“Did you think you'd have to give up your interest just because Matt was gone?”
“Well . . . yeah. Mom wants me to be a girl. And . . . the cars weren't mine . . .”
“They are now, and she'll come around. You're the best one to teach Jarrett everything he needs to know. Matt didn't hold back anything when he instructed you. What he knew, you know. Jarrett's thrilled with the arrangement-whatever he actually understood of it. He's talking about going to rally school now. Think he thinks it comes before kindergarten!”
“I'm sure he does! You know what The Club is going to say when they find this out?”
“Yeah! Isn't it great?”
I laughed. “Perfect! Thanks, Irvy. I appreciate this.” Oh, in the worst way I wanted to fling myself into his arms and kiss him! Wrapping my arms around myself, I blurted instead, “So . . . what about your interests now?”
“Mine?” More a statement than a question. The reserve shadowed his eyes and touched his tone with a certain coolness. The lighter moments were banished.
“Yeah. Set me straight here! Have I dropped out of your top one hundred?” I hadn't meant to phrase it quite like that; it just slipped on out.
Must've hit a nerve. “You know you've been further up the line than that,” he told me after a slight pause. “But--this is hitting me in a way I never expected it would, Joleigh. I-I need some time.”
“Yeah? How much time? We were supposed to be married now! I was thinking we could get married on my parents' anniversary. Everyone would already be there, and it's only--”
“Ah, Joleigh . . . that's really not a good idea. Let's just have the party for them and let that day be theirs.”
All right, I'd figured it was too crazy and selfish a plan myself. But I was hoping he wouldn't mind that. So while it was a small comfort that he'd said, “Let's just have the party. . .” instead of “You just have . . .” I wanted some real assurance I wasn't a page in his history book. Wanted to hear we were yet a couple ourselves. An assurance our marriage would come about-soon! Which prompted me to challenge, “Fine! Tell me our license isn't going to expire before we discuss our day!”
By the look in his eyes, it was evident he hadn't a clue how to answer me. Which was sad. The license was valid for another couple of months. He needed more time than that?
Bewildered and feeling pretty much like old Fritz had slammed me in the gut, I dared to reach out and touch him. “Why does it have to change just because Matt's gone? Why can't we help each other through this? Why're you backing off? Why's Jace? At the wake--”
I stopped, suddenly recollecting what he'd said to me at the wake. How he'd stayed pretty much with Jace until Tippy persuaded him over. It'd already started changing between us, and I hadn't recognized it. Just had thought it was grief and that kind of thing. I mean, who could miss it in Jace's behavior because it was so obvious. But still, he'd treated everyone in the same angry manner--except Jarrett and Irvy. Irvy'd been--well--like his mother . . . sort of.
A horrible notion swept over me, and I vented it. “This feels a whole lot like good bye! That why you're doing this for Jarrett and me? Because you think it'll hurt less?”
“It's not like that, Joleigh.”
“No? You haven't acted like you wanted to be around me since before we buried Matt! Maybe you haven't noticed, but we're all hurting here! Just because you don't need me to hold you, doesn't mean I don't need that from you! I'll always need it from you!”
The romantic quality of the moonlight faded away . . . showing me something else totally unexpected. How utterly unapproachable he appeared . . . untouchable! The moonlight illusion and the chill I detected in his manner curbed my desire to be in his embrace. When he didn't reply to that, I wrapped my arms about myself once again, suddenly needing him to leave-right now- so he'd never see my heart bleed.
But no, he moved a step closer, and he cupped my face in his hand, caught my tears on his fingertips. For a second I thought he'd kiss me. His hand dropped away, and with just a look I think was regret, he walked quickly to his car and left.
The pretentious four year old brother of Joleigh Anna, Jarrett steals the book with his comments and long lists of his personal likes and dislikes! Quite a character.
All in all, the book is very well written and setting aside the main plot, is enjoyable and all does end well in the end! It's just how we get there that is difficult to follow...