It seem to take a long time for Papa to talk to the nurse so I decided to walk up that long hallway to see why it was taking so long. I was ready to leave and I’m sure Jo Ann was, too. I was getting hungry and wanted to go home so we could eat supper.

I walked up that long, dark, terrifying hallway and saw the nurse. She was older than Papa, and with her beautiful white hair, she could have been over one hundred years old in a child’s eyes. She looked up at me when I entered the space where she was sitting on the sofa reading a book. I looked at the title of the book and it was Withering Heights. It was a book I would probably read when I was older.

I looked at her and asked, “Where’s Papa? My sister and I are ready to go home.”

She looked at me and I thought I saw tears in her eyes. “Shelby, your Papa has gone home. You and Jo Ann are going to stay here in the orphanage.”

I looked at her dumbfounded. I had no idea what she was talking about. “What’s an orphanage?” I asked. The word was long and I couldn’t get all of it out of my mouth to sound right.

“An orphanage is a place where children live who have no parents. That is the reason you and your sister are here.” I must have been okay with what she was telling me because I didn’t say anything for a long moment.

Then I looked at her, pondering what she meant by no parents. “But, I do have parents, my daddy and Papa. Papa is my Papa.” I stood there looking at this beautiful, older woman for quite some time. “Why are we going to stay here with you?” I asked.

“You will stay here with me for now. Then you will go to a house where there are a lot of girls living.” She smiled at me and I turned and ran back down that long, dark hallway, hearing my shoes squeak as they touched the rubber mat. I ran to the playroom where my sister stood…waiting…for me at the door.

Jo Ann was crying by now and when I saw her I started crying. She didn’t understand what was happening and I didn’t either. No matter what I said, we both cried more. Jo kept saying she didn’t want to stay. I didn’t want to either, but Papa had gone and we didn’t think we would ever see him again.

I, being a year older, understood a lot of things, but I was having a hard time digesting Papa leaving us alone with a stranger. Did someone make him give us away? Was Daddy responsible for Papa giving us to the lady with the white hair? We had no idea what tomorrow would bring. Two small children struggling for five years and not knowing where we would end up next.

This was not the first rejection I felt, but it was certainly the worse one. It hurt throughout my small body even though I didn’t understand where the hurt was coming from. I was so sad, I didn’t know what to do. My sister and I were in no-man’s land. It was such a deep hurt from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head. Heartbroken mercilessly because Papa didn’t love us. He left us with a strange woman and wasn’t coming back. Jo and I would never see him or any member of our family again. We didn’t understand why he did this to us again. We were simply too young to understand the adult world.