I had 4 children born in 6 years and 2 miscarriages that taught me a lot about myself and how other people sometimes help us through life’s difficult times .
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With life there is also death , we are never prepared for this especially when it relates to a pregnancy . After 2 miscarriages I understood how precious the birth of a child really is . For every couple the loss of a baby during pregnancy is a hard call to take and in the loss of that child there are many things to contemplate .
The first signs of a threatened miscarriage , start to ring alarm bells and a waiting game begins . Initially at first not knowing if the baby is alive or not is a challenge that you have to face with many feelings of fear and guilt , grieving and loss being with you every day . These feelings soon have to give way to acceptance and surrender .
Then come the questions of why did this happen and the reasoning behind a miscarriage , until eventually you realise that there doesn't need to be a reason why and the only answer is to move on with life and heal from the loss .
Telling yourself that miscarriage happened is ok and getting through the grief that came and then life goes on .
Coping in the hard times is possible when there is faith and understanding that God knows best, even when it hurts .
Some people don’t like to talk about miscarriage as if it’s got some taboo about it , while other people might push it away thinking it will never happen to them .
There is much to be gained from a miscarriage rather than lost . It all depends on how you look at it .
With each miscarriage there are other factors that present themselves.
There are many others who have gone through miscarriage and you are not alone in that situation .
There are groups and organizations who are there to help get through all of the feelings you are going through .
Thee are good people in this world who want to help with the loss of life ,
as well as the birth of new life .
I’d like to share a poem I wrote called
“A Hard Call” that was published in a book entitled “A Silent Rose” that was written by Adrienne Ryan
The book is an excellent journal with a collection of stories from many people who have suffered the loss of a baby in miscarriage or neo natal issues .
I wrote the poem after the second miscarriage and it sums up how I was feeling at that time . It is a hard call for any parent to deal with , however , the wonderful thing I experienced , was that I was not alone in that situation .
Getting on with life after a miscarriage is possible and there are people who understand how we feel .A Hard Call
By Paul McCann
Day after day the same question keeps running through my head.
Is this child we’re expecting alive or is this child dead?
The destiny of an unknown answer is yet to come.
It’s a hard call to take when the hope of this life goes numb.
Like a ship tossed at sea I’m calm in the eye of a storm.
As miscarriage came God reclaimed the life of our unborn.
Grief for life in the womb and tomb, brief the time it was there.
Both of us felt emptiness like life in the womb stripped bare.
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