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Top 34 Fantasy Articles:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34,
IF I WON ... ?
by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com
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HOPE ? DREAM ? WISHFUL THINKING ?
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ???
If I Won $ ...
(C) - Tom Hyland - 3/27/15
What would I do with the Money?
Okay, let's set up some Parameters:
When my feeble mind actually remembers to Buy a Ticket ...
It is usually for the Maryland Lottery 'Mega-Millions'.
Normally, I get either One number out of Six ...
Or NONE! That's the standard Result.
These 'picks' are on Tuesdays and Fridays.
And cost One Buck.
I used to pick my own Numbers ... using Birthdates ...
Mine - my Childrens' - my Ex's - my Lady Friend's -
My old Wedding Anniversary Date ...
After this Fruitless exercise, I switched to Random ...
Let the 'Machine' do it !
Still - the exact same results ... One or None!
But it was quicker, and less Painful ...
It was the 'Puter's' Fault ... Not Mine!
Next, I starting trying my Luck on 'Power-Ball' ...
These drawings are on Wednesdays and Saturdays ...
But cost Two Bucks each for Bigger Pots!
Same results ... 'Nuttin' Honey' !
Mondays and Thursdays ... 'Multi-Match' ...
One Buck ... No Luck!
'Match Five' ... 7 Days a Week ...
Tried a couple of times ... to No Avail ...
What the Heck ... Again I Failed !
Once ... Tried '5 Card Cash' ... Playing Card Numbers ...
Zippiddy-Do-Dah !
Back around Last Thanksgiving ... Received email from PCH ...
'$5,000. A Week ... For LIFE !
WOW! Gotta try This!
Four Months Later and many hours Wasted ...
Not One Thin Dime ... Had I Tasted !
But ... I Garnered 112,250 'Tokens' ... WOW!
When I finally Read 'The Rules' ... Was I Surprised ...
Full of Bull-Shit ... Amidst Many Lies!
Daily emails from Publisher's Clearing House ...
3-4-5-6 ... Every Day ... Stupid Me ... Just Had to Play!
Games n' Slots n' Spins n' Lottos ...
Accruing Tokens til I got Blotto!
Some time ago, PCH Advised ...
Increase to $7,000 a Week ... Became the Prize!
Sometime in April ... That goes Off ...
Maybe I'll Win ... Don't you Scoff!
"YOU GOTTA PLAY TO WIN !"
That's Their Motto!
Give your Money ... to the Lotto!
***********
So ... what If I actually Win?
What Will I Do?
"LET ME COUNT THE WAYS!"
IF ... Only One Measly Million ...
Knock Off - $500K for Uncle Sam ...
And $7K for MD State ...
Leaves $493,000 after Taxes ...
How can I Divvy IT up ... to the Maxest?
Daughter - Son -Ex ... $50K Each ...
Leaves $343,000 ... For Me to ... Lie on a Beach!
IF ... TWO Million Bucks ... should be the Prize ...
Double Everything ... I Tell No Lies!
IF ... TEN Million ... Now We're Talkin' ...
I'm left with $3,430,000 ... and Not Squalkin'!
IF ... FIFTY Million Smackers ...
Five Times = $17,150,000 ... Buys Lots of Crackers!
IF ... ONE HUNDRED Million ... NOW I'm Droolin' ...
$34,300,000 ... Heart Attack? Who am I Foolin'?
"OURS IS NOT TO REASON WHY ...
OURS IS BUT TO DO, OR DIE!"
Foolish Dreams?
Hopeless Hopes?
"GIMME YOUR MONEY ...
ALL YOU ... DOPES!"
If I Won ...
I'd Be Happier Than ... a Pig In Shit !!!
(C) - TKH.
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