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  Home > Self-Help > Articles > Finding True Value in Your Existence

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Finding True Value in Your Existence
by Alvin C. Romer

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Reexamining your self-worth and finding solutions for applicable initiative

Often I question myself and negotiate terms of achievement to determine viability to that which I deem important to my being. I search myself and try to give meaning to the things that I endeavor to change for the better. These are the yardsticks that I use to measure my worth. I ask myself also –“what am I doing so that others may emulate my actions?” Am I playing a good role for the models that I teach younger folk? What about the principles that I’ve vowed to abide by…am I a true testament to the covenant I made with God to not only spread the Good News, but bring good tidings to those less fortunate? The genesis of this essay has so much to do with having and nurturing a set of goals and principles that give value up to the point where you are now, and beyond. The journey I seek is not an easy one in today’s topsy-turvy world of malice and mayhem. I will attempt then, to bend my will and assess the type of value for improved existence, and to share it with whom it may concern. Suffice it to say, the aforementioned questions, and others that will be given elsewhere in this correspondence are key and inevitable. They are not insensitive to my belief that this essay should be read and implemented by those that need it most.


It’s not uncommon to find youths in this social setting following trends and caught up in the status quo malaise of peer groupings. The much maligned Black man is beset with age-old problematic issues that have wrecked havoc psychologically effecting image and familial order. In exacting change and challenging these prevalent issues, a sense of urgency is timely and needed. Undoubtedly you have read countless articles, have been privy to several television docu-dramas depicting social ills alluding to disenfranchised communities and low self-esteem among those on a collision course with reality, right? These situations are not lost on me, nor can I sit nonchalantly and not take initiatives for soluble solutions to manifest into change. The real questions are: Can today’s youth benefit from a complete deprogramming to wrought change against the backdrop of hip hop, rap, and the gangsta mentality? When will men realize that they are grown now, and can pull up their pants? Better yet, can they mature long enough to instill in their children that self-esteem is much more than what is seen on the outside?

Two aspects that are principled in my theory for success on any level of change centers on how people define themselves, and what purpose do they ascribe to. Most disturbing negative images are the sagging pants phenomena, the androgynous mindset that young boys and girls find it attractive to take on their opposites in gender, wearing the clothes and taking on mannerisms for psychological effect. Self esteem and lack of same is at the forefront and a certain element in our social have become content for falling for anything in lieu of standing for something. Thus, it’s my opinion that low self-esteem will remain as long as the definition that the young and old give themselves are the prison that they will remain therein. Determining a purpose in life gives preparation to a meaning for goals you want to achieve that is attributed to whatever is deemed important to you. I say this despite the fact that it’s a large integral part of the American culture as much as spirituals, rock and roll, and Jazz are vital to the music scene. All aspects of popular esthetics comes into play, for it is ingrained in our everyday existence that value should be placed on that which we want continued success with.

But does negative influence need to be exponentially affluent in embracing and making wrong choices? No matter what changes are to be made in your life you will have to answer to the fiber of your being that will give signals for you to make an assessment of your life. You will WANT to define yourself, because in doing so you will then make it spiritual and allow a higher power to dictate the reasons why for the change(s). Least of these would be the applicable steps needed to tie everything together. Remember that your beliefs can uplift or destroy, but it’s the choices made in life that will validate them for greater gain. Choose your friends wisely, and understand that what you’re going through is not the true measure of who you are. I’ve been there to know what to say here. It’s about what meaning have I attributed to that which I’ve deemed important enough to want to challenge change, or what struggles and obstacles that are preventing me from defining purpose. There’s one adage that I heard someone say – “there’s treasure in tragedy, but the pot of gold is how to discover perseverance”.

In closing, I offer this caveat to the ones that want new leases on life, and that is to anchor your soul to that which would allow you to find yourself. Do not become a product of other people, or allow your self-esteem to stay without a position to move forward. We do an injustice to legitimacy when it’s just us that are labeled for failure. Motivate yourself with enough hope to have deeper meanings while going through the storms of life. This means that a purpose toward value will place on your destination a shifting of responsibility to become who you are not based on false doctrines. You will then seek those positive solutions to be better situated to give all the glory to God by keeping your praises high, and your prayers simple!


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