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|  | | Eclectic Libbyland
Is he a delusional coward, or the remnant of an exiled visionary? At times, Walton Friendly can seem like any number of things; from an obsessive-compulsive Mormon who stalks an astonishing woman named Libby Hendricks (and keeps notes on her activities in the margins of his Mormon Bible), to an artist vanquished from the core of his beliefs, and forced to adopt drugs and hallucination as his reality. He wanders through a dreamscape of emotions, and enlists on his quest to gain Libby’s affections the most unlikely of helpers: William “Crazy Bill” Capresci, self-proclaimed kingpin of the subway derelicts, yet once an honest man. Walton and Bill connect on a level which sees them sharing their contempt for commercialized society, and they are each radically revolting (pun intended).
Walton thinks he deserted the United States Army during Operation Desert Storm—as well as three wives in Utah who found him to be largely impotent. Bill has deserted people, preferring the regularity of trains to the disparity of human kindness. They agree to unite in the quest for Libby, for it will surely be their last attempt to find some redeeming element in a world which has swiftly abandoned them.
Serving as a trump to this situation is the possibility that Walton Friendly may actually be the deposed President of the United States, made to disappear in an elaborate and conjoining plot between the CIA, FBI, NSA, Pentagon, and Joint Chiefs. He had radical ideas which were beginning to shake the infrastructure of the old power system.
Could Libby be nothing more than a willing, paid participant in the deadening and reprogramming of a revolutionary political mind who is still too potentially useful to kill? Or is Libby the true heart and source of the project?
To run from what is ahead in the road, for it is the end of the road—or to embrace it, and
rush forward like the spewage from a busted dam, washing over the frantic clicking of wooden
shoes on cobblestone. No more to taste the sweet simmering carrots from the pot on the stove,
and relish their last defiant crunch before becoming utterly cooked. Tulip bulbs producing green
spears then flowers, falling victim to the prankster weather before falling literally to the ground,
the season erasing evidence that tulips ever existed. And who will collect the wooden shoes, lar | |  | | Ethnic Windows & The Outside Within
In the novel Ethnic Windows, a young man must overcome social discrimination to honor the memory of his lost love.
In The Outside Within, a powerful businessman struggles to understand why his younger brother is trying to sabotage his life and career.
BR> BR> | |  | | Four Screenplays
Includes the motion picture screenplays Off Shore, Hanky, The Hawaii Brothers Inc., and Night of the Nude.
Hollywood film classics receive some saucy, naughty spoofing by author/screenwriter Francis DiPietro. Elements from such great movies as Jaws, Rocky, The Untouchables, Pulp Fiction, and Night of the Living Dead are given wild and outlandish twists and turns. Enter a world where nude zombies terrorize the Amish, octogenarian inmates use timewarp toilets to meet Al Capone, a mutated tadpole marauds a tourist-dependant beach community, and two former hit-men discover a magical bud which holds the key to their fame and their doom. | |  | | Gather the Moon
Ingstrom Ferlox: Ex-dreamer, fabulous alcoholic, Kurt Cobain deathwish. He's tired of striving for life's answers. His humor is black and morbid. He'll take any substance that has a warning label. And he's about to embark on the greatest journey of his life...
| |  | | Groveling Music: The Soundtrack to My Remarried Life
Life on the road has never been more short, sweet, or insane.
BR> Newcomers as well as followers of the progressive rock band I>Rush/I> will appreciate this fond and humorous parody of the times and travels of their famous drummer and lyricist Neil Peart.
P>/P>
P>Once a great and intrepid chronicler of his world travels, drummer Francis DiPietro is reduced to cramming his new book into the week his lovely young wife (half his age) goes on vacation to pamper herself at his expense. /P>
P>Uprooted from his Canadian home in order to follow his wife's wishes, our drummer yearns to recapture the creative voice and vision which | |  | | Holland & Bonni
A contemporary comedy with plenty of punch, Holland & Bonni scores big on the laugh meter and delivers an abundance of naughty adventures. Come, spit on their shoes.
Type or Paste your work here... | |  | | My So-Called Reality: Collected Cartoons, vol. I
Fans who enjoy the eclectic cartoon stylings of classic comics such as "The Far Side" and "Bloom County" will enjoy the wild, hip and raunchy fare in this collection by author/musician DiPietro. Whether it's putting children's cartoon characters in inappropriate adult situations or holding a barbed mirror up to modern society, there's something twisted yet lovable here.
P> /P> | |  | | Nest: 28 tales of pulp fiction
Includes the popular short stories Mastriani Flux, Honing Sol, In the Hoffgarten, Xenotraz, and two dozen more twisted tales.
Classic pulp fiction comes alive with Francis DiPietro's NEST! Many of these 28 twisted tales first appeared in vintage pulp magazines like Midnight Zoo, Aberations (only one "r"), Zoiks, Outlaw Biker, and more! Tantalize your mind with this original blend of fantasy, science fiction, humor, and horror. Enter the world of NEST, with its ancient horny gods, talking toilets, car-stealing troglodytes, wedding assassins, and a prerequisite cast of aliens, zombies, evil computers, sexy and not-so-sexy damsels, bounty hunters, filthy criminals, and private dicks! | |  | | Portobello Road
A contemporary comic fantasy.
Kyle Waterman, a mild-mannered insurance agent from Denver, quits his job and leaves his family to hop the first Greyhound to anywhere. He thought he was escaping, but with the help of a drug-laden Indian named Emerson Redcreek and a macho, arrogant wreck named Bill Capresci, Kyle finds himself transported to the world of Portobello: a Naked Lunch-type universe where gophers talk, drugs are king, and Kyle is the leader of a growing anti-establishment cult called Silverdew Gincane. With members joining at every stop, Kyle's cult quickly becomes one of the greatest enemies of the U.S. government | |  | | Soldier of the Ardennes
This custom edition contains complete scans of Mr. DiPietro's actual letters from the war. Preserved for over 60 years, they give a valuable perspective on World War II through the eyes of Francis Charles DiPietro, a front line infantry soldier with the renowned 83rd Thunderbolt Division. Deployed to Europe in the most decisive hour of the war, Frank and the 83rd trudge through the Ardennes forest in waist-deep snow to push back the enemy forces in the Battle of the Bulge. They are the first American division to reach the Rhine river in Germany, establish the Elbe bridgehead, and help deliver the blow to Hitler's forces which ends the war in Europe. The letters are divided into three main groups: 1.) covering Frank's 17 weeks of basic training at Camp Wheeler in Georgia, 2.) the war in Europe and the maneuvers of the 83rd Division as they press back German forces, 3.) the obstacles of peace and military government which arise after the official German surrender in May of 1945.
| |  | | The Afterlife of Trisha Bumwood
Malcolm Lam, gentle convenience store owner, a.k.a. Jesus, has fallen in love with Trisha Bumwood, mother of one and a first-time afterlifer. What is the afterlife? It's not what you might think...
The Afterlife of Trisha Bumwood is a triumphant soap opera of symbolism and a natural page-turner. Francis DiPietro has created a multi-faceted gem of prespectives and philosophy. To pitch it ine one line: Jesus owns a convenience store. With that as a premise, we soon learn that he has fallen in love with Trisha Bumwood, mother of one and a first-time afterlifer. What is the afterlife? It's not what you might think. Purposes abound, strategy and scheming form potent undercurrents, and the cumulatively addictive viewpoints in narrative weave the most pleasant and intriguing of spells. Indeed, | |  | | The Best of Francis DiPietro: My Greatest Hallucinations
The Best of Francis DiPietro contains naughty snippets from ten of the author's novels. Also contains other works, such as an essay on King Arthur as fact, a few humorous articles, poetry, and some personal correspondence.
| |  | | The Phoenix & The Scrolls
Forged by a demon. Foretold by destruction. Found by a madman.
P>The Phoenix & The Scrolls present brave King Kyle of Tarylia with a supernatural foe...not to mention a resurrected gay wizard named Pomothus whose favorite spell is blasting balls! In the great tradition of classic "Weird Tales" pulp and such groundbreaking authors as Robert E. Howard and Roger Zelazny, Francis DiPietro has created an homage to dark humor and high adventure. /P>
P> /P>
P>UPDATE: Listen to the Podcast of the introduction to this work for free here: A href="http://rizzn.net/scripts/podcast/podcasts/Radicator.tisyav.mp3">http://rizzn.net/scripts/pod | |  | | The Piltdown Latitudes
Prudholm Bay—a sleepy seaside community with a bad attitude. It may be the salty air, it may be the industrial plants, but Prudholm has nurtured quite an odd batch of townsfolk.
When Ariel, the local party girl, is found floating in the waters near Prudholm's Nine Points lighthouse, it seemed like her story was over. With diligence and fervor, however, someone has been digging up her corpse and copulating with it. And the audacity of the necrophilia escalates while a relatively fruitless search ensues for her killer/defiler.
Seeing his chance to capitalize on his town's misfortune, a local millionaire constructs a theme park dedicated to (and depicting) Ariel's various unearthings. Morals and scruples fly to the wind as the once-quiet Prudholm Bay plunges into a mudpile of argument and exploitation.
From the book: "Was our action really so monstrous in a world where sirens have replaced birds in the night? A world where wars are conducted to sharpen the act of conducting..."
Only one man can save Prudholm from its vapid course, and he's one of the prime suspects.
| |  | | The Taos Sows
In symbolic parallel of politics and current events, characters and circumstances within The Taos Sows center on stark juxtaposition. Numerous warring factions misuse the transient loyalty of their followers in order to inflict their ideology on all others. True government is irrelevant and subordinate to the act and thrill of governing. Virtually every character is associated with one cult or questionable organization or another, usually working against one another. This is a system upon which shaky foundations are laid, and rebellion is forced to adopt strange measures and evolve in unexpected ways.
The corners of this somewhat futuristic society are populated by slightly evolved (some would say mutated) beings known as autvers. Menlo Olsan is one of their leaders, in charge of "uncovering" (creating) relics of a pre-history in which autvers and humans lived peacefully together. The AEL, or Autver Elimination League, is obsessed with autver extermination. However, after losing their great and charismatic leader Emilio Dirken, the AEL is largely ineffectual. Emilio directs his split faction to concentrate on eliminating the dreaded lesbian duo of Yumipepper and Cattamanchia, scourges of traditional society. Some are beginning to see that his obsession has driven him mad, while others embrace his madness...
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