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  Home > Humor > Books Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Leonard Stegmann

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Member Since: Mar, 2014

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People and Things That Went Before
by Leonard Stegmann   
Books by Leonard Stegmann
· Leonard's Pantload of Quizzes Strikes Again!
· The Last Clean Stream in America
· My Jobs and Why They All Sucked    >> View all

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Kindle Edition
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Category:  Humor
ISBN-10:  1491257695

Type: Non-Fiction

ISBN-13: 9781491257692


Leonard Stegmann's collection of memoirs is warm, funny and sometimes sad.

We are told we shouldn't live in the past, but surely there's no harm in the occasional visit? In this nostalgic collection, Leonard Stegmann remembers those delicious school lunches, his first cuss word, what he should have told those nuns and his grandma's incomprehensible inablility to see the nearly-unlimited humor potential in a slice of rubber cheese. A warm, funny and sometimes sad look back at the many experiences that come together to make up our lives. 



Excerpt

Frank at the Bat

We had won the game. I was as sure of it as I would ever be of anything, ever. The bases were loaded and my team was ahead by one run in the bottom of the ninth with two outs. You wonder how, looking into home from my right field position, I could be so confident that the win was in the bag. After all, having the opposing team load up the bases in the bottom of the ninth while your team held onto the slimmest of leads was one of the most tenuous, sphincter-clenching situations in baseball. How could I be so positive that we were about a minute and a half from victory? Easy. Frank was up.

Frank was, without a doubt, the worst player ever to jam a glove onto the wrong hand and trip over a foul line as he stumbled his way out to his position in left field. Remember the worst player on the team when you were a kid? He was Jeter compared to Frank. Frank couldn't catch, he couldn't throw and even his attempts to run were a fifty-fifty proposition that he'd fall on his face before reaching his destination. Which, incidentally, was never first base. Why? Because Frank would strike out every single time he was at the plate.


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