DESPICABLE STUFF (article) by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com on AuthorsDen

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DESPICABLE STUFF
by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com

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CAUTION !!!

If you don't have a sense of humor ...
OR ...
have a weak stomach ...

DON'T READ THIS !!!

DESPICABLE STUFF

Tom Hyland - (C) - 2/18/16

In a recent discussion with some friends ...
A rather disgusting topic came up ...
The 'Wiping" Process.

I was asked:
"Are you a Folder, a Wadder, or a Baller?"

I immediately replied:
"Oh, a Folder ... Always very Neat and Careful!"

The younger woman, the Daughter said:
"Oh, Mom and I are Ballers!"

It seems that many Females have long Fingernails ...
These have a tendency to pierce the Paper ...
"Do-Do" under the Nails is a "No-No"!

As a typical Male, always with short Manicures ...
I never ever considered this subtle,
but profound Difference.

My Method is very Precise ...
Roll off a long Strip ...
Fold Once, then Twice ...
A Minimum of Four Layers ...

If the "Musical Roll" happens to Be ...
Two-Ply ... then it is Eight Layers!
Wipe - Fold - Wipe - Fold - Wipe - Fold ...
THRICE! FLUSH !

THEN REPEAT !

Having been Married for 34 Years ...
With both a Wife ... and a Daughter ...
I can attest to the Fact That ...
They were either 'Wadders' or 'Ballers' ...

Using "Johnny's Helper" Periodically ...
Was a Proven Fact!

Oh, the other Guy in the Conversation Above ...
Said he was a 'Folder' Also!

So ... You might Say:
"What about the other Despicable Stuff?"

Well ... There's Plenty ...
That One is Not Supposed to Discuss ...
In Polite Conversation ...

How about "Boogers" ?

Remember that Old Tease ...

"There's a Boogey on your Nose ...
No ... It' SNOT !"

DESPICABLE ?

STUFF ?

DUH ?

(C) - TKH.

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