Kindle Edition
Whale Fire
Amazon
Category:
Action/Thriller
Publisher: Amazon Kindle
ISBN-10: 1520332920
Type: Fiction
Pages: 148
Copyright: July 31, 2016
ISBN-13: 9781520332925
Price: $3.99 (eBook)
Dead Man Tweeting? Police Detective Arkaby receives an unlikely visitor from his past who sets him off on an international mystery quest. Does the secret of an eternal afterlife reside in a Caribbean medical school autopsy lab? Arkaby needs to find out before all of reality changes forever!
What would you do if the spectral victim of a murder appeared at your door demanding you resurrect his case? Discovery of Willum Granger’s severed body was the animating force behind Police Detective Arkaby’s most troublesome case. Why is he back from the detached departed? The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Still skeptical Detective Arkaby reluctantly travels to the Caribbean where he not only locates Regi, but also stumbles across the now reconnected body of Willum Granger in a Caribbean medical school autopsy lab. Arkaby describes Regi as "a cool drink of water he'd like to swallow in one gulp," but that may just be the Caribbean heat talking.
The Golden Parachute, Twitstery Twilogy Book 2, is a fast, funny mystery composed of Arkaby’s real-time Twitter account.
Excerpt
Chapter 1.
The Same River Twice
Willum Mortimus Granger is still dead. How then is he standing, larger than life, at the entrance to my office? “Knock knock” he proffers
Knock knock? When I last saw Granger he was definitely splitsville, cut in half by A his amoral yet strangely overzealous clone lab director
You say “Cut in half? That’s ridiculous! No one would believe that!” CSI-Miami disagrees. Watch “Die By the Sword” https://youtu.be/qbL_kFRFCLk
Granger had had a series of organ replacements at his cloning lab “Body Parts R Us”. The generally accepted theory was he sought immortality
As his surgeon, A slipped Granger slow absorbing sutures during his last procedure and then switched his cell ringtone to “Call to Post”.
Befuddled by toxic honey from his exwife’s beeviary, Granger answered his phone and split in two as his bottom half took off down the track
I know, sounds like a crazy and overcomplicated way to knock someone off, but no more so than a high speed bike ride with a Japanese sword.
A asserted killing Granger saved mankind from some kind of bondage. Or from Little Caesar’s pizzas. I wasn’t completely clear on that point.
It was something about haute Shakespearean princes and bas cuisine. Not your typical motive for murder, but definitely above my pay grade.
Maybe A was a few Twitter followers shy of a flock. He wasn’t the only one of his 26 single lettered siblings I encountered on that case.
I exchanged harsh words, or at least hard consonants, with his brother B, partner to Granger’s failed enterprise, Lavender Blue Dilly Dilly.
Thanks to a verbal tussle with B I haven’t fully recovered my voiced bilabial fricative. And I haven’t yet figured out the mysterious Mr. X.
Any of the twenty six siblings had motive to knock Granger off but only A had the tapioca to do it. His sole mistake was to follow my tweets
Following my every move on Twitter, A stayed a step ahead of me as I was bee stung, scent drenched, de-catheterized, and nearly freeze died.
Yes, I survived a series of painful misadventures to bring A to justice. The generally accepted theory was I sought to avoid that again.
Who am I? My name is Arkaby. You don’t know about me unless you have read a book by the name of Executive Severance; but that doesn’t matter
That book was made by Robert K. Blechman and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.
Until the Willum Granger murder my cases were all routine. Murder victims were found with various grievous injuries, but seldom cut in twain
It appears that Granger is now not dead and somehow reassembled himself. He has returned from the grave and I have his undivided attention.
That also seldom happens. He isn’t a cat, so I assume he couldn’t be both dead and not dead. There are only two possible explanations.
One, Granger is actually dead and this isn’t him. As he stands before me playing “knock knock” games, this alternative has a disadvantage.
Two, Granger isn’t dead. This IS him. How could that be? I had found his severed body and had shared freezer time with his better halves.
If it isn’t him, who or what is it? Could the lab rats at “Body Parts R Us” have assembled a clone Willum Granger out of spare body parts?
If it is him, how has he cheated death? Is he just not-dead or actually un-dead? Is his appearance here precursor to a zombie apocalypse?
Or do my senses deceive me? A slight disorder of the stomach makes them cheats. Could he be an undigested bit of beef, a crumb of cheese?
Is there more of gravy than of grave about him? The dickens if I know. All I know for sure is he doesn’t go away when I rub my eyes.
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