To scream she raced from the room, into darkness

I have drained and confused and muddled about anything.
I wish there was a guide about to help.
Should o wait for him to come home, should I try to make contact?
The question didn't stop.
They pushed and pushed through my head until I felt like my brain would be melting if I still had one.
If only he could see me, hear me, if only I hadn't died. IT ripped inside my soul and made me gasp for air.
until now, I had nothing to live for a fading relationship, a mundane job and nothing exciting to take the edge off the dullness.
But here finally I was waking to the face that I wished I wasn't dead.
based true events.