based on her life that could settle in the genres of Chick Lit, memoirs, autobiography, or Young Adult fare.
This is not a book that is tidy to review: this is a book to experience, especially if the reader has no personal connection with the roughshod traipse through childhood and young adulthood Lisa has endured – and now manages to make us laugh with her (as well as try to overcome the desire to just give her a huge hug). Example of her fortitude: ‘Marrying Billy also meant an end to all the things I had been working towards, or at least, they would have to be put on hold. My plans to attend college in the fall, something I had dreamt of for so long, would once again have to wait. My independence, something I treasured even as I groped for it, would have to be set aside in the new reality of "we".’
Or better yet, taste this: ‘I am an adult now and I didn't grow up to be a Madame of a house of ill repute. In my life, I most often resemble the ringleader in a madhouse of anarchy. But sometimes, I wistfully remember the longing for flowers, gentleman callers, and enchantment that I think all of us have had at one time or another. Whatever that childhood ideal of adult life may have been. My life is not glamorous, no high society people come to call, and any dinner party I have ever had has ended in the verbal equivalent of a food fight. But, looking back on my life I realize by and large it has been a helluva ride that I wouldn't exchange for anything. So, this is my life, for better or for worse. I hope you enjoy the ride as much as I have enjoyed the roller coaster.’
While reading this memoir a tune from ‘Sweet Charity’ comes to mind – ‘If my friends could see me now’. But we CAN read her now, and if your psyche is aching for a massage, read Lisa’s fine book. You’ll feel better.
- Grady Harp, Hall of Fame Top 100 Reviewer & Vine Voice 5 Stars
Simply Brilliant
This is the best book that I have read it a long time. The subject matter is sometimes hilarious, sometimes tragic and always thought invoking. The narrative has a relentless pace which makes it more compelling than I could have dared to imagine. It swings between a homely, familiar tone and a breath-taking roller coaster of a read in which you cannot do anything other than wonder at the depth of character that the writer must possess in order to have come through the adventures and ordeals that she describes with such magnetic skill. I can't praise this book enough and urge you to indulge.
- R.J. Hutton 5 Star
Brilliant Debut
“It’ll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting” is a collection of narrative essays and a brilliant debut from author Lisa Orban. Part coming-of-age, part coming-to-grips, Orban tackles growing up in dysfunctional families, foster care and transitioning into adulthood through personal anecdotes told in a brisk style that makes it hard to put the book down once you pick it up.
Orban is upfront that the reader shouldn’t dive into her world expecting resolution and recovery by the end of the book, and while this might be refreshing for cynics like myself, it's also fresh way for the optimist reader to discover beauty and inspiration from the unconventional. Orban consistently illustrates this possibility through her reminiscences of both circumstance and consequence. Although her life is an emotional rollercoaster of ups, down and twists, she manages to keep the reigns steady on chaos and retains balance between tragedy and hilarity through her tales. While some may argue that there may be peace in finding normality, Orban demonstrates how deviating from social obedience encourages us to define the world we live in by giving it meaning, and she does just that.
This is an essential read for teens and young adults, particularly those dealing with family dysfunction - and for us older folks, it helps to repair the disconnect many of us experience between adolescence and adulthood because it’s easy to forget that we’ve actually been there. “It’ll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting” is an entertaining narrative that will stay with you long after you read it.
- M. Harris 5 Stars
Want to review or comment on this book?
Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Reviews for "It'll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting"
It'll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting is a decidedly bittersweet, entertaining autobiography of Lisa M. Orban, who was raised by an immature alcoholic mother veering from pillar to post and husband to husband with the consequence Lisa becomes a parentified child, forced to live an adult life before she is one. Hoping to escape the chaos of her mother’s home, she opts to live with her father, and she quickly finds out the grass isn't greener as she learns he is a controlling, law-enforcement officer allowing no autonomy and demanding rigid adherence to too-strict rules.
Lisa starts her life as an indomitable human spirit and this spirit eventually comes to the fore after repeated unfair treatment causing rebellion against her toxic father to whom she wouldn’t apologize when he gives her yet another cruel version of his latest tough love policy, which eventuates in Lisa being put into the foster care system. At first, there was a wonderful reprieve as she meets Eula. The author writes, “My time with Eula may have been the happiest of my adolescence. I had love, acceptance, and stability, I had freedom that was laced with reasonable rules that kept me safe without feeling confined. I excelled in
my classes and caused no problems for anyone. And, as it turned out, it was my doing so well that caused my exile from Eula's home (after only three months). My father
had been keeping tabs on me after entering the foster system.”
The reoccurring theme, “And then it got bad” shows up as Lisa is forced to leave Eula's home where she has never felt so unconditionally loved and understood. She then moves to another foster home and it is bad and so is the next, just not quite as bad!
At first, it was so hopeful that Lisa's circle of friendships which she was able to develop all of her young life into adulthood end up being at first a loyal, helpful influence, a handhold for her. Then some of the friendships turn into a mixed bag as she begins to follow the haphazard course of “children learn what they live and live what they learn.” If you don't know healthy, you don't make healthy choices overall and especially with respect to the maturity and the mental health of significant others!
Although offered an escape route from a lover Lisa is warned about, because her friends know that he has a dark side she has never witnessed, she makes a choice that ups the ante for her life theme “And then it gets bad." As Lisa stay with this man, her life unfolds in a series of unfortunate incidents which escalates into such seriousness that her life is at stake.
The story and denouement of author Lisa M. Orban’s life at times left me rocking with laughter and at other times wracked with fear and pain for her as she sacrifices herself to chaos and the toxic behaviors of others while also trying to find an elusive stability within and without.
The author makes it very clear at the end of her story what domestic abuse is! She lists the toxic behaviors and also gives telephone numbers to get help so the imprisoned partner can find support to leave, something most victims are reluctant to do despite the escalating danger to them and their children.
I found author Orban’s book a fascinating read that had me quickly turning page after page, reluctant to take a break from what the next "And then it got bad" experience would be. It'll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting was a captivating read that also educated me about the pain and wasted time of a human life caught in the web of domestic abuse. Yet, this story is no pity party; there is much to admire about author Orban's resiliency and gracious acceptance of her life story!
On February 20, 2003, pyrotechnics at a rock club in West Warwick, RI set off a devastating fire that roared through the crowded club, killing 100 people and injuring hundreds more. Gina Russo was one of the survivors, and she retells her harrowing e
Jamie was a healthy, active 12-year old who loved to skate and played hockey as well as any boy. Then one afternoon during a game, she suffered a stroke that changed her world. Her memoir takes the reader through her ordeal and her journey out of the
TRUE STORY. Bella survived an abusive powerbroker father with organized crime ties, a drug-addicted mother and a physically/sexually abusive brother. Shocking & inspirational. When she couldn't cry, she tattooed a crying angel to cry for her.
