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Darrell Bain

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Life On Santa Claus Lane
by Darrell Bain   
Books by Darrell Bain
· The Sex Gates
· Medics Wild
· Tales From A Texas Christmas Tree Farm    >> View all

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Category:  Humor
Publisher: The Lighthouse Press, Inc.

ISBN-10:  0971191581

Type: Non-Fiction

Pages: 160

Copyright: 
Jan 1 1999

Here is a collection of wild and zany, hilariously funny stories about a couple who live on Santa Claus Lane and --what else?--own a Christmas tree farm. The misadventures and escapades Darrell gets himself and his wife into are related in a style all his own, and one which is gaining rapidly in popularity because it is so crazily out of the ordinary. Now sit yourself down, get the bandages ready for your sore ribs and read on; you are going to be entertained!

Only in America could we find an official Post Office address of Santa Claus Lane--with a Christmas tree farm on the road!
Darrell is a lazy, inefficient and ten-thumbed farmer. Betty is a hard-working, efficient and competent farmer’s wife. Darrell loves his wife dearly, but it’s a wonder she has hung in there with him, considering all the misadventures, escapades and hair-brained schemes Darrell gets himself and his wife into. His one redeeming feature is that he likes to write about them.
Here you have Darrell’s first collection of stories, ranging from ravenous Bed & Breakfast guests who eat them out of house and home to Runaway mowers and tillers; and then there’s the attack of the killer kittens, couch testing, mattress madness, the three legged iron scorpion, the lost Viagra pill, and many, many more. If you can get through this book without laughing until your ribs are sore, you are a rare exception and haven’t got a funny bone in your body.


Professional Reviews

Life On Santa Claus Lane
By Tracy Eastgate. Under The Covers Reviews. Absolutely delightful. The author has written about some of his and his wife Betty's misadventures, experiences and life in general at their Christmas Tree Farm in east Texas. And yes, they really do live on Santa Claus Lane according to the post office. This book provides laughs, smiles, and chuckles. The author talks about going from living in the 'big city' to living in the country. The differences in the ways of life and makes you laugh about them. He tells you about his experience with meeting his first possum, the trials of housebreaking a puppy and what they went through, him learning to drive a tractor and the misadventures with that, and many, many more. I have read a few humor books and have never laughed as much as I did with this one. Don't be fooled by thinking that this is just another guy trying to tell a funny story, this goes beyond that. The author definitely succeeds here. When you need a good laugh, chuckle or smile, grab this book, it will definitely provide one for you.

Life On Santa Claus Lane
Kim’s Reviews, by Kim Genoa Life On Santa Claus Lane by Darrell Bain is Sensational. I’ve never laughed or smiled so much reviewing a story. Darrell’s true adventures will remind you of some of your fondest memories growing up or time shared with loved ones. If you’re looking to give the gift of laughter this holiday season, this is one book you can’t pass up.

Life On Santa Claus Lane
Title: Life on Santa Claus Lane Author: Darrell Bain Contact Name: Darrell Bain Contact Email: "mailto:dbain@lcc.net" Release Date: December 2001 Publisher: Lighthouse Press ISBN: 0-9711915-8-1 Genres: Humor/Non-fiction Formats: Trade Paperback Info URL: "http://www.lighthouseeditions.com" Synopsis: A collection of wild and zany stories from Darrell Bain as he tries to outwit his wife, dog, cats and customers while pretending to run a Christmas tree farm. Life on Santa Claus Lane is a compilation of stories about the trials and tribulations of a Texas couple trying to make ends meet on their Christmas tree farm. Why Christmas trees? Uh, because they're not as scary as cows or tractors? And what's so hard about making a Christmas wreath anyway? As long as one has his trusty Swiss Army knife, it's a piece of cake, er, if one doesn't mind donating a little of his own blood during the process. And Darrell's Christmas gift of a sheepskin for his wife Betty, well it seemed like a great idea at the time. But never fear! The resident pair of killer kittens arrive on the scene just in time to rescue the household from the offending wool. This book also has tales of intrigue that go beyond the holiday season. Witness the intense drama when Betty sends Darrell on a shopping errand (again and again.) On the farm, danger lurks (as do certain odors), and it's a good thing Darrell has had army training; the possum varmints don't stand a chance! Their dachshund, Biscuit, has the eyesight of an owl which, as a member of the Bain pack, gives him an unfair advantage. How, you ask? Let's just say, he gets in a few good licks. Included in this work is an international crime thriller. Will Darrell and Betty's clever disguises enable them to escape the notorious justice system of a foreign country? And an eerie tale reminiscent of Poe (or maybe it's a tale of romance?) delves into the mystery: Where did that Viagra pill go, anyway? Life on Santa Claus Lane contains a lively cast of characters, the two-footed as well the four-footed variety. Whether writing about chickens or about how hard Betty works (as observed by Darrell as he tests out the couch), Bain is keen on describing the wacky side of life. LOSCL is sure to bring a grin to your face if not numerous all-out, eye-watering belly laughs! Just ask my husband, as he was near me while I was reading it. : ) Reviewed by Jeanne Allen for KnowBetter.com


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