Category: Memoir Publisher: Herodias, New York
ISBN-10: 1928746039
Type: Non-Fiction
Pages: 272
Copyright: Sep 1 1999
Never before have we been allowed to share so powerfully and intimately in the life and struggles of a Catholic nun.
The Cannibal's Wife is the tell-all memoir of Yvonne Maes – a former nun who was forced to leave the church after speaking out against the priest who sexually abused her.
When Sister Yvonne Maes became a missionary her dream of transcending herself – truly giving her life to a higher purpose – was becoming a reality. With her arduous childhood on a dairy farm, her years in the convent, and her training as a teacher behind her, Sister Yvonne was at last attaining her dream of promoting education and social justice in South Africa. Selfless, deeply caring, and above all obedient, she remained true to her calling and to her vows.
At age forty-six, however, her life was turned upside down. Suffering from professional burnout, she attended a Church-sponsored retreat where she was seduced by her assigned spiritual mentor, himself a Catholic priest. Over a period of eight years Sister Yvonne found herself trapped in a web of sexual abuse that eroded her spirit and challenged her faith. Condemned to a life of secrecy and shame, the repeated sexual assaults left her powerless to reform, resist, or expose her charismatic abuser.
In The Cannibal’s Wife Yvonne Maes takes you inside the world of a nun struggling with an overwhelming predicament to explore the emotional and spiritual geography of an embattled religious life, to gain an understanding of "celibate" sexuality and its predators, to uncover the roots of her vulnerability to sexual abuse, and to share in her emergence into a powerful new consciousness in both theological and personal terms. Victimized again during the perils of prosecuting her case within canon law, where priests–and mothers superior–are intent on maintaining their power at almost any cost, Sister Yvonne is eventually forced to seek solace and understanding outside the Church.
With the writing and publication of this landmark and thought provoking testimony, Sister Yvonne is now able to break free from a cult of silence, seek justice in truth and lead herself and others down the path to healing.
Excerpt
In northern Canada the dark night sky is often painted with the spectacular iridescent colours of the aurora borealis. Inuit legend says these magnificent lights are torches carried by spirits to guide the way for the living. Rays of bright green and waves of ice blue dance like magic across nature’s pitch-black canvas. I have spent many sleepless nights staring at the flickering sky from my home in Labrador. In a whimsical way I have often wondered, is one of those spirits looking for me?
Tonight, I’m sleepless once again. I reach for my journal of Africa #1. It’s a light green Hilroy exercise book No. 990, narrow ruled. I leaf through the tattered yellowing pages. The neatness of my entries surprises me as I flip to 1969 and begin to read. Far from this northern night I relive my time in Lesotho, Africa.
February 21, 1969
Two hours of sleep–drove a woman named Pulane and Chief Tsiu to the Maseru police station to report an attack on the woman's life–ritual murder attempt it seems!
I can recall that night like it was last week–not thirty years ago. I was a new missionary tutor at Mazenod Teacher's Training College in Lesotho, Africa. I had been in the country just eight months and already experienced some remarkable extremes: four-blanket nights in July, dusty winds off the Kalahari in August, giant aloe blossoms in December, and the scorching drought of February. Like the people, this land never ceased to amaze me.
Professional Reviews
Powerful Memoir
The Cannibal's Wife is a searing, self-revealing, and frightening book. On the personal level, it is about sadomasochism, gender asymmetry, and abuse of power. On the social level, it is about institutional blindness and complicity. It is ironic that the church may be one of the last locations in which sexual harassment can be practiced without serious repercussion. It is a riveting read.
Margaret R. Miles
Dean and Vice President for Academic Affairs The Graduate Theological Union, Berkeley
Gripping Story
I could not put it down. She has written the most gripping description of the inner landscape of the abused, and reveals the hidden reserves of ecclesial resistance to cope with the abusers within its ranks. I have reviewed over two thousand accounts of clergy abuse. This is the most telling and lucid. A moving statement.
A. W. Richard Sipe
Author of Sex, Priests and Power
Quill and Quire
As a Catholic missionary in Lesotho, Sister Yvonne Maes found herself with the nickname Madiepesane after the mythical wife of a cannibal chief, who was constantly escaping her husband’s cooking pot by using simple tricks. After eight years of scrutinizing her own relationship to men and the Church, Maes began to see the image of the cannibal’s wife with a bleak symbolic resonance: a woman who uses all of her wiles not to escape her tormentor, but to allow his dominance over her to continue. In this futile image Maes eventually came to see her own life as a dedicated nun reflected.
A sheltered Manitoba farm girl, Maes delivered herself straight from a sexually abusive father into the waiting arms of the Church. Maes, basic unworldliness still intact, was in her 30s when she realized her dream of missionary work in Africa, Here she encountered the man who, through ruthless sexual exploitation, exploded for Maes the myth of a benevolent Church where priests are all-knowing and irreproachable.
Working with writer Bonita Slunder, Maes writes in a prose style that rings a little over edited at times, and on occasion two separate voices seem to be at work. Nonetheless, the story is utterly compelling. In the book’s first half, her sexual naiveté seems almost incomprehensible to today’s secular sophisticate. Her abuser justifies himself with scripture and one wants to reach inside the text and give her a good shake, Years pass and she continues to write and meet with him in the hope of making their relationship "right," which he uses as an excuse to torment her further. But it is her eventual resolve to demand retribution from the Church that inspires the reader to root for Maes in earnest. Soon she has transformed herself from a passive Madiepetsane to an avenging angel. Unfortunately, it is the process of seeking justice from an inherently self-protective institution that strips Maes of her illusions entirely and results in her renunciation of Catholicism. Scratch one young, idealistic nun for one very wise, battle-scarred woman.
Lynn Coady, author of Strange Heaven
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Reviews for "The Cannibal's Wife"
Reviewed by Stacy
8/14/2001
Yvonne Maes is a strong and brave woman and her memoir is a powerful statement. It puts a face to the terrible crisis of clergy sexual abuse.
She never felt safe at home as a young girl, and didn't understand why when she finally escaped she wasn't safe in the big wide world either ...effectively jumping out of the frying pan into the fire!
Rosetta was born in 1909 as the youngest of ten children. The family had more laughter than money and neighbors would knock on their door to ask, "Can we come in and laugh, too?"
We Will Stone Him is a raw, unfiltered trauma memoir about surviving childhood abuse, emotional manipulation, and the lifelong wounds that follow. This true story marks the beginning of the Rising From The Ashes Trilogy, John Gambacorta and his survi