The four cornerstones of real success and genuine happiness are being cool, street-smart, likeable and life-wise.
SUCCESS DIET: Cool, Street-Smart, Likeable & Life-Wise
The Full Circle of Real Success and Genuine Happiness
By
Bill Cottringer
There are more than enough self-help, motivational and success books and programs available to last this world into eternity. But they are not that effective in getting results, because the majority of these books and programs are only dealing with half the picture and using quick-fix gimmicks, surface symptom cures and time- and money-saving shortcuts to implement only the positive side of the equation. Real success and genuine happiness can only be achieved by a holistic approach that teaches how to do and become the long-term character traits that lead to these elusive states, while at the same time avoid being their opposites.
The four cornerstones identified through years of my own success and happiness research are: Being cool, street-smart, likeable and life-wise. Real success and genuine happiness is being these ways and the results you get from being those ways. After all, the 5% truth behind everything is always what you do and what you get from either doing or not doing certain things. The rest of the 95% stuff is distracting, irrelevant nonsense.
Below are seven negative and seven positive examples of the four cornerstones of the Success Diet to beat all diets—guaranteed to restore some needed order and simplicity in your sea of chaos and disorder. The first un-cool/cool pair requires being the ways that lean toward “coolness,” as either side, when taken to the extreme, will likely not get the results that lead to increased success and happiness. With the rest of the pairs, the more street-smart, likeable and life-wise you can become, the better. Note that most of the pairs are not necessarily opposites, so you can double the list of examples in each pair by considering their opposites.
• Retro, funky dress and grooming, at least during off-work time.
• Hip language in moderation, especially with strangers.
• Follow-through with any and all promises or don’t make them.
• Variety of interests and interesting things to talk about.
• Giving somebody else the credit instead of taking it yourself.
• Asking about someone else before beginning your “bragging.”
• Not getting into money problems, especially with family and friends.
2 A. STREET-DUMB
• Trying to be an overachiever with only one form of limited intelligence; or working to improve your weakness into their mediocrity.
• Not seeing the creative potential and useful truth in ordinary, everyday, common things and not being able to communicate that information effectively.
• Not being sensitive to moments of danger vs. opportunity.
• Not knowing how you are being perceived by others or what to do to improve negative perceptions.
• Not being able to give or follow directions, even with Map Quest or a video tape.
• Not being able to get money when you need it most, without borrowing from family or friends.
• Not knowing street politics or street etiquette, like not eating pork teriyaki with a Jewish friend.
2 B. STREET-SMART
• Using any form of “intelligence” to get you where you want to be, especially good timing.
• Being able to read people accurately and know what makes them tick in order to influence them effectively.
• Acting “as if” something were already true when you want it to be so; “leaning” in the direction towards where you want to be.
• Being able to influence other people positively (or negatively) in a variety of ways..
• Having and nurturing a valuable network.
• Being a master of the clock and a master survivor (good time and resource management).
• Showing a phenomenal memory of names and numbers.
3 A. UNLIKEABLE
• Being dishonest, unreal or phony.
• Being an ego-maniac, braggart; lacking humility.
• Demonstrating hostile/aggressive feelings and expressing negative emotionality.
• Being insensitive/unempathetic with others or over-intellectualizing.
• Being physically and socially unattractive or unappealing.
• Talking too much and not listening enough.
• Acting in a rude manner.
3 B. LIKEABLE
• Being a real, honest, and genuine person.
• Being a humble, quiet achiever.
• Having an agreeable nature, and expressing an abundance of contagious positive emotionality.
• Being sensitive and empathetic with others; expressive with supportive feelings.
• Being attractive and appealing physically and socially.
• Listening well for good understanding.
• Acting in a polite manner.
4. A LIFE-FOOLISH
• Letting the tail wag the dog.
• Missing the forest and bumping into trees.
• Letting chaos from the information overload become overwhelming.
• Getting drowned in the tempting allure of unimportant, irrelevant details.
• Having Karma narcosis: Missing the connection between what you think, expect and do and the results/consequences you get.
• Over-listening to your head’s ramblings and heart’s personalized feelings; making wrong choices based on this misinformation.
• Trying to take from life before giving back when you have a zero or minus balance.
4 B. LIFE-WISE
• Focusing on controlling the controllables—your own beliefs, attitudes, communication and behavioral reactions—and letting go of the rest.
• Not missing important details and yet always being able to tune into the big picture when appropriate.
• Leaning towards an optimistic viewpoint of good prevailing in the long run.
• Striving to be in balance in most things, but knowing the 5% to be 100% into.
• Creating quality chaos or being a simplifying order-restorer, but knowing which you are doing for sure and not taking either role too seriously.
• Being driven to learn, grow and improve, and looking for creative principles that get the best results in the most situations with the least costs.
• Being guided by your soul’s conscience (as opposed to your heads ramblings and heart’s personalized feelings); never forgetting where life and love come from and then using this guidance to live right.
Increase your success and happiness by working to improve your coolness, street-smarts, likeability and life wisdom. You can’t go wrong with this simple formula that finds the 5% truth hidden away in the 95% chaos and B.S.
William Cottringer, Ph.D. is President of Puget Sound Security, Inc. in Bellevue, WA 98005. He is author of “P” Point Management, You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too and The Bow-Wow Secrets. He can be reached for discussion at either (425) 454-5011 or bcottringer(at)pssp.net
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