Category: Gay/Lesbian/Bi Publisher: Angela Wilson
ISBN-10: 97814505541529000
Type: Fiction
Pages: 202
Copyright: February 2010
ISBN-13: 9781450554152
This is the 3rd part to the Trilogy...it is the continuation to No One Knows..It!!
Excerpt
Introduction
A lasting relationship didn’t seem to be in the cards for me and I had given up completely years ago. In my heart I wanted it but in my mind it was an irrelevant necessity. I had grown tired of trying to think up new ways to find that special one, who was chosen to be my soul mate. I finally got some sense and realize that if she came good and if she didn’t my validity did not depend on that of another being. There was someone made for everyone is what I had always heard and I knew the ones before my lovers, were just a stepping stone to my Heart’s Desire. I sat and listened to some music, Chrisette Michelle had been demanding my listening skills and the sista was deep and different!
I loved the singers that could make you think in the present, past and future tense. Music had become my escape into a world where I couldn’t be touched but made to feel all different kind of emotions that let me know that I was still alive.
I think that people should be allowed to just be themselves and whatever it is that makes them happy or at peace then they should be allowed to do so. Too many stipulations and expectations inflicted by others! I was tired of always being the one who enlightened others or added spark to their lives when would I receive what I was always giving out? I was at this rebellion stage in my life and no one or nothing was off limits!
Why did others want to make you feel as if there is something tremendously wrong with you? Wasn’t not doing what everyone else was doing the thing that made you an individual, I didn’t do stress or pressure in my personal life and tried my best to keep it far away from me in my professional life. I just needed to be free to be me to do the things that brought joy and happiness to my life and sometimes it was doing absolutely nothing!
Many had come and gone in my life and some who just happened to stayed became closer to me over time, some the trust had diminished and others well they were hanging on by a strand. People were disappointing and if I could allow some distance between us we had a better chance of salvaging the friendship. Strange I know but necessary. I was always in control of any situation at least that’s what I made myself believe. Hurt over and over I refused to allow it to enter my life ever again.
I was a Bitch and if people couldn’t deal with it then they didn’t have to be around me! I was through trying to please others, worried about how others felt about me, what they thought about me was not important any longer. So I did what any other human being who had known pain or hurt. I began the self-destruction phase in my life without thinking of the consequences involved. I closed my eyes as I listened to Chrisette sing, sound like she had been through a lot also but it was my pity party not hers.
I poured myself some more Merlot and watched as the candles burned and tried to get a sniff of the scent that was suppose to fragrance the entire room, right now I couldn’t smell a damn thing not even the wine I was drinking. My life had become such a joke that it was no longer funny. I needed a vacation Paris sound nice the city of Love and Romance maybe my soul mate was waiting for me there.
I heard the rain hit against the window and I knew what was coming next. What a combination rain, wine, music and candles glowing and I was here alone. The story of my life but there were times when I just didn’t have enough time to spend with everyone who begged to be in my presence. I was flirtatious and very outgoing; the life of the party and a joy to be around but that was before. Before the changed, before I shut all the important people out of my life! Those who were just hanging on to my coat tail that were immediately removed, the story went something like this.
Before I go into the story let me remember my manners and introduce myself, I am Anaya a beautiful voluptuous woman with smoky eyes and a set of full lips. If you look at Nia Long I am the thicker version! Looking for love in all the wrong places, always giving but never getting and recently I discovered a side of me that I never knew or maybe it’s because I didn’t want to admit that I was a natural born Freak!! I find myself deep in some shit that only the good Lord can get me out of but the hardest part is I’m not sure if I want out!!
Chapter 1
Anaya
We met under unusual circumstances I don’t think that either of us was looking for anyone, she just happened to be the bartender and I was the patron. Having someone to listen while you pour your heart out was a comfort. Still this night I wasn’t very talkative and really didn’t feel like being bothered! She was cute enough but after a few drinks everyone started to look attractive, this had become my place of escape when I want to forget about the rest of the world. There wasn’t too much I had to do these days I had just lost my job, now my life was heading in a very disturbing direction.
It was hard trying to keep myself from setting into the depression stage so by getting out I fooled myself into thinking that everything was going to be just fine! I really didn’t see a reason to deny myself the smaller things in life that had managed to bring me a little joy. So many times I would drink just to forget about it all well at least for the moment. Sitting in my seat I listened to the music that was playing on the jukebox and rocked back and forth to the rhythm of the beat. Not too long ago had I broke up from my last relationship and normally I would rush into another one but these days I wasn’t feeling that too much!
I would always make it to the bar early in the day and would often leave as the crowd started trickling in but tonight I discovered that I wanted to stay a little while longer and see what the night was going to bring. I watched the bartender as she flirted and smiled with the other customers and felt a hint of jealousy because thirty minutes ago she was mine… exclusively. I knew it was part of her job and the way that she made her money through her tips, so I decided to go to the dance floor where there were a few couples out there dancing. I moved alone to the beat of some old school music and made my way around the dance floor in my own little world and soon everyone was dancing to the beat!
To my surprise many wanted to dance with me and as we danced I seduced them with my moves and then sent them on their way as I waited for the next victim. I have to admit I was enjoying myself and happy that I decided to stay. I went back to my seat and the drinks just started coming, I asked the bartender who sent them and she just smiled and rocked to the beat.
“Don’t ask questions just drink up, there’s more to come.” She stated.
I smiled and thought to myself that she was beginning to look better and better to me, I was attracted to a person’s personality as well as their look. It had been challenging in the past for me to see a woman and work at making her mine! Usually after getting her and months later I was ready for someone new and that’s when we normally would go our separate ways.
Every relationship wasn’t meant to last and I really didn’t expect them to and as soon as they did something to piss me off my feelings changed instantly and the worst thing someone could do was insult my intelligence or think that I was stupid enough to believe their lies. There were times when the break up was my doings but not often, I had basically given up on love. I had made up in my mind that I didn’t need it at least not in that way, I knew there were others who thought the same as I did it was just a matter of finding them.
I thought about my job at the restaurant and how I was going to miss the friends that I had made in the seven years that I was there. I only had a glass of wine before going in like I had done so many times before and even though there was no wet floor sign as I went into my department I had to take a drug and alcohol test and because of their policy I was fired and Didn’t have a leg to stand on for unemployment. I would find another job eventually but right now I needed a vacation and quick!
‘I have to go back soon,’ says Adam one afternoon. Yes, I know he has to go back soon. He has to go back to London and to his job and his apprenticeship. He has taken the maximum number of days leave – he has taken his entire Summer holiday in the Sp
