She never felt safe at home as a young girl, and didn't understand why when she finally escaped she wasn't safe in the big wide world either ...effectively jumping out of the frying pan into the fire!
This memoir is by a very good friend of mine; a friend who has revealed after many years the trauma and anxiety and depression she felt all her life before she finally got counselling, and how the memories of her childhood came flooding back when perpetrators of child abuse were found out nationally, and the media went wild as many victims came forward.
My friend has no wish to be recognised so she used a pseudonym - " ...to protect the guilty", she quipped to me, and I have helped her as an amateur book publisher to tell her story which, I have to admit, is enlightening and thankfully not too graphic as to what occurred all those years ago. My friend is now middle-aged and it's unbelieveable what she faced, and her story is well worth reading. It could help others who felt that they were alone with their experiences and doomed to life-long depression because of keeping secrets they wished they were never privy to.
Below is a synopsis:
She could be any child, quite literally, and now grown up and middle-aged, she looks back on how she managed to survive, since survive she did, but not without jumping many hurdles, getting into bad company, living among those described as being on the margins of society, taking up lethal habits to block out her reality, and hiding horrendous secrets. She nearly didn't make it.
These sessions with her therapist were an attempt to move on and accept that life isn't fair, not all the time, but also that life isn't just about the past and that we can, if we're able, influence our own future. N.E Childe injected humour into what would be a story of anguish, and she didn't want pity, just recognition for her plight. And fortunately or - depending on how you look at it - unfortunately, she found she was not the only one.
Black Ash & Green has been published for over two years and we would much appreciate reviews from readers on Amazon, just a short one will do, tell us what you liked about the story which, while being heart-wrenching, has some history to it in terms of the author's school days experiences, the fashion of the era, and the ordinary everyday practices, as this tale starts around the early 70's.
Excerpt
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
My name really is N E Childe and I always had a story to tell but was reluctant to divulge a tale I wasn't sure anyone would believe. As a consequence, I endured a lifetime of depression and low-self esteem. Then, breaking news broke in the UK about a famous and high-profile celebrity’s past historic abuse of his status, position and power, and victims started coming out of the woodwork eager to tell their sad stories, and suddenly I had a light-bulb moment. I wasn't the only one to live with the shame and worthlessness I felt, and I could put forth my story, now - even in my middle years - of my toxic home-life as a child and my running away to what I thought was freedom in the big city, only to jump out of the frying pan into the fire.
There are people out there like me, and folk who will relate to how life that starts off on the wrong foot can continue along the wrong path. Yet, there is encouragement between the lines and silver linings to the smallest of clouds as my story unfolds, and I feel empowered by the words I've written and the help I have at last sought in a day and age where abused people like myself no longer have to suffer in silence. There is also now no more silence for those that break the law and break childrens' hearts, who molest naïve teenagers and terrorise young adults fairly confident they’ll get away with it. Despite the subject matter, I'd like to think this is written in as light-hearted a manner as possible without too much graphic detail. At the end of the day, it's a story about overcoming diversity against the odds, and because my name itself seems to read as 'Any Child', I felt now was the time to tell the story and, in so doing, I was finally able to lay the past to rest.
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Reviews for "Black Ash & Green (Sessions with my Therapist)"
I'm sorry, Pearl, but I will be able to get to this book. I have a copy of Ralph W. Braun's memoir, Rise Above, on my desk, and have read about seven pages last week. I have several other books on that desk that I may never get to either. I'm not much of a reader and I don't like reading therapy sessions.
That said, I have a friend who has led a life similar to the person you are describing but not naming. She has told me several times that she wants me to write her story, but we get together seldom and so far have only a couple of pages. She doesn't seem to be able to get into the details, probably because they were so traumatic. I can't write her story without details, even graphic ones. Contrary to what you wrote, people are drawn to graphic writing much more than they are to gentle and kind writing. There is a certain fascination with evil that people have that don't experience it firsthand. They do it by vicarious reading instead.
I know the author so was given a free copy of this book to read and review, and at first I felt a little daunted as there was mention of child abuse and other unsavoury goings-on referred to in the blurb. However, I feel it only fair to point out that, yes, while there were references to some unpleasantness, it's not the whole story and it's not too graphic or distressing. In fact, if it hadn't been for the subject matter, I would say it's a very easy read and flows really well in terms of describing a young person's life struggles which weren't helped by encountering certain members of society no one would want to meet.
The essence of this memoir is the survival aspect, and I liked very much the very honest down-to-earth descriptions of some of the 'scrapes' this author got herself into, from the time she ran away from a dysfunctional home to whom she met then, and the types of 'marginal' people she hung around with; some much worse off than herself.
I would sum this up as an amusing rendition of life as an abused young lady trying to find her way in the world, and subsequently suffering from life-long depression, but that's not all it's about. To say more would be the spoil the whole reading experience. So I would say, it is enlightening and wickedly candid, but very much a heart-warmer when you get to the end. I'll also admit to needing the use of the odd Kleenex tissue or two as 'all in the garden was hardly rosy' (there's an unfortunate pun there you will notice when you read it) and certain accounts tugged at the heart strings.
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