“Green is the new Pink.” now that sexy gay crusader Jayms Blonde, heats up the battle for global warming in “Project Popcorn” the first installment of The Hair-Raising Adventures of Jayms Blonde. Meet Jayms Blonde. He’s gorgeous, he’s gay, and he makes the bad guys pay! A hairdresser by trade and a secret agent by choice, Jayms and his faithful pedicurist Precious Needmoore, lead the fight to save the planet from bad hair and bad air. Armed with bulletproof-mousse, Uzi blow-dryers, and hair-curler-hand-grenades, they rescue the dude-in-distress, and make saving the earth look fabulous! When a hairdresser turns hero, “wash and blow” has a whole new meaning. So stand back world, when Jayms Blonde kicks ass, it’s foreplay!
What Are People Saying About Jayms Blonde?
“Snaps for Jayms Blonde! Finally a sexy secret agent who saves the dude-in-distress!”
JAI RODRIGUEZ – Queer Eye For The Straight Guy
“The Hair-Raising Adventures of Jayms Blonde is sexy, swashbuckling, and saturated with sweat.”
LEONARD JACOBS – Back Stage
“He’s hot, he’s sexy, he’s my personals ad come to life.”
ROBERT GANT – Queer as Folk
“Jayms Blonde, is so hot and fabulous - he even made my Mohawk hard!”
FELIPE ROSE – The Village People
“I LOVE JAYMS BLONDE!!! He’s my personal hero.
CHAD ALLEN –The Donald Stratchey Mystery Series
“Robert Cabell deserves a big fat wet one for Jayms Blonde.”
PERRY BRASS – Author of Angel Lust & Warlock
Excerpt
KIRKUS REVIEW: everything congeals into a wildly enjoyable ride for readers.
WASHINGTON DC BLADE: over-the-top storytelling and risqué character names.
XTRA WEST (Vancouver BC): Jayms Blonde fights for the environment with his arsenal of deadly cosmetic products, sassy comments and unquenchable libido.
Los Angeles Independent Weekly: Riddled with snappy one-liners that makes a statement about Hollywood just as much it does about sex. . .
GAYWIRED.com: Jayms Blonde, is going to take you on an entertaining joyride.
DAVID of ATLANTA : "The Hair-Raising Adventures of Jayms Blonde," tells the story of a cheeky, hunky hairdresser who moonlights as a secret agent – and the pun-rate is sky high
IN MAGAZINE: This one feels like the first in a delightfully silly series.
247Gay.com: With irresistible sexiness, Robert W. Cabell's Jayms Blonde is one book that delivers page after page of twists and turns.
HX MAGAZINE: Breezy and funny, Jayms is a hero for every gay boy out there.
Professional Reviews
Blonde. Jayms Blonde - The Connecticut Post
Connecticut Post - December 17,2007
Movie critic and feature writer, Joe Meyers, rambles and keeps us posted about theater, film, and books
Blonde. Jayms Blonde.
When Rupert Everett was still a hot Hollywood commodity based on his widely admired appearance in “My Best Friend’s Wedding” back in 1997, there was talk that he was working on a superspy script that would feature a gay variation of James Bond.
Nothing ever came of that idea, but I was recently sent a very funny illustrated novel — “The Hair-Raising Adventures of Jayms Blonde” (iUniverse) by Robert W. Cabell — that affectionately spoofs Agent 007 with a wild tale of international intrigue featuring the gay hairdresser/secret agent of the title.
The combination of wild, globetrotting adventure and stylish graphic novel illustrations every few pages gives the book a wonderful over-the-top feel similar to that of the campy 1966 cult film “Modesty Blaise” which was about two heterosexual agents (played by Monica Vitti and Terence Stamp) but had a very gay look and feel thanks to the pop art set designs by Richard MacDonald and an ultra-fey performance by Dirk Bogarde as the villain of the piece.
“Modesty Blaise” was based on a popular comic strip by Peter O’Donnell that he later turned into a series of novels (the John Travolta character is seen reading one of the books in “Pulp Fiction”).
Bond and Modesty battled international gangsters and conspirators who always cooked up elaborate extortion plots that threatened to heighten Cold War tensions.
Blonde’s foes are evil capitalists whose industries spike global warming and other eco-disasters.
The hero and his cohorts work for STOP (Stop Terrorizing Our Planet) which is covertly funded by media celebrities.
James Bond fought an organization known as SPECTRE (Special Executive for Counter-Intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion) led by the supremely evil Ernst Blofeld.
Blonde and STOP’s primary foe is ZENRON (Zillionaire Environmental Nihilist Reinstating Oligarchy Nobility). The group is represented in the first adventure by “the richest, most beautiful and most heartless woman in the universe: Zaroya Sylva Kenmore Cohen Abud Grimaldi Chang.”
Cabell clearly had a ball transforming literature and film’s most promiscuous heterosexual spy into his very active gay hero Jayms (who we meet in mid-tryst with a boy band and who renews his Mile High Club membership in an early chapter with not one but two flight attendants).
Ian Fleming’s tales are turned topsy turvy with gay variations on most of the beloved 007's cohorts — Blonde's Miss Moneypenny is Precious Needmoore, Blonde’s long-suffering aide de camp who is always hinting at long term romance to the insatiable Jayms.
Cabell has worked for HBO and Columbia Pictures and there is obvious cable series potential in this premise if anyone in Hollywood has the nerve to bring it to the screen.
Kirkus Discoveries - The Hair-Raising Adventures Of Jayms Blonde
Kirkus Discoveries
Cabell, Robert W.
THE HAIR-RAISING
ADVENTURES OF JAYMS
BLONDE: Project Popcorn
iUniverse (230 pp.)
$14.95 paperback
July 1, 2007
ISBN: 978-0-595-42474-0
A sexually insatiable gay male hairdresser doubles as a crime-fighting superhero in this pseudo-graphic, Hawaii-based spoof. Flipping the handcuffs off the bed from his latest dalliance, former decorated Navy Seal and champion defender of everything Jayms “I talk like Oscar Wilde and kick ass like James Bond” Blonde (6 feet 4 inches, 235 pounds, 2 percent body fat) receives an assignment from Mama, his superior at the clandestine environmental protection agency S.T.O.P. (Stop Terrorizing Our Planet) located beneath the Jayms Blonde International Salon. Three secret agents have been killed in half a day’s time, and Mama wants answers. Together with histrusty 20-year-old sidekick/pedicurist Precious Needmoore and gadget guru Harry Hardware, Blonde battles arch nemesis ZENRON, the subterranean “international cartel of oil and energy” largely responsible for the Earth’s atmospheric deterioration, and ZENRON’s beautiful and deadly owner Zaroya. Armed with an arsenal of beauty products that double as weapons, Blonde and his cohorts are in near-constant turmoil trying to outsmart the menacing Zaroya and her lesbian sidekick Vichyssoise, who are both determined to kill Blonde at any cost. Hit-and-runs in Hong Kong, mauling tigers, killer ninjas and a kidnapping attempt aren’t nearly enough to knock this gay superhero out of action. There’s even time to foil Zaroya’s airborne-virus conspiracy. While not quite a graphic novel, it comes close with generous illustrations throughout, enhancing the action and providing a sleek visual aide to Blonde’s heavily embellished heroics. At the end of the day, the protagonist is happy to just lie back, spout all the sexual innuendo he can muster and relax until the next dastardly villain crosses his rose-colored path. Cabell makes the over-the-top zaniness and mock action-hero antics fun, and everything congeals into a wildly enjoyable ride for readers who enjoy the adventures of a muscle-bound, crime-fighting queen in tights. A super-silly, whirling first episode that will leave gay superhero fans scratching their heads—and eager for the next installment.
Kirkus Discoveries, Nielsen Business Media, 770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003
discoveries@kirkusreviews.com
A Secret Agent By Another Name - Los Angeles Independent
A Secret Agent by Another Name
An author creates an action hero for our times.
By Cristina Peña
“The name’s Blonde, Jayms Blonde-hairdreser by trade, and secret agent by choice,” reads
the opening line in the racy action-comedy novel “The Hair-Raising Adventures of Jayms Blonde: Project Popcorn.” Making a book-signing appearance at A Different Light Bookstore last Wednesday and the West Hollywood Book Fair on Sunday, author Robert W. Cabell uses his fl irtatious narrative to pack a serious pro-environment message. “I wanted Jayms Blonde to be an icon for the world, a cheerleader for the environment, not [solely] a gay icon,” Cabell said. Blonde’s mission: to save the world from bad hair and bad air.
Going for an “over-the-top gay narration with all the illusions to pop culture,” Cabell introduces Blonde as a 6-foot-4-inch, ex-Navy SEAL, intelligent blond stud — a master at both disciplining hair-do’s and environmental criminals. Armed with a band of sidekicks including pedicurist Precious Needmoore and boss Mama, the agency called STOP (Stop Terrorizing Our Planet) saves the environment by fighting against corporate greed. As the plot thickens, Blonde must stop the evil cartel ZENRON (Zealot Environment Nazis Ruthlessly Obliterating Nature) from releasing a virus that would destroy corn crops, forever preventing the use of green-friendly ethanol fuel. Riddled with playful double innuendoes, Cabell teases with snappy one-liners that makes a statement about Hollywood just as much it does about sex. “Humor is organic to me,” the author said. “You can take it as far as you want. You can blush and turn the page or if you want you can fantasize about the characters for hours.” Along with the steamy flowery language, Cabell pairs comic-style illustrations. A collaboration of two artists along with Cabell’s own mastery in drawing help to solidify the characters and create the “Blonde” world. “A lot of comic books can be very dark, highly over drawn,” Cabell said. “I wanted all [these] characters to have very strong bold lines, very crisp visual look.”
Cabell first was inspired to create the action-character following a three-way conversation with Rubert Everett, the British actor best known for his role in “My Best Friend’s Wedding” and a friend over coffee. Everett expressed interest in a gay-version of the notorious Bond legend and it was then that Cabell decided to write a character for him.
“I didn’t want it to be another cold war [story],” Cabell said. “The cold war was over and I didn’t want to be another corporate espionage or about terrorism.” A long-time environmentalist, the Oregon born writer decided that the environment would be the modern-day crusade. Singers Sting and Elton John fight for the rainforest and AIDS, Cabell said, now we need a gay hero to rally for mother earth.
The novel raises a very serious concern packaged in a very simple and fun way, Cabell added. “I think that society is finally making [environmental awareness] trendy,” Cabell said. “Trendy is good because it means it’s timely. We are no longer the tree-huggers, the ones you walk away from at the table or not invite to the party. Now there is a regenerated interest in preserving the earth and taking care of the environment.”
For Cabell, this novel was a challenge to write. Revising the novel nearly a dozen times, the author said that the themes had to be carefully balanced. “There is not a subtle bone in my body, but the blending of sex and humor with environmental and political issues took a great deal of dexterity which I don’t poses,”
Cabell said smirking. “The challenge was to create a style that embraced everything.” Now 125 pages into writing the pre-sequel entitled “The Deadly Orchid,” Cabell has plans to produce a four-part series which continues to follow the adventures of the secret-agent. In the end, Cabell describes Blonde as the “updated-Tarzan with the world as his jungle and John instead of Jane by his side.”
Contact Cristina Peña at cpena@wavepublication.com
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Just a simple gathering of the Gay & Lesbian Activist Association of New Birch and Sipsboror (GLAABS) and we plunge down a hilarious ride to perdition.
