99 Action Tips that can be used for mastering fear, a major task powerfully presented to the world's populace on the occasion of 9/11.
Longtime California psychotherapist, author, radio host and Emotional Literacy expert Ilene Dillon condensed her nearly half-century of work with emotions into a compact booklet loaded with her pearls of wisdom about how to master (not just manage) fear.
Excerpt
On September 11, 2001 (9-11),
people identified as “terrorists” commandeered commercial airplanes and crashed them into New York’s World Trade Center, into the ground in Pennsylvania and into Washington’s Pentagon building. Thousands of people died. These events and those that followed (such as death by anthrax bacteria sent through the US mail) were designed to create fear in the hearts of Americans. Osama bin Laden, in a video broadcast around the world on the first day of bombing in Afghanistan (10/8/01), said “America is full of fear from its north to its south, from its east to its west. We are glad of that.”
That same day, Senator Richard Shelby of Alabama, was interviewed on Larry King Live and said simple words that inspired this book. “If we hunker down and we hide, the terrorists are going to win.” The day before on the same program on CNN, terrorism expert Larry Johnson answered a question all Americans were asking: “What should we do? We should be calm. The best thing we can do is not to be afraid.”
“Not being afraid” is much easier said than done. Yet, it is a primary lesson we need to learn to get us through this horrible segment of history. Mastering fear is different from “managing” it. Mastery puts us in charge, not on the defensive. In the spirit of helping America learn how to “not be afraid,” this booklet of 99 tips for mastering fear, and sharing this mastery with others, is dedicated.
Tips for Mastery of All Feelings
Make friends with your feelings. Emotions are given to us to help guide us through life. We need to know them and determine their message in order to live better and more peaceful lives.
Learn to recognize the special message that each feeling has for us. Feelings tell us what to watch out for, what direction to go, and warn us to be ready to react. Love tells us to come closer; and fear tells us to proceed with caution, being ready to “fight or take flight”.
Step into your feelings, allowing yourself to feel them, to know which feeling(s) you are experiencing, and facing whatever those feelings are attempting to tell you. Feelings that are ignored only appear to go away. Instead, they hide inside of us (most often damaging us all the while), growing, waiting to pop out when the next similar experience occurs.
Accept that each experience you have on this earth is an opportunity to learn something. No matter how difficult the lesson, it’s the learning we take away from it that really matters. Embrace your lessons, instead of resisting them or pushing them away.
Expect yourself always to have emotions; humans will never be able to “get rid of” emotions. That’s because emotions are part of our daily guidebook. The trick is to get their message and allow them to pass through us as quickly as possible.
Trust your feelings; they never lie. While at first you may need help to learn what they are showing and telling you, eventually you will find they are the most trustable part of you. They can tell you what you need to do before your brain can comprehend what is happening.
Tips for Action Toward Mastery of All Feelings
Imagine yourself as a riverbed, and the “water” coursing through you is emotion. Our human systems are made to “channel” feelings. If we fail to channel our feelings, they rise to “flood stage” and hurt others and us, instead of helping us, like they are designed to do.
Think of planet earth as a “giant school,” to which we have all come to learn and grow. As a “student” you will see your feelings and experiences differently than you now do. Once you know your feelings and understand your experiences, you will have “puzzles” (more fun) instead of “problems.”
Learn the lessons presented to you as soon as possible! Once a lesson is presented, it is offered over and over and over again until you learn it. Even more important, each time a lesson is presented in “planet earth school,” it is harsher than before. Why not learn the first time it is presented, since there is no escape; it will just be repeated until you do!
Avoid repeated lessons by realizing that this is school: if you don’t learn the lesson, it is presented over and over. Gently inquire of yourself: “What could I possibly be trying to teach myself through this experience? When you learn the lesson, you get promoted!
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