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Authors Website $6
Category:
Humor
Publisher: RJ Communications
ISBN-10: 097866180x
Type: Non-Fiction
Pages: 139
Copyright: April 5, 2006
This is an unorganized collection of thoughts and observations on political correctness, dating, religion, Enron, gas prices, Michael Jackson, customer service, horror movies, tornados, relationships, Ned Beatty and much more.
This book will mainly appeal to those readers who have a somewhat warped sense of humor.
Have you ever awaken in the morning and discovered that you’re holding a bloody axe? Man, what a bad way to start the day.
Have you ever noticed how much the Stealth Bomber looks just like the spaceship the government denied confiscating in Roswell back in 1948?
Men, you know it's going to be a bad date when she wants to bring along 6 kids, and four of them have the stomach flu.
“I’ve had such a bad day! Sam didn’t show up to work today so I had to work on his report too.”
“Oh, the traffic is just terrible! It took me an extra 10 minutes to get home.”
“I was going to have a picnic but it rained. I have the worst luck!”
“I broke a nail.”
Hey folks, these aren’t “bad days”. These are minor inconveniences. A bad day is your child’s picture in the paper, with the word “missing” underneath it. Think about that the next time you think things aren’t going your way. It kind of puts everything into perspective.
Dating Tip #4
Girls like surprises, so instead of doing the usual boring dinner and a movie routine, do something different - take her hunting. It’s a great first date idea, especially for “city girls” who don’t get outdoors much. They’ll love it.
Have you ever been using your computer when all of a sudden everything shuts down and you get an error that reads "Program Terminated! Catastrophic Error!" Isn't that being a bit melodramatic? When I think of catastrophic error I think along the lines of the Brooklyn Bridge collapsing or a meteorite crashing into L.A., not a bug in a software program.
Excerpt
Women, you know it's going to be a bad date when, instead of flowers or candy, he brings you an opossum.
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