|
|
|  | | Life After Your Lover Walks Out: A Practical Guide
The experience of your lover walking out is devastating. It creates a situation where the abandoned partner is left to their own devices, in order to find out:
• Why this has occurred
• What they could have done to prevent it
• How to retrieve it
• How to ‘move on.’
This book clearly identifies the thoughts and feelings that emerge during this time, and offers options, suggestions and ideas on how to cope with these destructive emotions.
The emptiness, despair and fears experienced are openly discussed. This process is an essential element in moving on from a negative emotional experience to a positive emotional outcome. Any person, from whatever background, age or culture, who has been ‘unceremoniously’ dumped, will experience negative thought processes. The book reveals that these are not unique to you but are universal activities.
The book can be read in less than two hours. It is deliberately written in a short, condensed style, in order to provide immediate support and direction. This book searches the core of the problem, no stone is left unturned. It supports and directs the abandoned partner to a satisfactory, practical and emotional conclusion.
Falling Apart/Shock
Your lover has walked out! What you have feared for yourself has come to pass. You are left alone. Your friend, your lover, your companion for many years, has just walked out of your home and out of your life.
• You feel numb.
• Your feel helpless.
• You feel alone.
• Questions fly around in your head.
• How has this happened?
• Why have you come to this?
• Could you have prevented it?
• What can you do to get him/her back!!!
“What can I do to get him/her back?”
This is the first thought most of us have when someone leaves u | |  | | MY WAY to help you live in a difficult relationship
This Book is a 10 step-guide on how to live in a difficult relationship.
I developed the strategy through personal emotional experience. I had read numerous self-help books but found them too long and the case studies infuriated me! I was not interested in other people’s situations I wanted immediate help and also answers to questions that were burning in my heart.
This strategy works!
The strategy takes the reader through the process, i.e. Introduction, 1st chapter – Don’t Re-act, Be Realistic, Stay focused, Devise a long-term strategy, Devise a short-term strategy, Make one small change, Observe, Consolidate, Review.
It is simple and easy to read and that is exactly how I intend it to be.
I have 22 years experience working in the mental health sector, rising to Senior Management level within Social Services. Later I counselled for 10 years in the Primary Healthcare Setting.
I used this strategy with patients I have counselled with considerable success.
What if this is as good as it gets
You may recognise the words ‘As good as it gets.’ It is the name of a film starring Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt - an Academy Award Winner.
When I saw the film and heard that particular line it struck a cord in me. I applied the line to my own life. What if this is as good as it gets? A sobering thought if life hasn’t turned out the way you had hoped it would.
We all have preconceived ideas of what we expect from life. Our expectations are usually full of perfect scenarios, a variety of exciting experiences that all have satisfactory o | | | | MY WAY to help you live with someone else's anger
Where does anger come from:
Anger is an emotion. It stems from issues in your past that are both unresolved and unforgiven! These feelings are buried deep down inside you and cause you emotional and physical harm.
Anger comes from a past environment of confusion, chaos and lack of communication between family members. If you have seen your parents become angry, on a regular basis, you will perceive this behaviour as normal and are more likely to adopt the same method of inter-action yourself.
Anger is a habit that is rooted in our sub-conscious mind. It is a formed pattern of behaviour that is firmly established. A pattern of behaviour/ habit can be changed. Anger is based in your own fear and insecurities and a belief that you are, or have been wronged.
Anger (healthy)
It is important to understand that there is a positive side to anger. Healthy anger is part of the basic belief system that stems from a ‘high frustration tolerance level’. Anger used in its positive sense provides us with the drive to attempt and accomplish difficult tasks we perceive as threatening or unattainable/out of our reach. It motivates us to push ourselves that extra mile in order to achieve the unachievable! Positive anger is an essential element in our lives. Without it we are lethargic, hopeless, unmotivated and negative. Positive anger gives us the energy to tackle situations/obstacles/opportunities that are challenging. It allows us to expand our boundaries and take risks.
Healthy anger stems from a set of healthy beliefs:
Passion Accountable Competence
Drive Honesty Adequacy
Enthusiasm Dependability Intuition
Energy Loyalty Perception
Responsible Lovable Confident
Respectful Equality Assertive
Anger (unhealthy)
Is part of the belief system that stems from a ‘low frustration tolerance level’. Therefore, when faced with any situation that you are unable to understand or deal with, you resort to anger. When you resort to anger you are actively engaging in threatening and/or frightening people in order to push them away, and not engage in the conversation or set of circumstances that presents intself. You do this because you are unable to participate in healthy discussions that you cannot control.
Unhealthy anger stems from a set of unhealthy beliefs:
A need to control Rejection Lethargy
A dislike of criticism Failure Hopelessness
Resentment Intimacy Unmotivated
Jealousy Incompetence Unintuitive
Envy Inadequacy Unperceptive
Fear Lack of education
10 Steps on how we use unhealthy anger
• To get our own way
• To sabotage ourselves and others
• To frighten someone into submission
• To control people, situations and outcomes
• To shift blame from ourselves
• To show disrespect
• To criticise
• To intimidate
• To victimise
• To bully
Step 1: To get our own way:
This is wanting and having total control. Putting yourself first at any price! Being selfish! This individual is frightened of what would happen if he/she didn’t have total control. They are scared that, if they are not in control of all situations and people nearest to them, their circumstances/life could change dramatically and they would be left ‘high and dry.’ They have no basic self-respect or like themselves and believe they are not liked or respected by others and, therefore, they have a desperate need to stay in control in order to keep and preserve |
|
|
|
