Fifty Confessions is a series of free-verse poetry that wrestle with the "feeling of wrongness" inside the poet, Paul Kiritsis.  As the poet mentions in the author note of the book, this feeling, a genuine health mystery, is still undiagnosed today.  Based on his experience with the medical world and this malady, he offers these 50 confessions.

In the poem, "A Stroke of Wrongness" we see the heart of his medical dilemma:

"Something is very wrong.

I do not feel well

Sitting on the throne of my being.

It has begun feeding

From my spiritual arteries.

It has begun to set loose

This restlessness inside of me."

Readers will be touched by the desperate plea for someone (some force, some spirit), to pay attention to this pain inside of him.  The poet often breaks down the illness so we can understand his struggles, not only in the present, but for the years that have passed, and those he dreads that are yet to come.  This is the burden of an undiagnosed illness on the human psyche.

I particularly liked "Formulaic Medicine" which spoke of going to the doctor when you are feeling sick and in need of care, only to receive a clinical, non-emotional and often uncaring response in return.  The poem urges the doctors:

"That your hard-earned knowledge

And experience

Might someday turn against you,

Unless you heed to the facts

And physics of one's heart."

In "Diagnosis X," the poet talks about an issue common to many of those who come to a medical professional with legitimate health concerns, only to be told that either it's "all in your head" or that, as the poet mentions, the patient should "see a psychiatrist."  This is an all-too common occurrence when physicians cannot medically explain or understand the patient's malady.

In "Mercy," the poet sends up a short, sweet, sincere prayer that asks God why.  What does he have to do to end this pain, and what did he do to deserve it in the first place?

So often poets speak of emotional pain only, and I enjoyed the perspective of physical pain as it relates to and brings about emotions, questions, and prayers.  The section Actions and Reactions is perhaps the most personal of the confessions.  The reader is immersed in diary-like observations too personal to be uttered aloud, yet fascinating when absorbed as the written word.

"The Beast Within" is a wonderfully poignant poem that reveals just how heavy the burden of carrying a mysterious illness within your being can be.  It talks of embracing the darkness of pain as a matter of routine -- something other people would fear -- and yet the poet deals with this on a daily basis.

Mythology and history are combined throughout the personal themes of pain and spiritual questioning, which add up to be a thoroughly enjoyable selection of poems that readers, regardless of their background or experience, will be able to enjoy.  I was touched by Fifty Confessions, with many of the poems remaining behind with me, a reminder of the brilliance of the poet Paul Kiritsis.