Amazon Category:  Humor Publisher: Twilight Times Books Type: Fiction Pages: 214 Price: $2.99 (eBook) Here is a collection of wild and zany, hilariously funny stories about the life and adventures of a couple who have lived for over twenty years at a real address on Santa Claus Lane and--what else?--own a Christmas tree farm in--where else?--Texas! Darrell is a lazy, inefficient and ten-thumbed farmer who would rather write or do most anything except farm, even though he's the one who got them into it. Betty is his hard-working, efficient and competent wife. Darrell loves her dearly, and it's a wonder she has stayed with him, considering all the misadventures, escapades and hair-brained schemes he gets himself and his long-suffering wife into. These stories range from ravenous Bed & Breakfast guests who eat them out of house and home, the attack of the killer kittens, couch testing, wreath-making for dummies and many, many more, related in a style all Darrell's own. If you can get through this book without laughing until your ribs are sore, you are a rare exception and haven't got a funny bone in your body.

Yes, Virginia, there really is a Santa Claus Lane...
Yes, Virginia, there really is a Santa Claus Lane. And for Darrell Bain, life at home is filled with more funny and unusual experiences than a stocking is filled with goodies on Christmas morning.

Life on Santa Claus Lane is a collection of amusing stories detailing Bain's life on a Christmas tree farm in East Texas along with his spouse, dog, and two cats. You certainly won't be disappointed with Bain's down-home, tongue-in-cheek style and quirky perceptions of life. (Per evidence of his definition of the actual use of a tape measure: "There is no actual use for this tool because it mysteriously disappears whenever anything needs measuring.") But don't look for any talk about sex, because that topic is emphatically off limits. Just ask Darrell's wife. The exploits of their dog, Biscuit, however, is fair game.

Through it all Bain spins a sequence of tales that provide smirks of familiarity, chuckles of amusement, or downright, out-loud laughter. Wait till you read about "The Great Closet Expedition" or learn of his ironclad memory in "A Simple Errand." Even putting up a garden tent can be quite an adventure where Bain is concerned.

Whatever happens on Santa Claus Lane, you can be sure Darrel Bain will tell us about it in a fun and entertaining fashion. This book is a great read, and I highly recommend it!

One of the funniest books I've ever read
This just has to be the funniest book I have ever read. I was doing a job for the publisher Bookmice, improving the appearance and usability of the HTML versions of several books: background, headings, internal links and so on.This kind of work doesn't involve much reading from the book, but when I started on 'Santa Claus Lane', my eyes were caught by a sentence, and I got to reading, then I went to the start of the chapter to make sense of it. Before long, I gave away all pretense of working on the book, and simply read it from end to end. Even then, the content wouldn't let me alone. Many of the stories were well worth a second read, and now weeks later, they still make me chuckle. Darrel has a wicked turn of phrase: * "I was watching a football game through closed eyelids (this is something only men can do)." * "...anyone who has been owned by kittens..." * "What's that noise?" she asked. "The wall," I said. "Walls don't make noise." "They do when I bump them with my head." He describes perfectly ordinary domestic episodes in a way that'll have you laugh. I suspect this book is not for youngsters, but the more mature among us will identify with this self-effacing rogue and his ever-victorious wife Betty.